Why should I date?

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I don't think I want to date.

As a hetero-man, am I not expected to initiate everything and lead all the conversations? I get the impression that I am going to have a bad time, even with women I would be otherwise compatible with.

Why should I go through all the trouble of getting date? What's the incentive? I know how to please myself, and I don't think the romantic incentive is worth the trouble either.

Never been on a date before and I don't think I want to.

There was this girl at work that I tried to make friends with. I think she wanted to date me, but I tried to start a platonic relationship and I couldn't even do that.

I approached and greeted her at lunch. I didn't feel comfortable. I tried to find out her interests by asking what she does in her spare time. And she said she doesn't have spare time and that she just works (I don't believe it). So I didn't have any information to go by on potential places to invite her. The conversation died and the next times I saw her, she was looking at me all frustrated. The last time she was there she looked back at me when she walked out through the doors.

Advise her that she should take some time off and make some suggestions as to what the two of you could do during that time......
She probably does have a thing for you. It sounds to me she is frustrated by your caution. The look back at you as she left the room is definitely a positive thing! Women don't do that to guys they don't like. Make a move, but do it soon.

Maybe it makes the most sense to just hold off on dating until you meet someone whose company you would enjoy enough or who intrigues you enough or is fun enough to you that you would actually enjoy the process of dating.

I hated dating, too.

That's hardly the reality. Actual relationship dynamics are a bit more balanced (50/50) if you're doing it right, in my opinion. It's highly unlikely there's any women out there that actually expects you to lead every conversation.

If dating doesn't sound good to you, then don't, simple as that. Do what you're comfortable with. Just thought you should know that dating isn't nearly as terrifying as it sounds. Again if you're doing it right in my opinion it should feel pretty comfortable after initial contact.

She doesn't work there anymore. I'm thinking she quit or something. Thanks for the advice though. I should have been more clear.

Another guy who resides in Minnesota.

As another guy myself I totally understand your animosity in the dating world.

The modern dating and relationship world is a joke. At any rate you're young enough that I would focus on your education and making a career first as dating can come later. Relationships are very transactionary and he who has the most amount of money, influence, or power wins. Romance? A delightful fiction. Pay no attention to that nonsense.

Yeah, you're still in the young romance stage. Get rid of any notion of romance as soon as possible. If you don't you'll only keep on getting hurt in the end. All relationships of the opposite sex are business arrangements only, nothing more.

No love, romance, or Platonic ideals involved.

That is an unbelievably stupid comment. The most common complaint from women is that their partner isn't romantic enough and doesnt seem to care about them.

I'm sorry, but in a statistical public number of sixty five percent of women that exist within a hypergamous mental framework of mind I fail to see what anything has to do with love or romance.

No, like many things relationships of the opposite sex revolves around socio economics. The immaterial is material and the idealism of love is actually nothing more than illusion of entirely selfish instinctively driven mating behaviors between human beings.

Love or romance is just a fictional delusion, idealism, and naivety people like to indulge themselves in when reality is the direct opposite. It makes people "feel" better about themselves believing in such things.

You've just proved my point. Women want to be loved, they want affectio. When htey meet a tirade like that they will walk away.

Yes, by men with deep pockets only......

I am arguing love or romance is merely a masquerade for purely socio economic reasoning and rationale.

Interesting remark. I suspect you are right, but I also suspect this is something that is specific to NDs and that is not valid for NTs.

At least it is pretty worthless if you don't want the girl to judge you on socio-economic factors, or pure conversation skills. I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with the idea that relationships are about matching interests or socio-economics. I don't want to be in a relationship that is based on such principles.

It's your own choice if you want relationships to revolve around socio-economics. Nobody forces you to participate in activities that centers on such aspects (dating).



It's real enough to me.

You're deluded. This is just PUA crap. Yes there are shallow women on the planet, as there are shallow men. But not all humans are like that. Love isn't a cover for socio-economic exchanges. People actually do care about each other and have feelings. I'm sorryt that you can't see that or that you can't feel it, but you are wrong.