Should I let Women Initiate?

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Someone mentioned that if someone wants in my pants, they will get in it lol. This raises a question. Should I initiate, or should the other person? For example, I have a very small social circle, or places I could meet someone. So should I go cold calling, or no?

i'm presuming you have good social skills, at least better than the typical aspie male- this being the case, just do what feels organic to you.

I think just about any male will tell you chances are no one will initiate towards you. I'm not saying women never do, but more often than not they try it 5 times and then see how much rejection sucks and return to waiting.

You have to initiate. Even if it's only an attempt at hand-holding. If you're talking about someone you know and see on a regular basis it could play out like this: You take her hand, if she pulls away suddenly you say something like "Oh..sorry, don't know what got into me there, maybe I've had a few too many drinks." If she doesn't pull away ask her if she'd like to go somewhere with you for coffee or drinks.

The male is expected to take initiative. I've seen cases where the woman initiates, but if you're looking for something and hope waiting will work, you may be waiting a long time.

That being said, if a woman does initiate with you, remember that you do have a say in how far it goes, and can request she respect your limits if you start feeling uncomfortable.

The male is expected to initiate.

And he would be thought to be a harasser of he does it the wrong way.

Evolution!

If you wait for her to initiate, you'll end up a 30 year old virgin, like me. Girls don't initiate

I asked my husband out on our first date, not once, but twice. girls do initiate.

It's definitely true that girls don't initiate as often as guys. And I would not recommend that any guy give up on approaching women as doing so severely limits your options. But it's not as rare as some make it out to be and, no, you don't have to be the best looking guy in the world for it to happen.

The thing is, if you want women to approach you, you have to take steps to make yourself approachable. Which can be tricky for aspies. We tend to come across as cold and aloof at best, or arrogant and snobbish at worst (which, of course, we rarely actually are). It's hard for us to present the kind of warm friendliness that makes women comfortable initiating.

I've asked guys out before and I think that if the girls does the asking out then she should pay for the date. I know a lot of girls who don't think that way. They think that even though they ask the guy out he should pay.

The thing I used to not like though is if we went in my car. When I would pick the guy up he would insist on driving. To this day, almost every guy I have ever gone anywhere with has insisted on driving unless he was just too drunk. Even though it was my car. Last summer when I went and picked Ole Boy up from jail where he was doing weekends for that shooting thing, I was in my vehicle. We walked out of the jail and he just stuck his hand out and I knew what he wanted and I didn't even argue cause it would be pointless and I don't like arguing loud at the jail anyway. So I gave him the keys. And we rode out to the beer store where he borrowed money for beer since he left his wallet and credit cards at the house because he didn't need them in jail. He was kind of shocked that I had had lunch with his ex wife that day though. That was how I knew he needed picking up from jail, because she wasn't gonna do it and their kid that lived in town was drunk (he was like 19, not a kid kid) so I went

So, to recap, I think it's fine to ask a guy out as long as you pay for the date. I also wish they wouldn't whine about driving.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

I know my aspie sweetie asked ME.