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Lazar_Kaganovich
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29 Apr 2015, 5:23 pm

rdos wrote:
Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
When was the last time that you participated in the dating culture? And what is the age difference(if any) between you and your wife(not to mention what age you guys met)?


Early 90s. Met wife in 1991, and we married 1992. She is 7 years younger than me.

Regardless, innate preferences in women are not likely to change in a decade or two, which means I kind of doubt that a majority of NT women don't want a commitment. Culture might have moved away from the family as the natural unit, but that doesn't change people's innate preferences.


And yet, women's sexual behavior as well as their dating practices have changed DRASTICALLY since 1991 here in the US! So that shows you that women's innate instincts when it comes to romantico-sexual relations with men are not static. I don't make the claim of some evolutionary change in women, but I do make the claim that monogamy is not innate for either sex. Particularly for NTs. It might very well be innate in neurodiverse people, but don't quote me on that.



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29 Apr 2015, 8:34 pm

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
If you wanna bring up celebrity couples, what about the ill-fated marriage between Jordan Bratman and Christina Aguilera? She divorced him because she didn't like having to be committed to one man. And then there's Ice-T's wife Coco Marrow who cheated on him with a lesser known rapper. And Heidi Klum who cheated on her alpha hubby with a body guard and now she and the Mr have separated. If she already has a child with an alpha and has the means to provide for that child, there's no rational reason why she cannot or even wouldn't automatically want to have sex with other alphas.


Let's look at those examples one by one, shall we? Christina Aguilera was a superstar married to a mildly-famous music producer. In other words, she was dating someone who was far below her level and her lesser in everyway. She didn't kick him to the curb because she "didn't want to commit to anyone", her hypergamous instincts kicking again. Women don't like to be married to men who are less succesful than they are. Ditto for Heidi Klum.

As for Coco Marrow, jury's still out on whether she actually cheated on Ice-T or not. Next? :roll:

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
The evidence comes from the active participation of women in hookup culture and the rise of single motherhood+ more and more children being born out of wedlock now that the social stigma against female non-monogamy is eroding. I hear women say they want commitment, but they really don't follow through on it. One example is my late first cousin once removed who separated from her husband after having a child because she felt that the marital expectation of commitment was too restrictive. What is the scientific evidence that women are wired for monogamy? You have not presented any such evidence; just assumptions about what women want based on 1 example.


Again, you've already brought that up and I've already answered. The rise on single motherhood after women no longer required a man to support them is evidence of women's LACK of interest in sex and romantic company, not the other way around. :roll:

Now lay off the personal anecdotes that are impossible to confirm or debunk, and give me some actual evidence to support your point if you have any.



kraftiekortie
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29 Apr 2015, 8:39 pm

Personal anecdotes, if true, are the BEST evidence.

What's your problem with people presenting personal anecdotes?

You're in a certain mindset, and you're solidly in that mindset. Nothing will get you out of it.

I hope you find someone soon, so that you'll get out of this world that you're in.



Gauldoth
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29 Apr 2015, 8:43 pm

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
And yet, women's sexual behavior as well as their dating practices have changed DRASTICALLY since 1991


This is actually partially true, there are now less restraints on female sexuality than there have ever been at any time throughout history anywhere. And yet, if you look around news articles and statistics, they all say the same thing: people are having less sex than they've ever had before. Funny how that works, huh? :roll:



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29 Apr 2015, 8:45 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Personal anecdotes, if true, are the BEST evidence.

What's your problem with people presenting personal anecdotes?


They're impossible to confirm or deny, meaning they're useless as evidence and only serve to bog down the conversation.



kraftiekortie
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29 Apr 2015, 8:55 pm

I don't find that the results of studies apply to myself.

They don't take into account individuals. All they look at are groups.

Just because, say, 60% of Aspie 25-year-olds are still virgins--doesn't mean that you'll be 25 and still a virgin. If you have a blind belief in the studies, you will never succeed. These results breed self-fulfilling prophecies which are often FALSE. You have to TRANSCEND what the studies found.



