I just had my worst first date ever...and feel good!

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Brianruns10
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29 Dec 2013, 4:21 pm

So I met another OKC date today. She seemed via text and messaging to be really enthusiastic about meeting, but then when we did, at a local art museum, she seemed completely disinterested and rather harried. Her answers were short and terse, and everything I said, she dismissed almost like she was playing the role of the contrarian...like I mentioned how, even though I wasn't religious, I had an admiration for religious and devotional works of art, to which she replied, "Ugh, those works drive me nuts."

Pretty much the whole date was like that, over coffee, and then as we walked through the museum, even though she seemed totally disinterested in looking at anything (and the thing is, she is the one who suggested the museum to begin with!). And then it all ended...30 minutes later when she said, "Well I'm going to head out," and then turned and walked away without a hug or even a handshake or a smile.

I'm sure there was maybe something going on that I didn't know, and maybe she should've just canceled, but to her credit she didn't. I don't know.

I should've been mad. A few years ago, or maybe even a few months ago, I'd have been mad. But instead I felt a curious calm. like, "Okay, that was about as bad as a date could go." And it was like, I've now experienced just about the worst as far as dating can go,l and I know it wasn't me...it was definitely the other person.

I did my best. I know that. I dressed well, and I went in with a positive attitude and listened to her and was really interested in her work and there just wasn't a thing I could do.

Tonight i go to a classic film screening, by myself, but with the hopes maybe I'll meet someone there.

BR



Willard
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29 Dec 2013, 4:31 pm

Be sure you send her a Thank-You note and a can of Raid later, to kill that bug up her ass. :roll:

You should feel like you dodged a bullet. You could have ended up having to spend the whole evening with that sourpuss.

OTOH, if that's the worst first date you've ever had, you've been very lucky so far. :D They can get much, much worse than that. :twisted:



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29 Dec 2013, 4:48 pm

Now you have a perplexing story to tell your next date.



Brianruns10
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29 Dec 2013, 5:04 pm

Willard wrote:
OTOH, if that's the worst first date you've ever had, you've been very lucky so far. :D They can get much, much worse than that. :twisted:


Maybe I shouldn't have called it the worst first date. Oh sure there can be worse dates, like having an accident or a wallet stolen. But that's circumstantial. Heck, I had a date throw up in front of me. But she was still very nice, and I was sympathetic.

But in terms of the actual person, this was the worst, because I've never been on a date with someone who was just so unpleasant. I was halfway tempted to ask, "Are you alright? Because you seem like you don't want to be here." But I don't like to be that confrontational. I just assumed she wasn't having it that day, or had something that was weighing on her mind, and left it at that.

Needless to say I won't be wasting any more of my time on her.



The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Dec 2013, 5:11 pm

Now you know why she ended up using okcupid.



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29 Dec 2013, 5:48 pm

Sounds like it wasn't pleasant, but 30 mins in which you find out there's no attraction, and she clearly communicated that to you isn't a total waste. Lucky it wasn't a few hours. Just one to cross off your list, tried, didn't work,... no harm done. The alternative, where she was 'nice' and gave you the wrong impression, wouldn't have been helpful either.

Sounds like you handled it well - you don't take it personally if the chemistry just wasn't there, you just move on.


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29 Dec 2013, 6:21 pm

Are you sure you were the Aspie on this date? :lol: Sounds like she has much greater social difficulties than you do..


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NorthPark
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29 Dec 2013, 6:27 pm

Well, at least you know you two won't be able to work it out.

Keep huntin' !


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29 Dec 2013, 8:15 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Are you sure you were the Aspie on this date? :lol: Sounds like she has much greater social difficulties than you do..


That's what I was gonna say. Think positive, at least in this experiment, you felt as a NT feels. :P

Curiosity, she knew you were an Aspie? And she sent a msg after that?


Well, from what you said you did nothing wrong, so do not get discouraged and go to the next meeting


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hale_bopp
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30 Dec 2013, 3:13 am

The way she handled that was immature.



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30 Dec 2013, 10:38 am

Brianruns10 wrote:
So I met another OKC date today. She seemed via text and messaging to be really enthusiastic about meeting, but then when we did, at a local art museum, she seemed completely disinterested and rather harried. Her answers were short and terse, and everything I said, she dismissed almost like she was playing the role of the contrarian...like I mentioned how, even though I wasn't religious, I had an admiration for religious and devotional works of art, to which she replied, "Ugh, those works drive me nuts."

Pretty much the whole date was like that, over coffee, and then as we walked through the museum, even though she seemed totally disinterested in looking at anything (and the thing is, she is the one who suggested the museum to begin with!). And then it all ended...30 minutes later when she said, "Well I'm going to head out," and then turned and walked away without a hug or even a handshake or a smile.

I'm sure there was maybe something going on that I didn't know, and maybe she should've just canceled, but to her credit she didn't. I don't know.

I should've been mad. A few years ago, or maybe even a few months ago, I'd have been mad. But instead I felt a curious calm. like, "Okay, that was about as bad as a date could go." And it was like, I've now experienced just about the worst as far as dating can go,l and I know it wasn't me...it was definitely the other person.

I did my best. I know that. I dressed well, and I went in with a positive attitude and listened to her and was really interested in her work and there just wasn't a thing I could do.

Tonight i go to a classic film screening, by myself, but with the hopes maybe I'll meet someone there.

BR


Awesome! Congrats :)



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30 Dec 2013, 5:16 pm

what a waste of your time. she sounds like quite a loser.
better luck next time!



Merle
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01 Jan 2014, 2:59 am

Sounds like you weren't what she was expecting when you met.

hale_bopp wrote:
The way she handled that was immature.


^^ This.

In management, we call it "fake it to make it" so she should have acted pleasant and at the end, just gone off on her merry way. Or just cut the date short.



hale_bopp
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01 Jan 2014, 3:56 am

Merle wrote:
Sounds like you weren't what she was expecting when you met.

hale_bopp wrote:
The way she handled that was immature.


^^ This.

In management, we call it "fake it to make it" so she should have acted pleasant and at the end, just gone off on her merry way. Or just cut the date short.


It's simply manners to at least be pleasant to someone whether they meet your "needs" or not. You don't have to talk to them again. There was no excuse for that behaviour unless he showed her fake photos or listed a fake height or something.

I know exactly what happened here, and Merle is correct. Hence my reply of "The way she handled that was immature".



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01 Jan 2014, 10:22 am

I am guessing she turned up, and they OP appeared obviously autistic which some people take as a personal affront, like you've been born autistic specifically to irritate them.

That would explain why she didn't just leave (can't be too horrible to the disabled) but at the same time why she behaved like a maroon.



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01 Jan 2014, 4:40 pm

It can be worse. Trust me. I won't go into my worst date ever, with a guy named "Buck", but it was pretty bad. But, it's not your fault the girl was an as*hole, just like it wasn't my fault that Buck was an as*hole. People like that are meant to probably die alone, or in his case, in prison, alone. (I don't know if he ever went away or not, but I'd lay odds that he did).

Forget that girl. She will find somebody eventually to make miserable. Be glad you escaped.


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