How do I say it without saying it?

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I'm full of it

No joke. Good advice.

Why not just...give it a shot? If you don't find her repulsive and you say she's got all of these good qualities, you might find your libido is dancing a MUCH different dance when you've got a hot and bothered and NAKED girl in front of you.

Unless there are repercussions to be worried about, just go for it! Lots of guys would be grateful to be in your position.

If you don't fancy her you don't fancy her - what's the big deal?

I'm such someone as self-proclaimedly wonderful as yourself should have no problem finding a woman of the requisite 'hotness' quotient

The women must be literally throwing themselves at your feet - decisions, decisions eh?

You're missing the point

He can't lower his very high 'standards'

She isn't 'hot' enough therefore she's no good

He's going to hold out for a girl who's 'hot' enough but has an appalling personality then come and moan on here about that as well

I guess I deserve that.

I don't know what to say when I have failed to live up to your expectations. Or the certainty that I won't live up to her expectations.
Or the dishonesty of beginning a relationship that I do not absolutely want.

I went from being a total social outcast to a man that could go out and bring women home.
My hit miss ratio was about 100 to 1. For somewhere around every 100 introductions, I got one lay.
And along the way I had to ask myself some questions. Like what am I picking up for when I don't want kids?
What am I going out and trying for when I'm not a stud in the bedroom?
Turns out all I was doing was seeking social acceptance through a relationship. Because social acceptance is there.
But when I was out and looking, social acceptance was darn hard to find.
So I put all the advice and experience I had gleaned and looked at where that fit in my life.
And it began with, if I don't really want to love a particular woman, and I am going to place myself in a position of emotional trust with her, then I am asking to be hurt.
And if I have no intention of seeing a woman for a second time, then I am being more honest if I buy a prostitute.

Do you not have the same situation with every friend who wants a shag?

I still don't understand the point you are making

I have practically no friends - I have Asperger's Syndrome which does not usually equate with great social success

your term 'every friend' implies you have loads of friends, many of whom want sex with you

lucky you

I would say this is not the norm for the average person with Aspergers and I get fed up of the implication that it is

it's your norm not mine

I sleep with people I want to sleep with and as I am a relatively good judge of character i make good choices in terms of
intellectual compatibility as well as fanciability

Intellect is more important than looks to me so I probably have more success than you with finding suitable partners

When you are old with no looks any more, who will you be chasing? still the 'hot' women?

Good luck with that!

No, I am absolutely socially isolated.
I was making the assumption that you had friends.
No one is chasing me.
I got an offer of sex from a housemate who didn't look like she wanted it.

I have the person I live with who is my closest friend, I see another person and have a physical relationship with them, I have an
ex work colleague who I see a few times a year and I have an online friend I made recently who I email most days but often it's been just me and the person I live, with depending on how much interaction I have with the other people/when I got to know them/whether I'm still on good terms with them

My social support system is always very vulnerable to falling apart in other words

You said earlier she was acting like she wanted sex from you - make your mind up!

She made it plain she wanted it.
Out of the blue.
Just like that.
She wasn't looking turned on.
I take the sense of my own council.
Perhaps you have something better to do than ask me to justify myself?

I'm just trying to work out the point you are making and not having much luck

How can a person be after sex with you but not be looking turned on?

I asked before what she said exactly - I'm trying to get a bit more clarity on the situation but you seem
to prefer to obfuscate and be vague

I'm not asking for justification, just explanation; all the relevant details

Maybe counselling would help you with that.

Last edited by ripped on 13 Feb 2013, 7:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

Lol how droll! (but it would have been funnier if you'd spelt counselling correctly)

I give up then - talk to other people who rate women as 'hot' - perhaps they'll talk your language

Real friends correct your spelling mistakes for you.

I'm not your friend though - I'm almost certainly not 'hot' enough and as a person who objectifies women with terms such as 'hot'
you would not be someone I'd want to be friends with either

It was a mistake to offer advice

I don't think evolution would be your favorite topic in school. Also, protip: You're objectifying people by calling them "intelligent". Reality is hilarious, isn't it?