The girl I love is taken

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I've been talking to this girl on Facebook and on the phone for a year and we've got really close. I would say she is one of my very best friends now, and certainly my best friend of the other sex. She lives in the South and I live on the west coast, but we've talked about meeting in real life sometime within the next couple years. Thing is, she is (kinda/unofficially) engaged to a guy in Egypt. He's going to visit summer of 2015, and move there 4 years from now when they get married. Personally I have a feeling he just wants a ticket to America and the hell out of Egypt (who wouldn't?) but to be fair I've talked to him and he is really nice.

Honestly, I don't want any girl aside from her. She's perfect to me, like even her flaws and stuff I don't like about her, is vastly overshadowed by the stuff I do. She's beautiful, and smart, and funny, and kind, and we even have the same favorite TV show and book! A few months ago though, we were talking about it and she told me she is marrying this guy, period, and that it will never happen between us.

Yet a part of me still hopes for more. I love being friends with her but honestly if she does marry this guy, I know it's going to make our relationship more distant. Especially if they have a child. Is there anything I can do to possibly make her change her mind? I really don't want to be with anyone else at this point and I think if she does marry him I'll probably just be alone my whole life, aside from maybe some short term flings or whatever.

First off, it's all moot because an airplane engine is going to fall through the roof of your house & squish you in your bed.

Obviously she enjoys your friendship but doesn't feel the same way about you if she wants to marry the Egyptian guy. I can kind of relate in the sense that I have a crush on a friend who doesn't feel the same way about me. But it is what it is, and as it is with my friend, if you truly love her you'll want her to be happy.. even if that means she's with someone else in order to be happy. It's tough, but it is what it is and you have no choice but to accept the situation.. especially since she has been abundantly clear that it will never happen between you.

Just stay friends with her and keep in touch. You may have a wonderful life long friendship, even if you don't talk daily. And you have no idea what the future holds for your love life. You may have some flings, but you might also meet someone you're even more compatible with in terms of a relationship and end up falling in love together. There is simply no way you can know that you'll be alone you're whole life UNLESS it is by conscious choice and you DECIDE on that, in which case if it's what you want then you should be happy in that choice. But in reality, life will go on and you'll just roll with it and maybe you'll meet someone who likes you back just as much as you like them.

That's just sort of how these things go. Until you get squished by an airplane engine, of course.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

So if I understand correctly, your best friend and love of your life is someone you've never met who lives thousands of miles away, and she is going to marry someone who lives a few more thousand miles away that she has never met? I have no idea how any of that works!

Keep in mind that with the internet and all, it is very easy to build up a fantasy in your mind of what a person is like, that is not necessarily representative of reality. I know I have done it in the past. What I'm trying to say is that if you have never met her, she may not be everything that you imagine her to be. Also, I highly doubt you can change her mind...an engagement is a commitment, and commitments aren't made to be broken.

She's never met this guy, she's not meeting him for another year but they're planning on marriage? Sheesh. And you love her, despite the fact that she's said she has no interest in you, and you've never met her? Stop torturing yourself man, this just sounds complicated.

/e And I mean this in the absolute most respectful way possible, but if you're a 24 year old male and you're thinking you're in love with a 16 year old girl that you've never met, I'm really not a big fan of judging someone due to issues related to autism but that's wrong on every level my friend. I don't care if there's an "age of consent" where you live that makes it okay (There is here, and I still wouldn't consider) There is no acceptable reason for anyone to go through with what you're trying to do. And even then, she has to have some serious, serious issues if she thinks getting married at 16 to someone, let alone someone she's never met is even remotely acceptable. And I'm going to go on a limb and assume her parents either don't know or don't love her, if my kids were going through this I'd ban them from technology.

I've been in your situation, I've been 20 years old with a hopeless love life. I had an "online girlfriend" (of age, mind you) that looking back was all about my self-esteem issues and us validating one another. More power to the people who find someone on the internet and have a good relationship, but the situation I was in, and the one you presented, were nothing like that at all. I really think you should talk to someone and really try to understand how wrong it all really sounds.

Beware Catfishing.

