Does he have a crush on me?

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I recently met someone through another friend of mine. We agreed to add one another on FB and had been talking on there since we connected really well when we first met. We also have been seeming to get together once a week and then he brings me home. Not only that, he has taken me to a few restaurants and paid for my meals and brought over some medicine when he found out that I was sick. Finally, he is offering to pick me up from certain social events if I need it.

At one of the restaurants on Friday, he hinted two things

1. He wanted to hold my hand
2. He wanted to spend some alone time with me at the restaurant rather than have other friends.

Although he says he doesn't and insists that I am his "Best friend", the way he is acting makes me wonder if he has a crush on me.

While it has been nice and I think he is super sweet, I don't have any type of crush on him myself and I am not in any mood to date at this time.

Do you think he has a crush? If so, how do I let him know in hinting that I am not interested?

when I liked a girl once I wanted to hold her hand, but she refused.

He has taken you to a few restaurants and paid for your meals? In his mind he already dates you so of course he has a crush on you.

While it's very nice, I don't really feel like I am ready to be in a relationship at this time.

Stop this now. For his sake. Don't allow it to go any further. He has already spent a lot of time and energy on you.

Awww.

Have you told him you only wanted friendship?

Yes, from your description he is almost certainly crushing on you. However...

That needed to be reiterated. To do otherwise moves it into the category of "leading someone on," which is big no-no. That causes pain to the one being led-on.


I wouldn't hint at it, as you suggest, Summer. Be up-front about it & be perfectly clear. You'll both benefit in the long run.

I'm sure starting this conversation has to be as hard as starting the one that goes "X, I think I like-like you...."

So it maybe this conversation looks something like:
"So-and-so, I'm kind of sensing that--and correct me if I'm wrong!--that maybe you might be interested in me romantically? Or am I reading the signals wrong? (Because I suck at that!)"

The conversation is very different if you're willing to give it a try to see how it goes.

Make sure you're both alone, in case he's on the spectrum, too. You don't want to risk humiliating the poor guy.

He might tell lies and deny that out of fear depending on tone of voice and body language.

Yeh, don't get him to admit his feelings, because that might make him feel more of a fool when he realises that you're not interested. I would just say to him that you hope you're both clear that this is friendship only. A good friendship, but still, will only ever be a friendship.

I think he is a super nice guy but just very lonely since he moved to the area and misses his other close friend. However, I am concerned that he is going to be chasing after me for the wrong reasons. I do want to remain casual friends though and invite him to group gatherings so that he can get introduced to my other friends.

Put that on your list of things to tell him.

No. You have no right to do this.

Pack that in.

If you're not interested, you're not interested.

Don't torment him by trying to salve your conscience by keeping him around like a lapdog, and introducing him like an exhibit to your friends so that they ostensibly inexplicably unanimously reject him.

You have no right to this.

Cut him loose. Don't keep him around as a trophy.

I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping him as a friend, as long as you make it very clear that is all you want. You must tell him, or it will be stringing him along.

He's already making himself clear - especially saying he wants to spend time alone with you and buying you meals. If you respect him, you should tell him that you perceive him to be romantically interested and you want him to know you don't feel that way. He may not take this well and may even deny his interest, but I think it's the honourable thing to do.

It does sound he likes you. Paying for dinner a couple of times, wanting to hold your hand.
Just tell him you having the feeling he may like you and you only like him has a friend.

Agree with the others, you've got to explicitly state that you are not, and will not, be interested in dating anyone (not just him), and if he's got chances or amorous feelings anywhere else he ought to go that route instead. Another tactful route would be to suggest other females (maybe not directly your immediate friends) that he might find interesting, who are also available, as that should get the hint across without being directly rejective of him. If he takes you out, casually point out other random/attractive women to him the entire time, encourage him to go talk to some.

From the slow-play method he's using, I would bet he's quite afraid of rejections, otherwise he wouldn't have best-friendzoned himself while simultaneously acting like he also might, plausibly, maybe, wants to date you, if it happened somehow. That's a fence-sitter move if I ever saw one, and guys only fence-sit when they are Aspie or otherwise socially awkward, or are terrified of rejection - otherwise it would be very obvious which type of relation he wants instead of the 50/50 best friends and maybe someday more sort of thing. This is also why it isn't the best plan to hook him up with an immediate friend, it doesn't get him far enough removed from your attractor beam (he may go out with your friend for quite some time just to get to see you more - I did exactly that for 7 years! and it was just a waste of everyone's time).

The other suggestions in here are also good, I have somewhat limited experience other than putting myself in the same fence-sitter 50/50 position basically every time, and what I'd have appreciated from the other participant(s) in my timid ploy(s).