Rejected and haven't even met yet

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Wind
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30 Mar 2014, 3:52 pm

To cut a long story short, or perhaps the bit that doesn't really matter, my last relationship was 4 years ago. Every girl I meet, not down to my own fault, wants to play games with me and decide to go off with their ex, or some new person.

I tried dating sites for years, nothing.

I decided to basically give up.

There was a lesbian website on my Facebook feed advertised, where you usually see all the weird adverts, so I clicked on it.
Signed up to said lesbian website.
There was only 1 person in my area on that website, without a picture, so I messaged her anyway.

We have been E-mailing now for just under a month, at almost 200 E-mails between us. She seems happy to keep E-mailing me, we have something to talk about, she asks me questions about my interests, etc. nothing wrong there.
I had previously invited her to my birthday meal next weekend, so we have the chance to meet up. She seemed happy to come.
I asked her if it was possible to see a picture so I knew what she looked like when we met, and she sent one.

Wow, if she's the real deal, she was so hot and breathtaking. How on earth could she be lesbian?
I told her she looked pretty.

Anyways, I returned a picture, even though I had one on my profile anyway, and all she had to say was "you look nice"

So yeah, attraction is not mutual, and we haven't even met yet. I feel a little crushed.

Every time I like someone, they never like me back.

I am just not attractive enough, and too Aspie for these people. :(

I'm stopping myself from crying at the moment because I feel embarrassed for being attracted to a picture of someone and a bunch of E-mails, but I wanted to meet her and see how it goes.

I guess I can still be her friend if she wants to be friends after meeting up (if she does) but I'm just fed up of getting rejected.

I've decided to just give up on love. It hurts too much.


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886
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30 Mar 2014, 4:35 pm

Wind wrote:
and all she had to say was "you look nice"

So yeah, attraction is not mutual


i don't get it :?


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Wind
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30 Mar 2014, 4:57 pm

When someone says you look nice, it's to be polite. It's not really a compliment. My friends say I look nice, that's the point.

The ATTRACTION is not mutual. She does not find me attractive, she thinks I just looks "nice".


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I have ASD, ADHD, Hypermobility Syndrome.


delaSHANE
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30 Mar 2014, 4:59 pm

Hi Wind, "you look nice" is a positive response to your photo. May I ask you what it is about her comment that causes you to think otherwise?Do you think that she no longer has an interest in you, or joining you for your birthday celebration? Don't give up. She may feel differently than the way you have interpreted her message. I do understand what you are feeling in terms of your post, in it's entirety. Try not to feel embarrassed about developing feelings through email. Depending on the nature of your correspondence, it is normal for the chemicals in your brain to cause you to experience very positive feelings for the other person. You are having a normal reaction to what has transpired between you. It can happen just as easily, through writing, as it would being in the physical presence of another.

Happy Birthday to you!

Edit: Sorry, we posted over each other, therefore, disregard my question, as you have answered it. There is always a possibility that she does not mean "you look nice" the same way you are interpreting it. I hope things go well. . .



Last edited by delaSHANE on 30 Mar 2014, 5:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

spongy
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30 Mar 2014, 5:00 pm

Wind wrote:
When someone says you look nice, it's to be polite. It's not really a compliment. My friends say I look nice, that's the point.

The ATTRACTION is not mutual. She does not find me attractive, she thinks I just looks "nice".


Unless your appearance differs a lot from the original profile picture she liked what she saw at the beginning and that is why you kept messaging back and forth.

The you look nice was probably her being unsure of how to reply to your picture since she had seen one already.



onewithstrange
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30 Mar 2014, 5:02 pm

I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. Saying you look nice isn't necessarily a rejection. Meet up first and gauge her reaction from that.


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Wind
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30 Mar 2014, 5:09 pm

I feel like I'm out of her league. She is genuinely a beauty.

Just have to find out if she's the real deal now. Could be a 40 year old Nigerian man for all I know, looking to invest his money in me for a charge of $1000! :lol:

Thank you for the birthday wishes, my birthday is on Wednesday, the meal is on Saturday with some of my friends :)


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The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Mar 2014, 5:15 pm

Are you bi? If yes then switch to males.

Every bi girl I knew in real life told me that girls are more complicated and hurtful than guys; I find their testimonies to be the most credible. And they often end up with guys.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 30 Mar 2014, 5:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

delaSHANE
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30 Mar 2014, 5:16 pm

Wind wrote:
I feel like I'm out of her league. She is genuinely a beauty.

Just have to find out if she's the real deal now. Could be a 40 year old Nigerian man for all I know, looking to invest his money in me for a charge of $1000! :lol:

Thank you for the birthday wishes, my birthday is on Wednesday, the meal is on Saturday with some of my friends :)


Have a great celebration! FYI, there are some of us who do not even consider a person's physical appearance, when developing an attraction to them. And, perhaps you are even more beautiful than you perceive yourself, to be. Best wishes to you!



Wind
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30 Mar 2014, 5:20 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Are you bi? If yes then switch to males.

