So my GF cheated on me

Post Reply New Topic

Being awesome is a long, hard path But it really is the best and ultimately only option, and is good for things that go far beyond dating.

And seeing feminity as the negation of masculinity is a mistake. Those two actually overlap in plenty of things, and in your specific example, I believe a woman can, and should, be confident and assertive too. And one never knows, there was a time when I though I was confident and assertive when in fact I was not, and that was after improving (which I did, so you can imagine just how bad it was at the very beginning ) And I'm not quite there yet, so there.

^ Your doctor misdiagnosed you, Shatbat.

?

I think Boo was implying if you know and understand this much that you can't really be aspie considering your age and all. A classic Boo comment consisting of equal parts insult and compliment.

Shat is right PM. There is a lot of overlap, it's just that they have a tendency to express themselves in different ways. The fallacy that femininity is the complete opposite of masculinity comes from the people who only value masculinity and therefore must devalue the other in order to judge them by their standards because they lack the ability to understand or accept it.

I'd normally be inclined to believe it as well, and still partially do, but she was steadily escalating things...it gives credence to her telling the truth about wanting to take things slowly. Either way, it's a moot point anyhow. What's ironic is that this entire time, this chick that's really into BDSM has been wanting to sleep with me, but I was telling her no cause I was in a relationship. So if my GF was wanting something "bestial", I was more than happy to tie her up or something, sheesh...

Well then, femininity is devalued most by those who purport to embody it the most, or admire it the most.

In many cases that is correct. Most people really don't understand it at all. Many of those who claim to be it only know it at a shallow superficial level or wear it like you do a mask - mostly just the trappings that people associate with it. Not many manage to understand what it is in itself at a deep level - without needing to compare it to something else.

And most of all - those who do understand it aren't going to judge you or anyone else if it's not you, if you are something else, not overtly inclined to it or express it in different ways than what is considered socially or culturally acceptable.

Yes, exactly.

And I am not saying that just based on this one post but based on many of his posts.

Shatbat, I've read once in what I recall a reputable source (can't find the source) that IQ-gifted boys are so often mistaken to be diagnosed as aspies (even by specialists) as they exhibit many aspie-like traits especially at young age but they are not really aspies - they're simply IQ-gifted or genius NT little boys/teens, those latter can be socially odd but they're not socially inept.

Based on the personal info you provided in your posts on WP, I can tell that you're NOT in any shape or form socially inept, and AS by definition is chronic social ineptness + other symptoms.

I might have believed your diagnosis if you were 40 years old, I would have thought it's maybe life experience gave you social wisdom and eased your social ineptness and made you set a foot in relationships , yes people often progress with age.... but at age 20 you've already almost mastered relationships, interaction with women, body language and gathered that much social wisdom and know-how (??!) which even some NTs struggle with at this age; yeah right, sorry but I am not buying your doctor's diagnoses whoever he is.

You're kidding, right?

Who the hell are any of you to doubt someones diagnosis? Some of us do OK at pretending we're socially adept on good days (which I haven't had in a while...have they found a cure yet?).

He gathers a lot of knowledge, doesn't mean he can apply it.

Shat was diagnosed later, not as a child.

The reason he has gotten so far is because he chooses to admit his flaws and work on them. He is smart enough to pay attention and figure these things out as much as possible by watching and then asking other people questions (a lot).

Instead of making assumptions or judgements, most of the time he asks questions. More importantly, he's learned to ask the right questions. And then proceed to learn from them by practical experience where possible. Rinse and repeat.

He committed to trying to be the best version of himself that he can be, and he's been doing it for a few years now. Which as I'm sure he can tell you isn't always easy or fun but he persists with it. He does experience the majority of AS symptoms even though he is in the mild category - especially when it comes to procrastination, motivation and productivity issues.

I've gotta say that your post does come of as invalidating.
And I'm sure he'll answer you himself when he wakes up.

That's why I don't believe his diagnosis, *because* there's no cure for it. And Shatbat is doing socially ok all the time according to his posts so far, not just some good days.

I am not gonna repeat why I think that, and my questioning isn't a personal insult against Shatbat, I am simply not buying his doctor's assessment. Period.

This type of knowledge can only be gathered by experience.

He's still nowhere near the level of his peers in terms of practical experiences and results. Just because he's not in the moderate to severe category as many on here are, doesn't mean he isn't in the moderate to mild category and has just put in a lot more damn effort than most people are willing to.

If AS/Autism is that mild then it's not AS/Autism.

Being Autistic doesn't mean you can't learn, it just means you have a harder time than others learning.

I can see why a lot of Autistics give up. I spend most nights praying for a cure.