Lazar_Kaganovich
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29 Apr 2015, 10:16 pm

Gauldoth wrote:
Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
And yet, women's sexual behavior as well as their dating practices have changed DRASTICALLY since 1991


This is actually partially true, there are now less restraints on female sexuality than there have ever been at any time throughout history anywhere. And yet, if you look around news articles and statistics, they all say the same thing: people are having less sex than they've ever had before. Funny how that works, huh? :roll:



LESS sex than they've ever had before?!? 8O

Where the hell do you even live? Here in America, people are shagging right and left thanks to apps like Tinder(and Craigslist/Backpage for the more desperate and super-deviant types! :lol: ). That is what all the news articles and statistics are saying.



Gauldoth wrote:
Again, you've already brought that up and I've already answered. The rise on single motherhood after women no longer required a man to support them is evidence of women's LACK of interest in sex and romantic company, not the other way around. :roll:



Erm, just exactly how do you think babies are created? More than 50% of single mothers in the US did NOT get artificially inseminated. So it shows a lack of interest in romantic company but certainly does Not show a lack of interest in sex! Your conclusion is based on the assumption that desire for romantic companionship is a prerequisite for having sexual intercourse with men. Also, in the case of Heidi Klum the man she committed adultery with was FAR less wealthy, famous, and successful than her husband!

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't find that the results of studies apply to myself.

They don't take into account individuals. All they look at are groups.

Just because, say, 60% of Aspie 25-year-olds are still virgins--doesn't mean that you'll be 25 and still a virgin. If you have a blind belief in the studies, you will never succeed. These results breed self-fulfilling prophecies which are often FALSE. You have to TRANSCEND what the studies found.



Hear! Hear!



Gauldoth
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29 Apr 2015, 11:02 pm

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
LESS sex than they've ever had before?!? 8O

Where the hell do you even live? Here in America, people are shagging right and left thanks to apps like Tinder(and Craigslist/Backpage for the more desperate and super-deviant types! :lol: ). That is what all the news articles and statistics are saying.


http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfre ... y-less-sex

http://www.bbc.com/news/health-25094142

http://www.express.co.uk/life-style/lif ... g-less-sex

You were saying, chief? :roll:

Also, for the record, I don't agree with these articles reasoning as to WHY people are having less sex, I'm just quoting them to show that they are.

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
Erm, just exactly how do you think babies are created? More than 50% of single mothers in the US did NOT get artificially inseminated. So it shows a lack of interest in romantic company but certainly does Not show a lack of interest in sex! Your conclusion is based on the assumption that desire for romantic companionship is a prerequisite for having sexual intercourse with men. Also, in the case of Heidi Klum the man she committed adultery with was FAR less wealthy, famous, and successful than her husband!


All I know is I live in an age where technology has made it so that our species can essentially reproduce assexually, and boy howdy, does it show. And again, already asked and answered, most women will bang Alpha males until they get pregnant, then swear off sex and go off to raise their kid alone.

As for Heidi Klum, who she cheated with really doesn't matter, she was stuck with a husband who was her lesser in every conceivable way and wanted to get rid of him. Cheating was just the fastest and easiest way to achieve this.

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
Hear! Hear!


I know, you don't usually quote blogposts, especially not of this type, so I'd like to make a disclaimer that I don't subscribe to EVERYTHING this author writes, but here he touches on some very unpleasant, undeniable truths about the status of affairs for men today's society:

http://kshatriya-anglobitch.blogspot.pt ... -results=1

Be honest here, doesn't this strike a chord with you two in any way? :roll:



Lazar_Kaganovich
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29 Apr 2015, 11:14 pm

Gauldoth wrote:
Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
LESS sex than they've ever had before?!? 8O

Where the hell do you even live? Here in America, people are shagging right and left thanks to apps like Tinder(and Craigslist/Backpage for the more desperate and super-deviant types! :lol: ). That is what all the news articles and statistics are saying.


http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfre ... y-less-sex

http://www.bbc.com/news/health-25094142

http://www.express.co.uk/life-style/lif ... g-less-sex

You were saying, chief? :roll:

Also, for the record, I don't agree with these articles reasoning as to WHY people are having less sex, I'm just quoting them to show that they are.

