I need some dating advice from women

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Nobody's too tired to make a date with someone they are really interested in seeing. I'm sorry to say, I think she's not into you.

Okay, perhaps the best thing to do would be to ask her if she's still interested and let her know she won't hurt my feelings to let me know she's not. Good idea/bad idea?

Bad idea. Leave her alone! You've got a second date set up, right? So check in a couple days before the date, make sure it's still on, and if it is, go.

And seriously -- you know, a step back. This isn't a relationship, you had a nice date, it might go somewhere, might not. She's not committed to you, owes you nothing, isn't stressing over whether you're thinking about her. Very early days.

Actually, we do NOT have a second date set up. She AGREED to a second date. Now it seems like she's not interested.

I realize this isn't a relationship. I just don't want to set up a second date with somebody who's not interested.

So just to be clear, I was contacting her to arrange a second date. Before I even got that far, she immediately said she was tired, and I responded by saying i was contacting her to arrange our date, and she said she was just watching a little TV before she went to bed. I said that was fine and have a good night. She responded in kind.

So again, since she basically said she's too tired to arrange a second date and since I ALREADY backed offer for a couple of days and got no response of interest, I have to come to the conclusion she's not interested and give her the option to opt out of our second date.

I think you just need to come straight out and ask her if you have offended her or anything. It could be so many things. She could be peed off that you were contacting her lots the stopped, she could have been annoyed that you were contacting her too much. She may not be interested but if you don't ask her you'll just be guessing.

If my experiences tell me anything, women will NEVER tell you what you did wrong when they dump you or lose interest. Unless it's really horrible, like stepping on her cat or wrecking her car, which I've never done. If you persist, they'll tell you something vague like: "you're fine, but there's no chemistry between us". A woman expects you to know how to keep her interest, and what not to do. If you're an aspie and don't have these skills, that's your problem, not hers; she'll just find someone who does (and dump you without telling you what you did wrong).

In your case, it's texting too much, after having had only one date. I know I made this mistake multiple times when I was 18 to 19, although it was calling, not texting. God help me if Facebook existed back then; I'd have made far worse mistakes.

So send her one final text "I never want to hear from you again!". It'll turn the tables and shock her into thinking she did something wrong, especially if she texted you back recently. Give her a taste of her own medicine. Then pretend she never existed. Ignore all her attempts to contact you. Your mental health will thank you.

Absolutely don't do this, unless you want to appear completely nuts.
If she's truly uninterested in another date (which I think is the case) then she's being vague because a) she thinks you will still get the message, and b) vague is considered kinder and less embarrassing for both parties.

You should accept her decision gracefully, because you never know what will happen down the road. You may see her around again, and she may introduce you to a friend of hers. At the very least, you'll be able to run into her without it being really awkward. Don't burn your bridges.

Aspie1, I'm more of a "Better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all" kind of guy. Of course things have hardly gone that far in this instance, but not much I can do about it. If she's not interested, she's not interested.

This is a hard one. I don't really know the answer since the whole texting thing is so different for every woman. Just because a women doesn't initiate does not mean she doesn't like you as much.

HOWEVER, what I think from reading your story is that she does not want a second date with you.

I agree. I'll find out tonight. I'll contact her earlier in the night and let her know she doesn't seem interested even though I am, and she just need to tell me if she isn't, I'll live. That's basically the way I'll handle it. It's the best I can think of and can do.

Dude!
You are obsessing. Step back. Put her out of your mind. Go for a day or two of not thinking about her.

Agreed. I wouldn't text at all for some time.

Personally, I'd try to forget about her. I am one of those who tends to obsess over potential love interests, too, and years of experience have taught me that expecting too much too soon is a death knell for relationships.

So, put her out of your mind, and if you hear from her of her own volition, great. If not, move on.

If you keep texting her, you're going to force her to be blunt. Then you're going to criticize her for being blunt and decide that she was a jerk all along. Repeat with next girl. Repeat with next girl. Etc. etc. etc. Finally, you'll become one of those angry men who post that all women are crazy jerks.
Or you could just stop texting her. Just stop.

Sorry, this post annoys me on so many levels. How did you get it *so* wrong?

I'd *prefer* her being blunt to her not being blunt OBVIOUSLY based on what I've said in previous posts. I don't think she's a crazy jerk, I think I have Asperger's syndrome and a hard time figuring out what to do. A little clue about that is that I'm posting on an Asperger's forum, see?

If you've read previous posts, you'll know that I have to text her at LEAST to ascertain a time for a second date which she's agreed to. My psychic abilities are on the fritz lately, so I can't use that means for communication.

Eureka13, I think I've messed things up enough to move on to other opportunities and learn from my mistakes. Oh well, such is life.

I'm telling you she has changed her mind. There will be no date. She does not like you.
But see how irritated you already are getting with ME for being blunt?
Oh, the irony.