How can you get a girlfriend if you have aspergers syndrome?

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Girls like those things. Put they also like loyal guys who will protect them and there off spring. Also in this day and age a smart guy who grasp tech well is pretty attractive. Not just the strongest guy with the biggest club. Make a girl feel special love her, and make her feel loved. Thats how you do it. There are plenty of people with disability's who get married. Aspie is an even better one because we can be so romantic.

Being the things that women say they look for usually is not very helpful. For one, often they aren't actually interested in what they say they are (a lot of women seem to blindly go with their gut without any sort of introspection). Two, most women (and I think people in general) have difficulty telling the difference between actual acts of kindness and friendship, and the facial expressions and voice tones that they associate with them. A lot of people seem to go through their whole lives without realizing that a person can be happy without automatically smiling. They will think that you are lying if you tell them that you are happy when you are not smiling. And that of course is the most basic and simple example possible. Most people are never consciously aware of, and have no names for many of the nonverbal signals that take place in their day-to-day lives.

Maybe people who have been here for a while are getting sick of me saying this (I am almost getting sick myself), but I tried some PUA when I was in high school, and it is the only thing that has ever worked for me. It wasn't that crap where they tell you to say pick-up lines or how to try to have sex on the first night. What I looked in to was some basic social skill stuff (but it never occurred to the authors that you didn't already understand body language), like how to flirt and how to be interesting in conversation. None of the things they taught can make one a more talented (except in social situations), kinder, or more dependable person, but they seem to be the only things that mattered. That is what I meant in my other note when I said that there is only one correct mating ritual, and it makes people not much different than birds, who select largely based on arbitrary songs, which may reject many otherwise healthy birds.

Now I have had a good relationship with an autistic woman, with whom I didn't have to worry about any of this nonsense with, but I view that as a random fluke, and I do not expect it to be repeated.

Also I don't mean to say that you can still pick up girls if you look and smell like a hobo just by being good at flirting.

Women are attracted to men who will treat them like a queen, come through on promises, and respect their privacy. These men are confident, mature, secure, and exhibit personality qualities they like sense of humor, intelligence, consideration, etc.

They are repulsed by men who lack self confidence or have self pity. Also if you have no friends this is a red flag to them. You need to mask / hide your AS condition. As you gain dating experience and social skills your ability to do this will improve. If there are gaps in dating experience perhaps a lie system to fill in the gaps about questions about past girlfriends. You may feel sorry for yourself bc you have AS, people have made fun of you thru school, your love life sucks. Do not under any circumstances reveal this to a date or prospective girlfriend; it should be a state secret. Dressing up helps.

Women are attracted to men with money, confidence. Money to women is like sex to men. If you have a good paying job and make good money, then you will get women. A really nice car and house helps big time. Money, education (degree), friends (or impression of it), confidence is like the offensive line of a football team. With this even with an average backfield you will roll right over them. Not confident, no problem - just learn how to fake it. With all the online resources you can do research.

Word your online dating profile like this if possible: Confident, experienced, secure, professional seeking woman .........they will believe it coming out the gate. In the initial meeting keep up the propoganda / sales pitch. Invent a lie system if necessary to fill in gaps in experience. But not to worry - girls dont like to hear about other girls lol.

Women are attracted to men who will treat them like a queen, come through on promises, and respect their privacy. These men are confident, mature, secure, and exhibit personality qualities they like sense of humor, intelligence, consideration, etc.

They are repulsed by men who lack self confidence or have self pity. Also if you have no friends this is a red flag to them. You need to mask / hide your AS condition. As you gain dating experience and social skills your ability to do this will improve. If there are gaps in dating experience perhaps a lie system to fill in the gaps about questions about past girlfriends. You may feel sorry for yourself bc you have AS, people have made fun of you thru school, your love life sucks. Do not under any circumstances reveal this to a date or prospective girlfriend; it should be a state secret. Dressing up helps.

Women are attracted to men with money, confidence. Money to women is like sex to men. If you have a good paying job and make good money, then you will get women. A really nice car and house helps big time. Money, education (degree), friends (or impression of it), confidence is like the offensive line of a football team. With this even with an average backfield you will roll right over them. Not confident, no problem - just learn how to fake it. With all the online resources you can do research.

Word your online dating profile like this if possible: Confident, experienced, secure, professional seeking woman .........they will believe it coming out the gate. In the initial meeting keep up the propoganda / sales pitch. Invent a lie system if necessary to fill in gaps in experience. But not to worry - girls dont like to hear about other girls lol.

The last poster seems to miss one thing: you can tell all these lies early on but when they find out and they will who is to say that that whole relationship will not collapse like a house of cards.

Some women actually like a person for who they are and could care less about your AS. Yes you need confidence somewhat and you need to like something about yourself but do not exaggerate these facts too much. Otherwise you are playing a game and manipulating. And sorry many would get upset if they found you were lying. How can they even trust you to go further in the relationship.

Totally faking it is bad advice unless you are just looking to bed the person. Then it is only for one night. Honestly there is no way you can keep your AS life a complete secret. It will never work. At some point the cat will be out of the bag so the sooner the better.

