Asperger's dating statistics

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I'm glad to hear your recovering, partly for your sake but most of all for my own sake. After reading your earlier posts I was terrified that I would end up as a married 48 year old man who was mad that I didn't have any relationships as a teenager when so much of our culture is based on the idea that that's when you have your first relationship.

When I heard you say stuff like that, it made me think of how I think. Even when I'm in a relationship I feel mad when I see teenagers or 20 year olds who are together or when I hear people tell stories about it (present tense or past tense) or read about it (everywhere on the web) or see it on TV (every channel). I know it happens all the time in real life, not just TV and it makes me mad.

So I'm glad that you can get over regretting the past because it makes me think maybe I can. I think I would just be too hard on myself if I was feeling sorry formyself even while in a relationship. If I spent too much time feeling bad about something that isn't even happening at the time.

And maybe I shouldn't judge myself by NT standards. As for aspies, only 2 out of 16 aspie guys under 30 I know in meatspace are currently in a relationship. Only 5 of 16 have ever had one. Two thirds of the aspie girls I know in meatspace are in a relationship. If I count all ages, 5 out of 19 aspie guys I know are in a relationship and 9 out of 19 have had one. All of the middle aged aspie guys that I know are married (though unfortunately for me they married quite young and one of the under 30s I mentioned is 23, been married since he was 19).

Maybe by those standards it really is normal for aspie guys to not have a relationship during youth. I know as a teenager there were girls who liked me. If I had just handled things a little bit differently I could have made good. I think if I knew then what I know now, I could have succeeded with my then current abilities. But then I remember I didn't know then what I know now and I shouldn't project my current mindset onto my teenaged self. I had different ways of thinking then. Maybe there's a reason why it takes most aspie guys a third of their lives to figure out how to turn the near misses into hits.

Maybe I shouldn't worry about how old I was or who did what at what age because if I worry about that too much, I start to become like the lady from Keeping Up Appearances. More concerned about how my image looks than important stuff. Worried about people judging me for things they probably don't even care about but in my paranoid mind they do. Even if people knew about my past (they don't), even if people cared about my past (they might not worry even if they knew), even though a few small minded people have chastised me for being too old to not have had a relationship (made me mad when they were 5 years younger than me and they had their first 5 years before that)... even when my paranoia turns out to be right and people really are judging me harshly, I should think of Keeping up Apparances and remember I shouldn't fall into the same thinking patterns as Hyacinth.

Anyway, even though I have a very small sample size, I hope I provided you with some actual aspie dating statistics. Not the sample size only includes aspies I know in meatspace and does not count myself.

Ya it seems from what I've observed from posts on many different forums online, whenever you hear of a person who is over the age of 25 and never been in a relationship before, still a virgin, its almost always guys instead of girls.

My memories of age 32 involve my wedding. Many people's memories of age 32 involve their divorce-definitely something I wouldn't want to go through. At least I don't have any bad break up memories, and still holding major hatred and resentment towards an ex.

My point is there that is hope for everyone on this forum, maybe just not at the time we would like for it to happen (I am not a patient person). If someone told me when I was in my mid 20s that I would have the life I have today, I would have absolutely not believed them.

Yes, I've also read that many times on different websites. Even though it's unfortunate that this should happen too so many, it made me feel less like a freak to read that many have shared my experience. I no longer thought that I was the only one to have gone through that experience.

Even though at times it seems our culture is based on the idea othat everyone should pair up in their late teens, the thing to remember is that culture is based on ideals, not reality. Some pair up young but not everyone has too.

I don't need to repeat that I went from zero experience to sleeping with 4 (and kissing 7) in two years and now have an engagement ring picked up so there is hope for the woefully inexperienced.

I will however mention that many people I know my age (my brother included) are either getting divorced or at least heading towards splitsville. I might have been a late bloomer but I will end up in the best situation in the end.

I think some sort of maturation process might take place. For some reason Asperger's just delays that. We finally get to the point that most people get to when they are 18-20. For me it happened around age 28. Maybe I will stay looking 10 years less than my true age, that would be nice!

So... what happened two years ago to improve your prospects?

What was the best thing you learned?