why men don't chase rich women

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Read up the David Buss study on female vs male (what each prioritizes in the other). Essentially the study covered cultures world wide, from extremely poor and undeveloped villages in the middle of Africa to people in large cities in 1st world countries...of all economic and social status. Regardless of culture, women always sought the male with better resources as priority, looks/personality came after. Males sought looks/beauty first, everything else after.

People are shallow self obsessed beings. No matter how you want to give yourself a moral high ground the truth is you won't be asking out the superbly charming/handsome yet also superbly homeless guy asking for money around the corner. You're far more likely to go out with the decent looking PhD guy that drives that new high end Mercedes. 'tis how things are.

Truth spoken. Many people deny it, but the evidence is there for all to see.

I thought I had a dim view of other people, but you... you've got me beat in that category. The question is, are you going to do anything to work on it?

I see women with men that don't make alot of money.

Is it ingrained in our genes or is it ingrained in our brains due to what society and their advertisments push out?

Get an expensive car and you can have all of these chicks so sayeth the magazines.


Mind reads: Women only want rich men. Women are materialistic. I can't have a woman like this unless I get this car!
In the man's mind, this rule applies to all women. He doesn't rule out that not all women are the same. Men turn their hatred onto other women. Those shallow b*****s! Meanwhile, your everyday woman is baffled thinking wtf is this man going on about? I just want someone who makes me feel good and treats me right with some chemistry.



Women. They see nothing but very thin women photoshopped to have no flaws on their skin. They are told your man is cheating on you no matter what. If he does something nice for you, he's cheating! Most women turn to magazines when they aren't feeling good about themselves only to find the magazines make them feel worse in the end without them even realizing it.

[img][800:1024]http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1084382/thumbs/o-MICHAEL-KORS-BEAUTY-LINE-facebook.jpg[/img]


Woman's mind reads: I'm ugly, I'll never be pretty enough. I better buy these beauty supplies and focus on the outside. So they buy it but for f***s sakes! I still look nothing like that supermodel! The mind doesn't see the photoshopping. No men read this crap. The mind doesn't get that. Women turn their hatred onto themselves and other women. Since all women are now a threat of stealing your man, the woman's mind doesn't get that not all women are out to steal men or detract from your mating potential. If you were cheated on, it's your fault because you didn't buy this expensive purse! If you get this purse it will let other women know your relationship is the real deal and to back off of your man!





http://jezebel.com/how-to-use-your-purs ... -925922717


Now read that link with the article. Can anyone else see the BS they are attempting? Most anyone these days throws in "research shows" or "science" to back up their twisted words. It doesn't mean it's actual science though, just junk social babble science. My BS meter is flying through the freaking ceiling on this one. What it's really trying to accomplish is getting more women to buy expensive purses rather than what women are doing already. Most people are so influenced by these articles that they follow suit. Sorry but if a man's going to cheat, your purse won't save you. If a woman wants your boyfriend or husband, she's not going to look at your purse and think "DAYUM, I better leave this couple alone".




^$10,000 purse. Sorry but if I have $10,000 dollars, it's not going to purses.

There's a lot more to it. Programmer has no direct control of autonomous robot. No matter how hard he tries to write perfect software, there will always be a situation where a robot won't do what he's supposed to do. In a similar way genes don't control you. It's you, who chooses a man for his fighting skills (or looks, or money). Genes have only one purpose, it's to replicate. They don't care if you have a happy relationship or not. We can reason and we can make decisions which are right for us. Don't blame genes for what you do. Obviously my post isn't directed to hale_bopp or any one in particular.

I'm sorry to say but this is largely true. It's not like they go up to a guy thinking: this guy better have a higher income than me! but a part of dating from the guy's side is impressing the girl. If you have a less prestigious job/car/clothes/(body type)/family/general achievements you cannot fulfill your social role and continue to later stages of the relationship.

I have only been aware of being open flirted with by a girl pursuing me 4 times. In each time I had done something physically impressive: Disarmed a guy with a knife, pulling the girl out of the path of a strobe light that was going to trigger an epileptic seizure, humiliating a guy who was teasing another classmate, getting in a fight with a guy over a political dispute and picking him up and throwing him bodily over a fence. After each of these incidents I was approached by girls who were clearly interested in me. I have never been approached out of the blue.

