Anyone watch "The Undateables?"

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I just learned about this UK series, and watched episode 1. I had hoped for something inspiring, and some stories were, but the story about the bloke with Asperger's was pretty cringe inducing. I looked at him, and while logically I know I'm not as clueless as he was, that I am more well balanced and on the whole have some good things to offer...but this show really brought out my anxieties. I couldn't help wonder, "Is THAT how I look to others when I'm on a date?"

Do you ever have feelings like this, that you are blind to who you are? That there is a gap between how you perceive yourself and how you are actually perceived. I'm trying more and more to engender a positive, confident view of myself, and logically I think this is true, since I have a good job, and I'm driven to accomplish my dreams, and I take care of myself...I still fear that it's all in my head, and what I'm really like is a sad, unapproachable, little person who leaves dates mortified. And I guess these anxieties are only heightened because the last two dates I've been on, I thought went tremendously well, yet afterwards, the other person doesn't return my calls or texts. I feel bad because I do want to show people to a good time, and hopefully prove I'm worthy, yet I fear I just disappoint.

I used to have feeling like this yes, before I settled down with my life partner.
Fortunately, things got better for me later in my 20s, as I observed others and learned signs of non-verbal interest, and read up on guides and stuff to avoid, and what to be funny about. Of course I never disclosed to anyone that I read materials on this, b/c they tend to think "loser" - when you're just trying to better yourself. It's a very judgemental society we live in. But one thing I will say, and I believe this technique helps, is to write down the details of the interactions or phrases used etc after the date. Occasionally I'd notice something that I regretted, and looking back on that years later, there are things that I definitely feel that I shouldn't have said (or not said or done at the appropriate time, for that matter - I neglected to hold a door open more than once...)

the guy with autism(they said autism not aspergers) was very weird. I'm talking about michael from season 2. If you look at the channel 4 website and read the comments on his profile he repeats back everything the commenters say.

i think most people are dateable, but they just have to get help from dating services and lower their standards. i am a good looking guy and this may sound shallow, but the only girl id date in that first episode, was the girl who went out with the tourettes guy..the other girls are very unattractive.

don't take the fact that your first dates didnt respond as a sign of failure. I have been on 3 dates in my life time, an i know for a fact they went well. the girls stayed with me for 2 hours drinking dang coffee lol. None of them wanted a second date either. girls have soooooooooooo many options, and most are just looking or either a free meal, or that next best guy. keep your head up. btw when you went to grad school did you take your gre?

Have you considered counseling or therapy to work on your anxieties and self-image? I think that it might be very helpful for you. They could even maybe do a "mock date" or mock socialization, and provide feedback on how you can improve.

Actually one time (but only one time) I had a friend observe me meeting a date in a restaurant, he just sat there with his drink, and then gave me comments afterwards- of course, as you might expect, he told me that the girl was showing signs of disinterest which I otherwise found ambiguous (i.e. I wasn't totally oblivious to them, but sort of suspected she might be that way). So he acted as a "confirmation board" in a way. That helped somewhat, he also brought up a couple of things to avoid saying.

Seriously, this might sound a bit nuts, but I've always been of the opinion that videotaping a date and playing it back to observe and analyze would help tremendously...but where are you gonna get the opportunity to do that. Yes, that's hypothetical self-improvement