What to do?

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I have a dilemma. And I don't want any harsh words here, just in case.

So, as I've said before, I have a friend from elementary school whom I recently reconnected with. Trouble is, she is rather difficult to get ahold of. Why?
1) She is a preschool teacher, and is taking classes (for something else, I'm not privy to that) at the same time. She has a busy schedule as a result.
2) She says she doesn't bring her phone to work.

Without being overly-stalkerish, how can I ask her out? Oh, I am so aflutter! And how can I make it official with her, too? Cheers.

_________________
LIONS-STAMPEDERS-ELKS-ROUGHRIDERS-BLUE BOMBERS-TIGER-CATS-ARGONAUTS-REDBLACKS-ALOUETTES

The Canadian Football League - What We're Made Of

Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.

Every day is a gift- cherish it!

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."

Text her or send her a FB inbox and ask her. Tell her you know her schedule is busy but you'd like to get together and do something sometimes, maybe a meal out or a movie. Tell her to name the date and time and you'll treat her to dinner or a movie or both if she wants, that you'd love to hang out and catch up. Make it sound like that too, like it's casual, so she won't feel pressure. That way both of you can go out and if you like each other you can agree to another outing/date, but it's not as awkward as a first date with somebody you don't know well or haven't seen in a long time.

As for official, wait until you go out the first time and see how you both liked it and how it went and if she wants to go out again. I wouldn't worry about official with anybody until several months down the road.

Just text her first and see if she wants to go out and if so then when and where. One step at a time. If you get ahead of yourself you can end up coming across all wrong and I know from my own experience that doing that is never any good for anybody, especially the person that does it.

Leave a message for her and ask her to meet you for coffee sometime, whenever is convenient for her, just to catch up. Getting a coffee isn't a date, but it's a good lead in to ask for one after a nice conversation.

I'm just brimming with anticipation here, guys.

_________________
LIONS-STAMPEDERS-ELKS-ROUGHRIDERS-BLUE BOMBERS-TIGER-CATS-ARGONAUTS-REDBLACKS-ALOUETTES

The Canadian Football League - What We're Made Of

Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.

Every day is a gift- cherish it!

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."

How often should I ask, is the next Q?

_________________
LIONS-STAMPEDERS-ELKS-ROUGHRIDERS-BLUE BOMBERS-TIGER-CATS-ARGONAUTS-REDBLACKS-ALOUETTES

The Canadian Football League - What We're Made Of

Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.

Every day is a gift- cherish it!

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."

Well, if you've asked once and been turned down, then you've already reached the maximum number of opportunities to ask.

Then again, if she's said something along the lines of "Maybe, but my diary's very full at the moment", perhaps you could get back to her in a couple of weeks? I don't think that would seem too pushy.

If (on the other hand) she's said something like "I'll give you a call if an opening comes up" then you should go about your business, but not die of disappointment if she never calls at all.

However the situation is potentially more complex if you are trying to reach her by phone and her phone's never answered, always switched off, or always goes to answerphone. It could mean she is avoiding your calls (if she knows your number), doesn't answer unknown numbers (if she doesn't know your number), or is quite exceptionally busy (which is a realistic possibility). It could also mean you have an out-of-date phone number for her, but I'm presuming you know this isn't the case.

If you have been leaving voicemails for her on a frequent/regular basis and she hasn't got back to you, then perhaps you should consider the possibility that you're being cold-shouldered (possibly because she wasn't interested in the first place, and quite possibly because she has subsequently come to regard you as a bit 'stalkerish').

My own personal response in that situation would be to leave one last voicemail along the lines of:

"Well, I've been trying to get hold of you for ages, but no joy, so I'll stop hassling you. If you ever find the time to get back to me, that would be great, and we could discuss going out for that coffee some time. If not, then no harm done. Just in case, here's my number ..."

-- and then leave it at that and not ring her again. Ever. If you don't hear back from her, you have your answer.

Or if you're really determined not to take 'no' for an answer, you could guarantee your chances of coming to her attention by starting to hang around outside her place of employment, dressed entirely in black and carrying a rucksack containing a length of rope, a pair of handcuffs, a roll of ducktape and a balaclava. Chicks dig that s**t. Trust me.

So it's been two months and she hasn't found time yet?

I think she may have underestimated your characteristic persistency.

It's more a wtf huh.

I had hoped that the kiss-off: "Chicks dig thus: Trust me" clearly signalled a certain lack of sincerity.

I suppose this is a further example of being unable to anticipate all potential responses that might arise from members of the Differently-Amused community.

I'm not like one of the Desperate Housewives, if you get my drift.

_________________
LIONS-STAMPEDERS-ELKS-ROUGHRIDERS-BLUE BOMBERS-TIGER-CATS-ARGONAUTS-REDBLACKS-ALOUETTES

The Canadian Football League - What We're Made Of

Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.

Every day is a gift- cherish it!

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."

I'm sorry if I come across as desperate........ I just have pent-up frustration right now.

In fact, I think this a part of my OCD. I once called this one gal too much six years ago during the Christmas holiday (because I felt slighted over a friend of mine going over to see her GF then), and I feel the only way I can be successful is that I don't find a girl altogether.

No angry comments or snide remarks, please, just some helpful, caring advice. Thank you.

_________________
LIONS-STAMPEDERS-ELKS-ROUGHRIDERS-BLUE BOMBERS-TIGER-CATS-ARGONAUTS-REDBLACKS-ALOUETTES

The Canadian Football League - What We're Made Of

Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.

Every day is a gift- cherish it!

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."