My buddy in high school was. About 3 months after he started taking steroids a girl came up to him unprompted and started massaging his shoulders and they dated for about 6 months.

Another buddy started taking steroids and had three girlfriends in succession after never having had a date before.

My best friend is a girl and has confided to me that if her boyfriend tries to propose with a ring worth less than 10,000$ she will refuse and possibly dump him.. they have been dating for 10 years. (both have or are working on advanced degrees as well though.)

A girl came to my college specifically to date one of the software engineering students, and got and SE degree herself. She got gainful employment, he did not. Only 2 years after college dumped him.

I don't mean to say that all girls think/ act this way but as a generalization it applies to the average girl, or at least in my experience. The number of girls who will date anyone who is a musician, or an artist etc etc is also a testament to this. They want someone who is special and talented. Music and art give someone value, as compared to money and position. Thats the duel problem with the "women want money/power" contention is that they do <BUT!> They also SHOULD want their mate to have value. The previous argument that "well I don't see them dating the handsome homeless man" is quite valid because clearly mr. homeless comes with a lot of problems he can't solve himself. Dating someone with the intention to solve their problems to no benefit to yourself is not logical.

The same thing I tell people when going to interviews. The interviewer doesn't give a damn who you are or what your needs are. They care how you can provide value to their company. Once you prove that you are valuable, only then will they worry about maintaining their investment in you. The same thing applies to dating: there is no "who you are" outside of the value you create for others. Do you create entertainment? Happiness? Comfort? Monetaty value? Social equity? What do they have to gain from having a relationship with you? What do you have to gain from having a relationship with them? Sex has no value because you can have sex with literally anyone, it is transferable and not rare. The lack of scarcity makes it worthless. That is part of the reason that "Looks" are of limited value. They set a social "price floor" but otherwise serve little purpose in the long term. There is no ROI on looks. After you have had sex a few (or few hundred) times you have obtained the full value of someone else's looks and hit diminishing returns.

My goal when dating is to find someone that "makes me a better person." That seems like a generic but it's not. I specifically want someone who will be discontented with my flaws, but rather than mulling about them will help me to overcome them. If I'm not doing work that needs to be done, I need to be told to do it and after that initial push my self-motivation will kick in. If I'm antisocial, obsessive, self-defeating etc all I need is someone to say: stop that. From there I can do the rest myself. The problem, is that is a lot of effort for someone else and what do they get for it? A bad pun now and again? Hardly seems fair.

No the average person is more likely to go out with an average joe on an average income. Not everything can be quantified in extremes. Few people go out with the Mercedes dude. Where do you people live? I see my friends and neighbors with other regular people. Yes there are shallow people out there, I don't deny that. but not everyone is like that. It's not just me that isn't like that. The men who are not high earners driving Mercedes need to focus on the other regular women. Yes, I wouldn't go out with a man who didn't have the capability to earn a living. I can do it, I can get up everyday and go to work and I don't see why my partner wouldn't be able to do that too. I can support myself and I want a partner on an equal level as me intellectually. That's not the same as chasing an executive in a flash car. I don't care what car a guy drives. Mine is a bit rusty, but it gets me from A to B.

Guys stop focussing on shallow women and what they want. It bears no relevance to your life. Look for someone on your level.

P.S. Most of these social researchers are not portraying an accurate picture and they can sit there and put out whatever statistics they want to backup their already pre-exisiting biased opinions. Do take it with a grain of salt. All you have to do is use your own eyes and look at people. Has anyone here been approached by one of these "researchers" for their studies? My guess is no or maybe one or two. They are just opinions that they try to toss out as fact to keep you thinking how they want you to think.

I guess the problem is that most of us people on the spectrum aren't even average.

The justification some use is "but women won't want me because I'm not the centre of attention, I don't have a fast car and a high powered job."