I am not saying tell them yourr life story on your profile and talk about how you have low self-esteem. Do not put that in there. I would say after you know them for awhile you can get more intimate with your details. If they are the one for you they will not run at that point. At least this should work. I have just never gotten that far.

The fact is most every aspie man suffers from low self-esteem. This does not mean you are not a man. Unfortunately many women base their idea on the myths of what traits a man should have. Every one at one time or another suffers from a poor self image or whatever. Start working on it but this does not bar you from a relationship if you have low self esteem. but if you have zero self-esteem then maybe you are right. Honestly I do not want to be with a woman who runs away because I did not have enough self-esteem. I have some but I am still working on improving it. Maybe try another woman with AS or similar problem. They may be more understanding this is something I need to try I think.

Sorry I take offense when someone says low self-esteem bars you from a relationship. That is just not true. People are way too judgmental if they do not want to talk to you because you have an issue you cannot help. This is basically intentionally not liking someone because they have an issue. That is not acceptable in my book. You need to see that people are good and try to love them anyways. Barring people from just makes their life worse.

Sorry I am just irritated that someone would say I cannot get in a relationship. You have no idea what you are talking about.

Why is it that a woman would hate someone based on something that affected them and caused their low self-esteem. A little understanding would go a long way. It is sad that someone would perpetuate the idea that anyone is barred from a relationship. That is a very hurtful thing to say.

Ignore them and they will come to you I know it seems weird but it seems to work especially when it comes to NT women if you stare at them too much or pay attention they will get creeped out etc or ignore you but if you pay no attention to them even though they may be attractive they will start paying attention to you. LOL yeah NT women are weird. It seems to work though at least for me when I completly ignore them they start coming on to me. Women tend to like complete and total indifference initially! I also notice women tend to flirt with you more when your with another woman already I dont know why maybe its a competition thing or they think its nice to want something you cant have so maybe have a female friend hang out with you like a wing woman and there you go!

Just be sweet, a gentleman, and don't be too forward with "dating" per sei, just maybe befriend her in a semi-dating kind of way, so that there aren't too many pressures.

I know that's how I've always preffered dates with guys. Knowing all the jerks who have hit on me in the absolute most absurd ways imaginable, the guys that I "always" go for are actually really sweet.

But generally, I haven't been serious so I just have light fun dates anyways, but I'm only 20, and have never been boy crazy... It's always been the other way around.

Trust me, you would be surprised how much good character can help with dating and take you a long way with persistence and practice. Patience is always key too.

And since I know AS people often have a difficult time displaying interest of others in people, try your best to focus on "her" and what "she" enjoys doing as well by asking questions here and there.
But talk about what you like as well. Most people are attracted to those who are passionate about certain interests. Whether they are into those things as well or not, honest passion for something is a positive quality in general as far as I'm concerned.

~ Btw I'm a very shy person who can be akward at times due to my initial shy barrier I often times have, though I'm not AS. However, both my father and my brother are diagnosed AS.

Due to the majority of the symptoms from Aspergers it will be almost impossible to get a girlfriend. You will need to make a lot of changes to pull it off. A lot of people with Aspergers benefit well from PUA material. It will teach you how to be confident, increase your self-worth, and an understanding of the social dynamics of dating and the psychology of woman.

Date someone on the spectrum. I promise, attractive Aspie girls exist.

First and foremost, this "PUA" (Pick-up Artist) BS will not get you a girlfriend. It might get you laid, but you will not find a long-term relationship this way.

Personally I met my lovely girlfriend by being my full-out aspie self. She was attracted to my intelligence and the not-so-mainstream fields I immerse myself intensely in (psychoanalytic theory, eastern philosophy, high-level mathematics and physics)
She liked how brutally honest I was, and that she can learn things from me.

A bit of history about her; she is not quite NT, I think. She has some "aspie-like" qualities but I don't think she is an aspie. She has some different interests like sewing, making her own clothes and furniture, random art projects... her father is a lot like me and loves to talk about his obscure interests for hours on end with us (modern art, european history, eastern philosophy to name a few), so she's used to a somewhat aspie-like environment.

In addition, she is from Russia, her parents being first generation immigrants. With that being said, they all know exactly what it's like not to fit in here, and as we recently concluded in a conversation; "No one really fits in here".
Russians seem to be particularly empathetic towards my aspie tendencies, as they prescribe themselves to be "weird" anyway; they do not see my eccentricities as odd but rather charming and unique.

So, to sum it all up: be yourself, find a girl who isn't a typical NT (she doesn't have to be an aspie), try and learn something - work on yourself, make yourself the type of guy she would actually want to be with (instead of pretending to be someone you're not using PUA BS), and maybe try to find a european or asian woman. There are of course caucasian women who would be more than sympathetic to aspie behavior, but they are far and few between in my experience; but I have noticed that asian and european (young) women are very aspie-friendly.

My assertion about these girls is based on my experience at university, being in the math faculty I'm surrounded by many socially awkward ~17-21 year old guys who, if they are not aspies, portray many aspie traits along with general social anxieties and seemingly act very awkward around these girls... but guess what? The girls are still there with them, and some of them even date the girls.

Perhaps it's time for you to learn Chinese or Russian?