How does one behave on a 'second date'?

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lol exactly how I feel when a girl I like doesn't like me back. On the outside i'm just like okay no big deal but on the inside i'm like




finding another girl, time, or playing video games helps to get over her but that isn't always easy especially when you feel like theres no one else like her. And you're 16 so you still have plenty of time to mature mind-wise. When I was 16, I couldn't even talk to anyone without freezing up. I still suck at talking but hey at least im better. You can change a lot personality wise and your views and ideals in 5 years. Just look at Miley Cyrus.

Last edited by darkphantomx1 on 02 Apr 2015, 11:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

Listen man you never give up. Don't make the same mistake I did. I got rejected time and time again during my 8th and 9th grade year and as a result, I closed myself off and i'm now afraid to talk to girls because I fear they will reject and ignore me again. That's why I never had a girlfriend all throughout high school because I was too afraid to take the initiative. If a girl is single and shows some interest in you, you have to take the initiative and you can't wait for some other guy to come pick her up because that will happen. She's just waiting for a guy shes interested in to ask her out and if he doesn't ask her out, she will find some other guy who will. I had several opportunities my junior year in high school but I froze up and they assumed I was uninterested or quickly moved on to another guy. You just can't stand around and daydream about a girl hoping she will make a move on you, that's the mistake iv'e made every single time and will continue to make this mistake until I grow a pair and actually ask for a girls phone number.

You never give up trying to talk to girls. Because some day, you will be successful. And if you never even try to interact with women, you will have to wait a very long time before you get a girlfriend if ever. Getting rejected hurts but thinking about a girl 24/7 and not doing anything about it and watching her walk away hurts even more. Iv'e been there and done that far too many times and i'm tired of it. Obsessing about a girl who barely even knows I exist and that never feels good.

Don't make the same mistake I did. Don't give up.

I actually know that feeling.

In the 10th grade I tried so many times and failed that by the 11th I couldn't even say a single word to any of the girls I liked and was completely mute.

I am at a new school this year now that I'm in the 12th grade and felt more confident now that I had a fresh start and improved social skills.

Alright, I'm hoping AngelRho sees this so they can reply, but anyone else can respond.

So, basically, AngelRho, your idea is this:

- Realistically speaking, only about 1 in 100 women would want to go out with you.

- You might have to go through 100 women before finding that 1 special person who is naturally the right person for you. The kind of person that you naturally 'click' with and get along with. The kind of person that you naturally are destined to be in a relationship with. 'The one'. Not the one you will marry, but simply the one who seems to be what you are looking for.

- To do this, you choose QUANTITY over QUALITY?
If you aren't a charming, smooth-talking type, than your only choice is to go through a ridiculous amount of people until you find the one that will accept you and like you as you are.

- So, you make yourself noticeable, simply by hanging around their 'spot'? What is their 'spot'? In high school, most people have a particular 'spot' where they are most found - typically a certain place that they always sit with their friends.

So, find their 'spot' and hang around doing your own thing, pretending not to notice her - the idea is for you to be noticed by her.

- Get a notebook.

- After hanging around, approach her and strike up a conversation for 5 minutes. Get as much information as possible, especially regarding her hobbies/interests. I can DO this.

- Go back another time a little later on and do it again, but this time make the conversation longer and in-more depth. Casually ask them if they'd like to get coffee sometime.

- See them for, how long, 8 weeks? And, if they are the right person for you, then obviously things will naturally progress into a relationship, as you would both be flirting with each other and have 'chemistry' and a 'connection' together. A natural one. The idea is to see so many different women that you will eventually find this one woman you have chemistry with.

- So, due to me being just a teenager, I should choose not to be too distracted or wasting my time. Meaning I should only aim to meet one girl, every weekend.

As in, one NEW PERSON each weekend?

Or, maybe just a small number of girls (say 3-6) but as long as I am hanging out with at least one of them each weekend?

Is this your idea AngelRho? Have I gotten the gist of it?

Because I'm doing it. I really will do it.

The steps they're real!

Try everything and don't be afraid to make mistakes. You learn from your mistakes and the important thing is you get back up from them.

Good luck finding "the one" My one and only is Justin Bieber. He doesn't know it yet but we were meant for each other.

Forget about statistics; they mean nothing within a personal, individual context.

"Being yourself" will land you more success, especially as you get older.

Guess what, folks…I'm baaaaaaack!! !! !

And I want a progress report…NOW.