Every bi girl I knew in real life told me that girls are more complicated and hurtful than guys; I find their testimonies to be the most credible. And they often end up with guys.


Bi girls go with guys in the end because they are not truly bisexual. You don't get to pick and choose who you're attracted to.

Girl x girl, guy x guy, girl x guy, they will always be just as emotional as the next.

I have been treated worse by males in the past, than females. At least females only emotionally abuse me. :(

I am lesbian for the record.


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Your Aspie score: 187 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 25 of 200
AQ: 43
Empathy Quotient: 8
I have ASD, ADHD, Hypermobility Syndrome.


The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Mar 2014, 5:25 pm

Honestly I've never met a girl that blindly, I always speak with them earlier on skype or some app, at least just by voice.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 30 Mar 2014, 5:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Wind
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30 Mar 2014, 5:25 pm

delaSHANE wrote:
Wind wrote:
I feel like I'm out of her league. She is genuinely a beauty.

Just have to find out if she's the real deal now. Could be a 40 year old Nigerian man for all I know, looking to invest his money in me for a charge of $1000! :lol:

Thank you for the birthday wishes, my birthday is on Wednesday, the meal is on Saturday with some of my friends :)


Have a great celebration! FYI, there are some of us who do not even consider a person's physical appearance, when developing an attraction to them. And, perhaps you are even more beautiful than you perceive yourself, to be. Best wishes to you!


Thank you. I'm going to my favourite restaurant, and then sharing a hotel room with my friends coming from slightly long distance, so it should be fun. Shame I have no interest in alcohol, maybe it could be even more fun, but I find I have more than enough fun without alcohol.


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I have ASD, ADHD, Hypermobility Syndrome.


Wind
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30 Mar 2014, 5:28 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Honestly I never met a girl that blindly, I always speak with them earlier on skype or some app, at least just by voice.


I've met lots of people on the internet blindly. I have used the internet too much every day of my life ever since I was about 9, so I can spot a weird guy from a genuine person quite easily. Even really good actors can't get past my internet experience :lol: Probably a good thing I'm a recluse, at least I know how to detect a bad apple on the internet!


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The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Mar 2014, 5:30 pm

Wind wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Are you bi? If yes then switch to males.

Every bi girl I knew in real life told me that girls are more complicated and hurtful than guys; I find their testimonies to be the most credible. And they often end up with guys.


Bi girls go with guys in the end because they are not truly bisexual. You don't get to pick and choose who you're attracted to.

Girl x girl, guy x guy, girl x guy, they will always be just as emotional as the next.

I have been treated worse by males in the past, than females. At least females only emotionally abuse me. :(

I am lesbian for the record.


Male bullies are worse because they often use both ways of abuse.

But I don't think you've been in relationship with a male.

And what do you mean they are not truly bi? If they are attracted to both genders then they're bi.
But they end up going for guys after several rejections and awkwardness from girls; they just find guys easier (their own words).



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 30 Mar 2014, 5:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

delaSHANE
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30 Mar 2014, 5:34 pm

Wind wrote:
delaSHANE wrote:
Wind wrote:
I feel like I'm out of her league. She is genuinely a beauty.

Just have to find out if she's the real deal now. Could be a 40 year old Nigerian man for all I know, looking to invest his money in me for a charge of $1000! :lol:

Thank you for the birthday wishes, my birthday is on Wednesday, the meal is on Saturday with some of my friends :)


Have a great celebration! FYI, there are some of us who do not even consider a person's physical appearance, when developing an attraction to them. And, perhaps you are even more beautiful than you perceive yourself, to be. Best wishes to you!


Thank you. I'm going to my favourite restaurant, and then sharing a hotel room with my friends coming from slightly long distance, so it should be fun. Shame I have no interest in alcohol, maybe it could be even more fun, but I find I have more than enough fun without alcohol.


That sounds like such a nice plan and so much fun! (Alcohol doesn't make things "more fun", by the way). Enjoy!



Wind
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30 Mar 2014, 5:42 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Wind wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Are you bi? If yes then switch to males.

Every bi girl I knew in real life told me that girls are more complicated and hurtful than guys; I find their testimonies to be the most credible. And they often end up with guys.


Bi girls go with guys in the end because they are not truly bisexual. You don't get to pick and choose who you're attracted to.

Girl x girl, guy x guy, girl x guy, they will always be just as emotional as the next.

I have been treated worse by males in the past, than females. At least females only emotionally abuse me. :(

I am lesbian for the record.


Male bullies are worse because they often use both ways of abuse.

But I don't think you've been in relationship with a male.

And what do you mean they are not truly bi? If they are attracted to both genders then they're bi.
But they end up going for guys after several rejections and awkwardness from girls; they just find guys easier (their own words).


Ummm, I HAVE been in a relationship with a male, before I discovered I was lesbian at 18 and have not been in a heterosexual relationship since.

What awful judgement to assume that of me just because I identify as lesbian. I thought better of you :(


_________________
Your Aspie score: 187 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 25 of 200
AQ: 43
Empathy Quotient: 8
I have ASD, ADHD, Hypermobility Syndrome.