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muff
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29 Apr 2013, 7:27 pm

i wanted to check in and report that i had a third date with a woman, i told her i have 'autism', and...well...it didnt even seem to be a bump in the road.

we were talking on the couch (i introduced her to my flat) and she was wondering why i didnt kiss her goodnight on our second date. because she expressed concern about it, i figured i would tell her that it was because i couldnt tell whether she wanted me to or not and i didnt want to cross a boundary i wasnt aware of.

she responded (basically) 'that makes sense now' and we kissed for a bit an have a fourth date scheduled.

im...very happily surprised.



nebrets
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29 Apr 2013, 7:32 pm

Congratulations. I think that means she likes you.


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ThetaIn3D
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29 Apr 2013, 8:54 pm

That.... is awesome. :D


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With an AQ of ~32-36 and much self-reflection, I now believe myself to be some sort of Aspie-NT hybrid, with most of the abilities of either an Aspie or an NT.


Fnord
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29 Apr 2013, 9:40 pm

muff wrote:
... she responded (basically) 'that makes sense now' and we kissed for a bit an have a fourth date scheduled...

Image

You da MAN!! ! :thumleft:



appletheclown
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29 Apr 2013, 10:02 pm

Image


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minervx
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30 Apr 2013, 6:43 am

you did it exactly right.

you didn't express it way too early on like you were confessing a sin (as most people on here would do or suggest). you decided to be you, instead of an aspie label, and when a little issue came up you politely and reasonably mentioned it in a non-melodramatic way



Marky9
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30 Apr 2013, 7:04 am

Congrats man! I really like the way you brought it up in disarmingly. I have found that people react to learning I am an Aspie much in the way that I present it. If I state it solemnly as though it is a dreadful thing, they usually react to it that way.

These days being a "nerd" type of person can sometimes be viewed as a playfully socially acceptable manner of being. I have found that if I rather casually explain my being Aspie as being sort of like a super-nerd (e.g. Sheldon Cooper) it can give people a familiar framework for understanding me and know what to expect.

For example, in meetings if I find myself going off onto a bit of a tangent about something, I can sometimes rescue the moment by stopping myself with a humorous comment like "Oops, sorry - Aspie moment there!". Often the group will smile or chuckle and the meeting can move on.



aspiekelly
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02 May 2013, 9:44 pm

I had a boyfriend for a couple months and then told him.
He dumped me! It didn't change who I was!



muff
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07 May 2013, 9:51 pm

update:

so we are dating, but we are not in a relationship yet. i wanted to post back just to say that i think she is on the spectrum (im not sure what kind of importance this holds in regards to the original post, but it my be a partial explanation).

she wears her bicycle helmet when she doesnt have to (indoors), she remarks on license plate numbers when we go for walks, she doesnt seem to be able to tell if we had fun on a date stating 'friends then?' or 'i will see you again i think?' at the end of dates, even though i believe its clear that we are more than friends and she will see me again soon. she walks at an abnormally fast pace all of the time, uses a high vocabulary, and just talks on and on without seeming regard for if i am interested (though i know she would prefer it if i were).

none of this is to say that she is impaired or i dont i like her! i just wonder if...heh, if ive actually come across this person because we are alike in some AS ways. hopefully those ways compliment each other and hopefully i post this discussion as a new topic on this forum (i.e. she wants to know a lot about me, but doesnt seem interested when i share information with her).

in other words, this is quite eye-opening; i know autism is a spectrum (like almost all things i am sure), but i never thought i would be writing on this forum in regards to an AS relationship.

i am super excited and i hope it keeps going well. thank you for your support.