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billiscool
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29 Oct 2013, 12:34 am

so,Im facing another common problem,that many aspie
men face.in last year,I meet at least 4 women,got along
with them at first,but I eventually pissed them off,
and now,they won't talk to me.(I did meet 3 ladies,
that are still my friend)

alot of aspie men seem to have this problem,
they meet a woman,the woman likes them,
but 5 months later,the woman can't stand
them. look at all these ''my aspie husband
is driving me insane'' ''aspie bf is annoying''threads.

look at the divorce rate for aspie men,how
many aspie men have failed realationship.
so many aspie men can get along with
women at first,but eventually they
get on the women's nerves.



punkguy378
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29 Oct 2013, 12:41 am

billiscool wrote:
so,Im facing another common problem,that many aspie
men face.in last year,I meet at least 4 women,got along
with them at first,but I eventually pissed them off,
and now,they won't talk to me.(I did meet 3 ladies,
that are still my friend)

alot of aspie men seem to have this problem,
they meet a woman,the woman likes them,
but 5 months later,the woman can't stand
them. look at all these ''my aspie husband
is driving me insane'' ''aspie bf is annoying''threads.

look at the divorce rate for aspie men,how
many aspie men have failed realationship.
so many aspie men can get along with
women at first,but eventually they
get on the women's nerves.


Oh yeah, I know exactly what you mean. The last woman I dated broke it off because I would have a meltdown and yell at her. I know I was wrong. But it still happened and she ended it eventually.

I think we tend to do things that drive a girl crazy. I mean sometimes it is how distant we can be, or how we get frustrated too easily. All aspie men have some traits that women get sick of.

She told me I was whiny, angry, rageful, and I cannot remember the last word she used. Maybe unhappy was the word. She always wanted everything to be happy and nice all the time. To be honest I do not think she was in reality because nothing is always perfect and happy all the time. She was in lala land or something. lol.



MadeUnderground
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29 Oct 2013, 1:01 am

I think this is just common with people in general, not exclusively an aspie thing.

A lot of women like a guy at first, then they can't stand them, same thing vice versa. I think that's just what happens when people get to know each other better.



auntblabby
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29 Oct 2013, 1:37 am

tell me about it. :(



yellowtamarin
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29 Oct 2013, 2:00 am

Stop doing whatever the things are that piss them off?



auntblabby
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29 Oct 2013, 2:01 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
Stop doing whatever the things are that piss them off?

it is not that simple, when one cannot predict what will piss them off.



punkguy378
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29 Oct 2013, 2:48 am

This is the nature of getting to know someone. You never what is going to piss someone off. But there are plenty that would piss anybody off and you learn these things easily. I mean if you yell at someone you know that that would pretty much piss anybody off. But as far as personality traits or quirks the person does not know until they have been around you for awhile.

That is what stinks about seeking relationships. Half the time you feel like your wasting your precious time and you lose patience with having to go through the whole process to get the same result again. After awhile you say screw this I am staying single, forever. But then you get pulled right back into it again because you get lonely or your pissed because everyone you know has someone in their life. Then you do not even want to see anyone because you get resentful. At least that is how it is for me.

Seriously I am really starting to believe the old saying. "life is a b***h, and then you die". lol.



yellowtamarin
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29 Oct 2013, 3:01 am

auntblabby wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
Stop doing whatever the things are that piss them off?

it is not that simple, when one cannot predict what will piss them off.

Well if it's a different thing every time, and it happens not infrequently, then the two of you are clearly not compatible (or you have a lot of annoying behaviours that don't show themselves at first).

But otherwise, if you do something and she gets pissed off, stop doing that. If it's the same thing you are doing every time, then by stopping that behaviour you should reduce the chances of her getting pissed off at you.



punkguy378
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29 Oct 2013, 6:14 am

A lot of reasons why I am incompatible with woman is because of AS. As far as learning what to do and what not to do it always seems I take two steps forward and one step back.

I have pretty much given up on dating NT women.

I mean there is one thing that gets me all riled up and that is if a woman starts complaining that I need to be more of a man. I don't like it when someone jumps all over me and tells me what to do. I hate authority and I hate people that try to change me. I think I have oppositional defiance disorder or something. It is a serious problem for me that I would like to get worked out. It creates all kinds of strain on relationships, romantic or otherwise.

I am like a time bomb waiting to go off. I generally hold feelings in until it boils over and explodes. Not only that I blow things way, way out of proportion this was the main complaint from my last girlfriend. I obviously need a mitigating factor that will allow me to expel these feelings before they reach "critical mass." My reactions never seem proportionate to the crisis at hand.