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
Erm, just exactly how do you think babies are created? More than 50% of single mothers in the US did NOT get artificially inseminated. So it shows a lack of interest in romantic company but certainly does Not show a lack of interest in sex! Your conclusion is based on the assumption that desire for romantic companionship is a prerequisite for having sexual intercourse with men. Also, in the case of Heidi Klum the man she committed adultery with was FAR less wealthy, famous, and successful than her husband!


All I know is I live in an age where technology has made it so that our species can essentially reproduce assexually, and boy howdy, does it show. And again, already asked and answered, most women will bang Alpha males until they get pregnant, then swear off sex and go off to raise their kid alone.

As for Heidi Klum, who she cheated with really doesn't matter, she was stuck with a husband who was her lesser in every conceivable way and wanted to get rid of him. Cheating was just the fastest and easiest way to achieve this.

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
Hear! Hear!


I know, you don't usually quote blogposts, especially not of this type, so I'd like to make a disclaimer that I don't subscribe to EVERYTHING this author writes, but here he touches on some very unpleasant, undeniable truths about the status of affairs for men today's society:

http://kshatriya-anglobitch.blogspot.pt ... -results=1

Be honest here, doesn't this strike a chord with you two in any way? :roll:




Funny how those articles are British and not American. Perhaps people across the pond on the rain swept Isle of Britain really are having less sex, but in the USofA casual sex is increasing among 18-25 year olds.


Yes, technology has made it possible for humans to reproduce asexually. But this Costs MONEY that a lot of women neither have nor are willing to spend like that when they can have sex instead.



Gauldoth
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29 Apr 2015, 11:41 pm

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
Funny how those articles are British and not American. Perhaps people across the pond on the rain swept Isle of Britain really are having less sex, but in the USofA casual sex is increasing among 18-25 year olds.


Yes, technology has made it possible for humans to reproduce asexually. But this Costs MONEY that a lot of women neither have nor are willing to spend like that when they can have sex instead.


"Finally, somewhat more people these days (10 to 15 percent) report sex with a friend or casual date/pick-up, but they do not report more sexual partners or more frequent sex overall."

You know, you should actually read the f*****g articles in the links you post before posting them. :roll:



rdos
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30 Apr 2015, 2:10 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't find that the results of studies apply to myself.

They don't take into account individuals. All they look at are groups.

Just because, say, 60% of Aspie 25-year-olds are still virgins--doesn't mean that you'll be 25 and still a virgin. If you have a blind belief in the studies, you will never succeed. These results breed self-fulfilling prophecies which are often FALSE. You have to TRANSCEND what the studies found.


I'd rather rephrase it: They don't account for the correct groups. Using diagnosed AS, or worse, low-functioning autism as the state for neurodiversity (or "Aspie") will not give reliable results. The only thing that is somewhat true is that neurodiverse men form relationships later than NTs, but they still form them, just a little bit later. This is also why some autism researchers actually believe that age of father has something to do with autism, it's just that the connection is not the one they try to push. The reason simply is that neurodiverse males form relationships later, and reproduce later.



rdos
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30 Apr 2015, 2:15 am

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
And yet, women's sexual behavior as well as their dating practices have changed DRASTICALLY since 1991 here in the US! So that shows you that women's innate instincts when it comes to romantico-sexual relations with men are not static.


Only superficially. They still date, they still form relationships, they still use sex to gain favors.

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
I don't make the claim of some evolutionary change in women, but I do make the claim that monogamy is not innate for either sex. Particularly for NTs. It might very well be innate in neurodiverse people, but don't quote me on that.


Serial monogamy innate in neurodiversity? No way. Polyamory is connected to neurodiversity, while serial monogamy is a NT-trait. Also, NTs aren't polyamory today even if many of them never commits to anything. They are still serial monogamous.



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30 Apr 2015, 2:39 am

rdos wrote:
The reason simply is that neurodiverse males form relationships later, and reproduce later.


Later, if at all, sadly.



rdos
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30 Apr 2015, 3:10 am

Gauldoth wrote:
rdos wrote:
The reason simply is that neurodiverse males form relationships later, and reproduce later.


Later, if at all, sadly.


A few never does, but it's not uncommon that they are formed in their 30s or 40s. People that complain when they are in their late 20s are simply complaining too soon.



