How to build up your confidence?

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modernmax
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29 Mar 2014, 4:26 pm

What are things to do that get your confidence higher? There is a girl I like and she lives a street over, but I rarely go to see her. I tend to only visit on a special occasion or when there is a lot to talk about. This is far from the first time, but several times I have tried to tell her something that I just end up not saying in the end. A few weeks ago when I got this paper in health class that had a bunch of life advice on it, and one of them was to never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them. That inspired me to tell her that, and today I completely disobeyed that rule and wasted an opportunity. When I was leaving, I asked her if her vacation was fun, and she said yes, and if her spring break was fun, and she said yes. Then I said goodbye. Left it at that.

Now granted, it was not the best situation to do it. Maybe because she was standing by the sink in her kitchen and her mom was sitting next to her on the couch a yard away. Maybe because I pretended to forget to say it. Either way it left me disappointed in myself. But I wanted to do it so bad, and just could not do it.

And it makes me so mad that I am unable to do so. It is like there is an invisible force field that keeps me from saying certain stuff to her or going up to her and hugging. It's not even like I haven't done it before. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and said "I love you" once and that was in a terrible place to do it. Now I would definitely say I am a self-confident person. If I have some time to breathe and think about exactly what I am going to say, after a while I can easily start up a conversation with any stranger girl and nearly always get a positive result from it. Ugh, why can't I do this for the girl I love the most!?

Is there any advice on how to prevent this, because it really makes me mad at myself and like I said, since I don't see her often I don't have a lot of chances to do it. What do think I could do? What do you try to get yourself built up?


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cathylynn
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29 Mar 2014, 6:00 pm

confidence is built on the back of positive experiences. sounds like your experience was telling you that it wasn't the right time. don't beat yourself up. you've told her before and you will again when you feel good about it. could have said you were glad she had a good time. that would have conveyed liking her without actually having to say it.



Eccles_the_Mighty
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30 Mar 2014, 3:52 pm

1) Practice, practice, practice.

2) Learn from positive and negative experiences. If something works then do it again but if something fails then analyze why it failed, modify your behavior and try again.

3) Keep a diary, that way it will be easy to monitor your progress.

4) If something works really well then give yourself a little reward.


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