A bunch of times I blew up on her because she failed to send me a message telling me she was busy and would not be able to talk later. We always talked in the middle of the night because of her schedule. That was also a problem for me because she refused to honor my request to talk earlier in the evening. It was always some excuse. So I then felt like she only talked to me when she did not have something going on. Which made me feel like I meant nothing to her. I mean the rest of her life is more important than me? Something is wrong with that picture. There needs to be some sacrifice. I would of sacrificed some of my time to talk to her because I cared about our relationship. And I really did not want to fight about anything. Which is what she always wanted from me. Sorry, but there are two people in a relationship, two! Not one but two!

Oh and she constantly wanted to prove she was right. she knew everything. Being aspie she was well versed in pretty much everything I talked to her about. She was kind of a genius. The thing was she would always stop me and say I do not want to go through this because i already know about it. So I am trying to say something and she is interrupting me in the middle of it to tell me to stop talking about it. Ugh! I need to follow completely through with what I am saying otherwise I get distressed and upset which invariably could lead down to meltdown territory. It is like a routine to me. I need to finish my thought without interruption.

The final straw was when she broke up with me and said I was whiny. So the break up was a pretty bad situation. A whole slew of messages that were hurtful and angry.

Honestly it was for the best that we ended it. It was a completely and utterly unhealthy relationship. Thank god its over. Finally. And to think i could of ended the insanity much much earlier. But no, I had to get to the point that she broke up with me. She even told me that this was the worst relationship she had ever been in. And she was my first! My first relationship was the other person's worst. Well that is just great! Congratulations on making me feel like crap!

And to top it all off she lead me on for 4 days before she got up the courage to end it. She was ignoring my messages and would make excuses that she was busy. Plus she broke up with me on facebook. She did not have the guts to tell me on the phone. This was all long distance and that is something I will never do again, have an LDR with someone who lives 900 miles away. I just could not trust her completely and the love was stunted because how can you be in love at such a distance. It was ludicrous and was bad judgment on my part. I was a fool.

I know I mentioned this already but it is such a "good" story (it was definitely made-up so yes it is a story alright). The day after she broke up I was stupid enough to try and talk to her again. She claimed that she just got engaged! She even had a picture of a hand (supposedly her hand) with an engagement ring on it. This is basically adding insult to injury. She cooked up some story to seal the deal so to speak. I cannot take you back because I am engaged. How convenient is that. I mean really. Gotta hand it to her the story was a whopper one among many she told. Thinking back I am pretty amused at the whole thing. I can only laugh now. why be upset she was a total joke!



Geekonychus
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29 Oct 2013, 9:12 am

10% more effort can yield 100% results.

Both partners need to be willing to at least attempt to understand the other in a relationship. It shouldn't be that much work.



billiscool
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29 Oct 2013, 9:36 am

meeting women is easy for me,but my problem is Im
terrible in the long run.women like me at first,but
I usually end up getting on their nerves.


lucky for me,I found a couple ladies that
are still my friends. so,that's a good thing
(in the last year)



Fnord
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29 Oct 2013, 10:11 am

How not to piss off women?

Leave them alone.


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MCalavera
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29 Oct 2013, 10:13 am

I initially misread the title as How not to piss on women.



JanuaryMan
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29 Oct 2013, 10:14 am

Fnord wrote:
How not to piss off women?

Leave them alone.


LOL this.

Also, you can't please everyone. The important thing is you don't piss off most people.
If it's girls you are specifically interested in that are getting pissed off, then there's something you're doing along the way that bothers them.
Do you introduce yourself the same way to each? Are all your friendships with women the same? Do you still speak about their bf's husbands as if they could do better? I remember you doing this a few months ago.



MadeUnderground
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29 Oct 2013, 10:23 am

punkguy378 wrote:
Seriously I am really starting to believe the old saying. "life is a b***h, and then you die". lol.


Life's not a b***h, life is a beautiful woman. You only call her a b***h cuz she won't let you get that p***y. Maybe she didn't feel y'all shared any similar interests. Or maybe you're just an a***hole who couldn't sweet talk the princess.



Sorry I had to. I love that song and any time I hear someone say life is a b***h, I have a tremendous impulsion to post that verse in response. :D



auntblabby
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29 Oct 2013, 1:19 pm

Fnord wrote:
How not to piss off women? Leave them alone.

QFT.