Lazar_Kaganovich
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30 Apr 2015, 11:38 am

rdos wrote:

Serial monogamy innate in neurodiversity? No way. Polyamory is connected to neurodiversity, while serial monogamy is a NT-trait. Also, NTs aren't polyamory today even if many of them never commits to anything. They are still serial monogamous.



I don't buy that the polyamory is connected to neurodiversity. Polyamorous people tend to be highly gregarious and so they have a lot of opportunity to find new/additional partners. Neurodiverse people can and often DO seek out strong emotional attachments to other people. Being non-monogamous requires a high degree of emotional multitasking that most Aspies aren't capable of. I suspect you theorize this because you think that limited empathy enables neurodiverse people to view sex as a purely physical act without the need for an emotional connection.....But in practice it doesn't work like that. Non-monogamy is strong correlated with other mental disorders like bipolar and borderline, which do not by themselves impair social skills.

The Tlingit are only ONE group of Native Americans and even if they carry neanderthal genes I have no seen any evidence that the tribe has a higher incidence of neurodiversity than other tribes. As for this Neanderthal theory of autism, I don't believe it. In order to study the behavior of a species, you have to observe them. Upon reading this on your personal website, you point out that:

Quote:
Unlike hunting, the social behavior of Neanderthal has basically no archaeological evidences to back it up with


Which is entirely correct. And that's why any hypotheses about their sexual behavior and culture in the absence of any written records left by them are purely speculative other than the fact that they did indeed have tool making and left grave goods.




But the reason I brought up the Tlingit is that they are a good counterexample to the hypothesis that paternal involvement is necessary for the survival of offspring. It is not an evolutionary adaptation. There is a more credible explanation for female monogamy and emphasis on commitment and that is the advent of civilization and the concept of property and inheritance. If women are non-monogamous in the absence of contraceptives and paternity testing, it makes it impossible to keep track of whose related to whom(which is vital for determining rightful inheritance).



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30 Apr 2015, 12:47 pm

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
rdos wrote:

Serial monogamy innate in neurodiversity? No way. Polyamory is connected to neurodiversity, while serial monogamy is a NT-trait. Also, NTs aren't polyamory today even if many of them never commits to anything. They are still serial monogamous.



I don't buy that the polyamory is connected to neurodiversity. Polyamorous people tend to be highly gregarious and so they have a lot of opportunity to find new/additional partners. Neurodiverse people can and often DO seek out strong emotional attachments to other people. Being non-monogamous requires a high degree of emotional multitasking that most Aspies aren't capable of. I suspect you theorize this because you think that limited empathy enables neurodiverse people to view sex as a purely physical act without the need for an emotional connection.....But in practice it doesn't work like that. Non-monogamy is strong correlated with other mental disorders like bipolar and borderline, which do not by themselves impair social skills.

The Tlingit are only ONE group of Native Americans and even if they carry neanderthal genes I have no seen any evidence that the tribe has a higher incidence of neurodiversity than other tribes. As for this Neanderthal theory of autism, I don't believe it. In order to study the behavior of a species, you have to observe them. Upon reading this on your personal website, you point out that:

Quote:
Unlike hunting, the social behavior of Neanderthal has basically no archaeological evidences to back it up with


Which is entirely correct. And that's why any hypotheses about their sexual behavior and culture in the absence of any written records left by them are purely speculative other than the fact that they did indeed have tool making and left grave goods.




But the reason I brought up the Tlingit is that they are a good counterexample to the hypothesis that paternal involvement is necessary for the survival of offspring. It is not an evolutionary adaptation. There is a more credible explanation for female monogamy and emphasis on commitment and that is the advent of civilization and the concept of property and inheritance. If women are non-monogamous in the absence of contraceptives and paternity testing, it makes it impossible to keep track of whose related to whom(which is vital for determining rightful inheritance).


Look, I really don't know why you're having this discussion. This isn't really about whether or not you're NT or not. From what I've read, and from my personal experience, when it comes to this type of thing, Aspie men want the same thing NT men want: women's sex and love. Even if Aspies' idea of love does tend to differ a bit from the norm, in essence both are after the same thing.