What happens if you hide your Asperger's?

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Everyone keeps saying that it's best to tell NT partners about having Asperger's syndrome. What actually happens when you hide it?

You can't really hide it from a partner who is NT, IMO. NTs just know when something is off. And if you did manage to hide it, they'd be angry over things you did that they took as intentionally obnoxious that weren't. And if you have AS and try to hide it from yourself you'll get stuck trying to act NT, and no matter how good you get, you'll never feel quite real pretending and I don't think fool the NTs either.

No, most people can sense that something is not normal.

You might be able to wear a mask but you will only manage to keep it on for so long before it becomes emotionally and physically draining. Intense gazes, odd body language and speech are indicators that tend to give me away as different.

It is time to answer a question with a question. What happens when you have it, and never knew. You get comments from others like "WOW! That was amazing". And "how did you do that"? Than you get "what is wrong with him". And "that guy is really strange". There's your answer. I do hide it. In plain view. Nobody knows unless I tell them. Since about 25% of the population has a "mental illness" of somekind, people figure out that I am one of them, they just never get it right. I usually just leave them confused, in wonder.

They might think you're stupid or don't ever listen and they may find you callous and an ass. They might think you're shy or rude or prefer to be alone. They could think you're ret*d or slow. They could think lots of things about you.

Oops didn't realize this was in the L&D section. I saw this from the homepage of this forum. Your partner could misread you and think you don't really love them or care or think you don't have empathy or think you're selfish and only think of yourself. I don't think you can really hide it no matter how mild you have it because it will come out at some point, especially when you decide to live together.

The autistic spectrum is very wide. Consequently,
some people can pass as just intense and shy. For
such individuals it might be counter productive
to disclose too early to those they do not trust.

We are all different within the difference of autism.

The autistic spectrum is very wide. Consequently,
some people can pass as just intense and shy. For
such individuals it might be counter productive
to disclose too early to those they do not trust.

We are all different within the difference of autism.

You feel absolutely terrible about yourself, and you eventually regret it later on. That's what happened to me when I went through my "denial" phase from the ages of 12-16.

If you are not officially diagnosed by a doctor then tell no one.

Because they're gonna think you're psychologically wrong or a Münchausen syndrome case (or they would simply as commonly know: Malade imaginaire or imaginary disorder), and you wouldn't have any tangible proof to prove otherwise. And the more you argue to prove your point without a diagnosis the more they think it's all in your head.

It's way much better to let them assume that you're shy, odd, different, timid or socially awkward than to make them think you're a Münchausen or psychologically crazy in the head. I am talking out of experience.

None of my few current friends know that I suspect having it, nor any of the ladies I've dated, and I am not planning to tell anyone soon - most said I am "bit different" but that's fine for me.

And hey, they're right, there's no way to be 100% sure of having a mild autism unless you get officially diagnosed. If you're planning to tell your boyfriend, then get an official diagnosis first from a reputable specialist because you won't sound credible without it.

I'm not dating anyone right now. I'm just thinking about a hypothetical relationship. I was diagnosed when I was a kid, but I don't believe the autism label accurately describes me. Even if I am autistic, most people will assume things that just don't apply to me. This happens a lot to in school because the teachers are required to know. My music teacher doesn't know about my diagnosis and we don't get into the same misunderstandings that me and my school teachers get into. If I'm going to tell people I have "something", I'll just tell them I have ADHD, anxiety and fatigue.

Just like other users said you wouldn't be able to hide it in a relationship.
You can pass as NT but only for short periods of time. It may work with short encounters with friends, but in a relationship that's diferente... The partner is going to spend a lot of time with you and know you well and it is totally unlike you can pass as NT all this time.
In my case I can pass as NT for a few hours, in parties for instance, but without talking much and being quiet because talking while pretending is too draining. I can spend up to 4 days in a friend's house being more like myself because they know me better, but I am not entirely weird while I am there and if I spend more time, say, 5 days, I would explode.

The challenge facing many of us in the spectrum is to understand that whilst we may be prone to black and white thinking, the world, and even the autistic spectrum itself, is made of many different shades.

I have friends in the spectrum whose adapted skills render it no problem, not even an issue to come out the neurological closet. Denial maybe, but they are relatively happy. Their friends accept there rather unusual ways and they are valued for their gifts.

I have a friend in the spectrum who would present to the world an affected or odd manner. It would be advantageous for her in many ways to disclose her AS because otherwise it would be an elephant (a rather awkward one at that) in the room at all times.

Personally I only tell people who I have discerned I really need to tell. There are many reasons for this. One being I have become so board with people saying, "NO No, I would have never believed it" with which my reply could easily have been, "Well, who would have guessed that the leader of the opposition is a socialist."

I love that campaign by gay rights activists which says something like, some people are gay. ........get over it.

As an ambassador for the National Autistic Society I have been addressing this issue as best I can. "Some people don't have autism stamped on their forehead...........get over it"

Long term relationship = Tell them
Short term = Don't tell them