No. WORST CASE SCENARIO only 1 in 100 women. I'm too optimistic to actually believe it can possibly be that bad. But I prefer to look at things as "what's the worst that could happen?" It's a way of defeating fear. Besides, if you try to casually meet up with 100 women and you get shot down for lunch or coffee every single time, something is SERIOUSLY wrong. I'm not saying it can't happen. I'm just saying that…well, 100 women is a big number. If you can go through that many women and not get a single coffee date, not even a "real date" (I count all of them as real, but you know what I mean), you really need to examine why that is. It takes a lot of courage to do that, and a lot of people aren't ready to look at themselves as date-repellant.


Eh…more or less… But you might not even have to go THAT far. And then again, you might have to meet a lot more than 100 women. Let's say you actually meet and regularly have contact with 100 women, become tight friends with 3 or 4, try for LTR with those 3 or 4, and it doesn't work out. Now you need to backtrack…are there any women you crossed off the list earlier you want to revisit? Or are you just starting over from scratch? Reconnecting is going to save you time, but if things didn't work out, you might want to start completely over.

But do remember this: When you decide to stick with ONE woman, you're rejecting every other woman in your dating pool in favor of an exclusive relationship. It's not just that there's only one woman out there for you…it's that you're CHOOSING for there to be only one woman. Which is fine, that's exactly what we're trying to do. Don't be picky right out of the barrel. Get to know a lot of people over a long period of time before you decide to zero in on a small number of women.


Well, you HAVE other choices. But yes, you go for QUANTITY. Why? Because you're going to find quality WITHIN quantity. In other words, working with a larger number is going to help you find more of the quality you're looking for. They're out there. The trouble is finding them. You can't find if you don't look. And when you're working with smaller numbers, you make it less likely you're going to be in the company of the kind of quality you're going for.

Here's another thought: Why CAN'T you populate that quantity with quality? In other words, ask 100 quality women out. The large numbers rule still applies. But at the same time, I think if you go TOO much with quality, you might miss the gems that are hiding out there, awesome women you never knew existed because you'd never have given them a chance before. Luck favors the prepared.


Not exactly. If you aren't used to dating or "chatting up" people, it's a good idea to make yourself comfortable in that kind of environment. You also don't want to be labeled a creep, just randomly going up to someone and spraying her with questions. Get used to be being seen. Get used to making very brief eye contact. That sort of thing. When you aren't intimidated by others, and when you feel comfortable striking up a quick convo, it won't be quite so difficult.

This may not be something you have much difficulty with, but others do. Don't "pretend not to notice" anyone. You're just hanging out minding your own business. You just wanted to have a cup of coffee while you post something to Twitter and check your Facebook (or whatever). BTW…I see you here every Thursday and you order the same thing. Would you like to share a table while you wait for your friends? (See what I did there?)


Yep…keep track of important things you need to remember. I do actively keep a journal, though not for your purposes. A funny thing about me: I actually do keep my journal with me pretty much at all times. That may not work out for you. If you're tracking your social/dating life, it might be best to keep that somewhere only you have access to.


Yep.


You got it.


Basically, you've got it. But never, EVER put a timetable on things. Somewhere between 8 and 12 weeks you should be able to ask this girl out for a date-date. As far as romantic relationships go, I'd really hope by the time a year passes you'd know at least one of these girls, preferable 3 or 4, well enough that you could initiate a serious relationship. But it's not that black-and-white. I always suggest long periods of time where there might be some doubt. Could you find "The ONE" in 90 days? Sure. If you're so lucky, there's really no point in continuing any longer, and just stick with the exclusive relationship. You should be prepared for it if it happens that way. You should NOT count on that happening, though.


Or simply every week. You don't really have to be overly concerned with never spending weekends alone, so don't stay very preoccupied with it. Just spending a quick 5 minutes meeting someone new. Hello! What's your name? Cool! My name is____. So what do you like to do? Really? I've never heard of that. Do you mind telling me what that is? Awesome! Hey, I have to go, but I'd like to hear more. Same time tomorrow? Great! Can't wait!


No. Start big. Get to know a lot of people. Track who you're spending time with. Now, keep in mind you're going to get rejection, and likely LOTS of it. But you're also going to find out of those who DON'T reject dates with you, a few of those will pretty much go out with you every time you ask. You're going to find you're spending most of your time with them. THAT is when you decide how you're going to move that towards a more serious relationship.


You've very roughly got it. Just hang in there. Can't wait to hear back from you.