No that's taking it to an extreme. We don't do small talk like regular people, we may not even have a job, we may not be able to afford a car because we don't have a job. That's simply below average. A regular joe who can sort of talk to the girl he likes without inadvertantly offending her, who has a job doing a boring office thing or just a regular handyman and has a little van or hatchback that he goes about it is what most regular women end up with. You see it on the streets outside every day. A woman just wants an average man on her level. Some dream of the fast car man or the sports celebrity or pop star, but the majority of people don't end up with the fantasy partner, they end up with a real person doing a real everyday job.

Why would she go out with someone who was at the same stage she was at when she was 15? Seriously? Why would she? What would she get from that emotionally?

Look I'm alone too for my below average social skills even though I tick the owning a car and having a job boxes, it's my interpersonal skills that make me below average and I accept that.

I do genuinely believe the problems men here tell us they have and I feel empathy because I am alone too, but this whole I don't own a BMW so no one will love me line of reasoning is extreme and not actually true for the majority of people you meet.

Agree with this statement.

I knew a girl who dumped her bf because he got her a shirt as a birthday gift (and it was the first gift), the guy even came from another country to see her. She still loves him and cries when she thinks of him but she can't forgive him for his cheap gift. Love conquers all? Apparently not always.

No guy would dump his gf over a silly reason like that.

To be totally honest, the more I befriend/date women, the more I get shocked over incidents like that.

I also relate to the steroid phenomena, the most desired guys at the gym I attend (girls obviously appraoch them), are the same guys who take products such as steroids, GH, testosterone injections. Those girls never know that but these guys always expose their secrets in guys-only conversations and they always advice a physically "weakling'' like me to take what they take, I am sure you met a lot of such guys.

And I only got dates and some sexual experience (from meeting people on dating sites) after becoming fit (not on any chems).

TheygoMew, you are still understanding the media influence the opposite way. Media doesn't create instincts, it just detects them in the human nature and exploits them with whatever measures to gain profit.

This is the rule of marketing , first the demand is created among consumer , then the producer analyzes it , the product is then created and sold back to the customer , the need or demand is always created within the customer , and talking about advertisements , if the producer will not advertise it then the sales will get zero and if such things starts then the whole world economy will get disturbed terribly . One cannot blame the advertisements for investing money in a product . It's the customers choice.

Creates need? No, exploits? Yes.

your friend was probably brought up to believe all sorts of things about men that are not true - most people are brought up with false beliefs and it's very difficult to go against what you believe to be true. For example, she may believe that the cheap gift is a sign of some serious character flaw in that guy and would mean that down the line he would be cheap when it came down to looking after her and her kids. I am not saying that's still not shallow (it is) but that is the kind of reasoning I grew up around (and couldn't wait to escape from). Sadly, most people are still living in the dark ages where men provide for women and women give men sex. Except it's not like that at all, so people are operating on conflicting principles all the time. No wonder only the very poor are happy.

I think that marketing exploits desire rather than needs. The problem is alot of people can't distinguish between real needs and wants. It's a pity.

I thought this was a good article in the guardian

A man's perspective on engagement rings

Not sure if I've posted this before. I've always said that I wouldn't want an engagement ring and I've been villified by other women for saying it. Apparently I'll "change my mind"

It wasn't until I discovered ASD and thought that I may be on it and considered what it means to be NT, that I started to understand why all these women kept telling me my whole life what I will think and feel (or should think and feel) just 'given time'. Of course, that's how it works for them because the diamonds are tenders for the social standing. (ditto cars, houses etc.) and the NT world is all about hierarchy and the misery of not being exactly where you would like to be on the big ladder of life. Monkeys, the lot of them.

Noticed how vile some of the female commentors below?

Some men opposed to him but not as vile and insulting.

The ring marketing was a big success because it just hits a female nature to the core: to find a potential provider, and her need to shows off in front of her friends and family (not sure what the evolutionary explanation for the latter tho). It also hits the male nature in the core: To provide.

The ring simply became a reflection of these natures, it shows how much a man is willing to spend over her, his "provider" value. The more pricey, the more he is willing to spend for her.

DeBeer simply exploited human intincts.