"Why are you single?"

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05 Mar 2013, 8:34 am

It's funny how even 30+ single women, even the ones I met through dating sites, ask the famous irrelevant question "Why are you single?" in a surprised tone.

Am I supposed to not be single yet browsing a dating site?

I mean hello? I wouldn't be dating her if I wasn't single, Duh!!

My usual answer is something like "Do you want to date a taken man instead?" or "because....you found me on a dating site?" or "and why are you?"

That blogger said it best:

Quote:

Most questions I don’t mind. After all, I’m a blogger and therefore I’m narcissistic, but the one question I hate, more than anything else, is So why are you single? It strikes me as such an odd question, almost insulting. I know it is not meant as such, that I should take it as a compliment since it’s most likely phrased What’s an amazing girl like you doing single? but please tell me: how am I supposed to answer that? I am happy being single sounds like such a cop out–and kind of defeats the purpose of dating. You are dating because you are single and you no longer want to be. (Or in some cases, you just want sex and in my opinion, you should not be on dating sites. Or if you are, make it very clear your intentions.) But why am I single? I don’t know, because something’s wrong with me? HOW DO YOU ANSWER THAT? (Pssst side note: Go read Eleni’s beautiful post here, a kind of it’s you, not me battle cry for those of us singletons)

http://ashalah.com/2012/10/why-are-you- ... -nonsense/

MXH
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05 Mar 2013, 9:04 am

ive heard this before. Its always seemed like one of those sizing you up type of questions.

periphery
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05 Mar 2013, 9:13 am

IT is a kind of redundant question to be asking on a dating site. But I guess it's a not-so-subtle attempt at getting a sense of the person/their relationship history etc without asking directly. If I asked someone why they were single (can't remember ever doing that but if I did) it would be to try and gauge their past experience, whether they were recently broken up, the baggage they may or may not have and other stuff like that which I think is good to know if you're considering dating someone (especially as you get older).

The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Mar 2013, 9:26 am

periphery wrote:

It's often asked on the first date! not in prior and not after a while!

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 05 Mar 2013, 9:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

MXH
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05 Mar 2013, 9:27 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

It's often asked on the first date! not in prior.

obviously. whatd be the point in letting you have time to come up with a good answer. Thats the whole point of these size up questions, to see how good you are on your feet.

Cafeaulait
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05 Mar 2013, 9:58 am

They want to know what is wrong with you.

They are not asking IF you are single. Obviously you are.

The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Mar 2013, 11:46 am

Cafeaulait wrote:

They want to know what is wrong with you.

They are not asking IF you are single. Obviously you are.

So what am I supposed to answer? Without giving her the shock of life?

" I have failed in getting a single date and catch any female interest till age 30 so I am a first year newborn in this."

Yeah, right, a very pathetic-sounding and probably unbelievable relationship past.

MXH
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05 Mar 2013, 11:53 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Cafeaulait wrote:

They want to know what is wrong with you.

They are not asking IF you are single. Obviously you are.

its a trick question. which is kinda what cafeaulait aluded to. they are trying to find out why nobody has dated you. be it that you're bicurious, a player, or some forever alone guy and the reasons behind that history.

JanuaryMan
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05 Mar 2013, 12:05 pm

This is a trick question and the worse answer you can give is "I don't know". A s**t test answer you can give is "same reasons as you I'd expect." and a safe answer would be "rather take my time find someone decent"

Tyri0n
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05 Mar 2013, 12:30 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Quote:

http://ashalah.com/2012/10/why-are-you- ... -nonsense/

Tyri0n
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05 Mar 2013, 12:32 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Quote:

http://ashalah.com/2012/10/why-are-you- ... -nonsense/

Just say "yeah, it's rare. What about you?" If you can't stretch the truth or tell little white lies you're not ready to meet people on the Internet.

Stargazer43
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05 Mar 2013, 2:03 pm

JanuaryMan gave the answer that I usually give to this question..."I'd assume for the same reasons that you're single".

Philosoraptor
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05 Mar 2013, 2:46 pm

My answer would probably be "Because I am holding out for a meaningful relationship with a 'soulmate', and past odds have not led me to meet that special person. Thus, I am single."

It gets across my value of long-term relationships rather than short-term flings, my logical but "spiritual" demeanor (I'm philosophical not spiritual, but 'soulmate' rather than 'emotional and intellectual equal' has more of a ring to it), and puts the "blame" on probability rather than on myself or others, dispelling any concern for weakness or relationship baggage.

Not sure if that would actually work, though.

Fnord
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05 Mar 2013, 3:45 pm

Q: "Why Are You Still Single?"

A: Because:

1. "I'm not married."

2. "The voices in my head tell me to wait."

3. "A FICO score below 780 just isn't going to pique my interest."

4. "I'm just lucky, I guess!"

5. "I'd rather have sex whenever I want it."

6. "I already have enough laundry to do, thank you."

7. "I'd have to forfeit my inheritance and title."

8. "I'm waiting for your son/daughter to turn 18."

9. "I'm waiting for your husband/wife to leave you."

10. "I'd rather do something meaningful with my life."

Disclaimer: Some of these are mine, and some I found through Google.

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Stalk
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05 Mar 2013, 3:50 pm

possible answers

I came out of a bad relationship
I focused on my career
I wasn't allowed to date because of my religion
I wasn't serious about getting into a relationship
I wasn't seeking a partner

anyone else that can add on to this list?

Ichinin
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05 Mar 2013, 6:58 pm

Stalk wrote:

anyone else that can add on to this list?

"Because i am actually looking for love".

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