Until you meet in person you've not really met.

Can I get involved too as the online homewrecker?

Overidolization is the biggest part in my relatinships with people in general, and it comes from, so I assume, my AS tendencies to just get too focused on things that fascinate me. I have it under control now, to the point where I simply don't care anymore at all, but where I am trying to get is that especially with the internet, people tend to ignore negative aspects about people even more, simply because they are easier to hide.

If I may, I can give you an advice that very swiftly changed my way of handling women in relantionships: The moment I meet someone new, I check their finger for rings, and probe them if they are in a relatinship. If so, I discard them as belonging to the opposite sex, and they become absolutely asexual entities. It took me a while do adopt this behaviour, but all in all, it worked really quickly.

I happened to realize the same thing when dealing with people who I consider more "valuable" than me (which is almost anyone), but have something I want. I immediately start to assume that, since they are of such superiority (say, a college professor), they would never ever even consider dealing with me - after all, if I had the choice between me and somebody else, I know who I would choose. Maybe you have the same problem that derives from low self-esteem: You think that this is the only one because she is nice with you, you adore her quirks and things and all that (which might be genuine admiration, mind you), but make the equation that since you like her, and she likes you, and nobody ever else has in this way (just assuming here for the sake of my argument), she must be the only one.

Now, I cannot give you any insight on how women work, but I have a rather keen instinct about these things when analyzing other folks. I think your reaction that you think her fiancee might just be tricking her to get a US passport, is plain denial of the fact that she is not for you to have. In trying to stick to these ideas that there might, in the future, be some kind of scenario where you too end up together, is you brain protecting you from too much suffering all at once. From my experience, even this kind of thing just fades away, especially if you bring your mind to do other things. One of our autistic positive feats is that we can discard things like that rather quickly if we don't get reminded of it.
I don't think that you will have any real chance of ending up with her - and mind you, it would be sliding seemlessly from one SERIOUS relationship into the next - and that almost always ends up in tragedy. If someone is willing to dump their s/o from one day to the next just to be with you, chances are they are willing and capable of doing the same again.

First of all, she isn't "taken". She's not a reserved seat. She's not a thing at all, she's a person. And she's chosen, actively, to be with someone who isn't you. If she were swooning for you, you can bet she'd break up with that other fellow -- since she has, after all, more agency than a chair does -- and come signaling like mad to you that she was interested.

You'll have better luck with women generally if you don't think of us as objects that are ownable or takeable.

Apart from that...I'm sorry. It does happen all the time, unfortunately.

You say you don't want to be with anyone else. I don't think that's true. At least, it wasn't true when I told myself that as a young man. The truth was more like, "I need to be with this girl because I will never get any other girl to like me because I'm a loser." Take a moment and be really, really honest about yourself. And then listen to me when I tell you it's not true. She's not your last chance. You have new chances every day of your life. You just have to find her.

OMG, are you crazy?? I don't intend to hurt your feelings but I think you very naive and being set up to be royally taken advantage of by these two con-artists. They are confidence tricksters! A PC screen is in NO WAY a substitute for being face to face with a person and getting to truly know them and their family. OMG, if I were your mother, you'd give me a heart attack!! You're living in a fantasy world and should really try to meet a girl close to home that is willing to show her face to you and to your family.
I"ll keep you in my prayers because you're going to need them. OMG! And then there's the people here who are giving you advice and they are pure greenhorns - they know even less than you do about con artists and the social world! HOLY COW!! I'll have to do a 6 month novena for you! The good Lord will have to intervene in this case. A lot of people on this site can do the real social thing so they hide and have these fantasy relationships with complete strangers over a PC. What a shame!! They are all bait for true predators. Don't think that predators do not know this. They do!! !

Now, I cannot give you any insight on how women work, but I have a rather keen instinct about these things when analyzing other folks. I think your reaction that you think her fiancee might just be tricking her to get a US passport, is plain denial of the fact that she is not for you to have.


They're BOTH tricking him!! !! Why EGYPT?! ! Is he a terrorist?? Get out of this quick because if you enable a sleeper cell person to do something in America, you'll be tried as an accomplice.