Getting To Know A Man

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I wish I can go on a dating app without men wanting to move fast, like saying ‘I love you’ too fast or wanting to be your boyfriend fast. What is the hurry? I thought about my relationship clearly, I really cannot handle my boyfriend anymore. Yesterday he told me that I’m more important than anything, he loves me more than anything & he sees a future with me, we only known each other for 3 weeks tomorrow. For the first time, I’m not by my phone waiting for him to text me, he is traveling too.

Do women here seen desperate guys on dating sites or other places?

Everyone has their own pace. One thing I would do is to tell him that you aren't comfortable moving that fast and then ask him point blank if he really means all he has said, or if he thinks he needs to say it to affirm the relationship. A lot of men will have gotten the feedback from women over the years that they need to say these things or the woman will feel insecure, and so they say them. So, I'd get that out of the way before you let it turn you off.

If he is sincere, the next question is if he is willing to dial back. And if he dials it back, whether or not that would make you comfortable staying in the relationship. Time to have an honest conversation with him - and yourself, to decide what it all means for the potential of this relationship. People can survive differing timelines when they want to, but sometimes not wanting to is all you really need to know.

My dating life was before on-line dating, but I knew my share of desperate men. Being fast isn't always a sign of being desperate, as noted above, but being desperate is pretty much always a turn off. It feels too much like they are trying to take from you, instead of share with you. If that is the way he makes you feel, that is he trying to take from you, then odds are good he is actually desperate and needs to get his head in healthier space before he can be a good partner. Be honest with him about it and how it makes you feel; these guys need to hear it, IMHO.

I think they act that way because they want sex. They'd like us to feel as secure as possible so we will have sex with them. It doesn't mean that the relationship is going to be over after sex. It will still run its course either to a break-up, a friendship, or a marriage. That course can be 3 weeks, 3months, etc..who knows? As far as a break-up goes, it's either going to be you breaking up with him or the other way around. I'd like to suggest a book. it's language is a bit harsh but its worth far surpasses anything!! Its called "Unf#ck Your Intimacy" by Faith G. Harper. I found it amazing and so very helpful. She also has two more that are good as well. "Unf#ck Your Boundaries" and "Unf#ck Your Brain"
For me, the intimacy one was best because I had some real problems with this. It has good information for a lot of things in regards to relationships.

Last edited by RightGalaxy on 05 Nov 2019, 1:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

DW a Mom, you are the best!! !