How do you act when you DON'T like a girl?
Hey guys, how do you act when you are NOT interested in a girl? For example, let's say a girl wants to date you and keeps coming up and talking to you, but you do not want to date her. How would you act?
I'm asking because this aspie guy I had a huge crush on just recently got a girlfriend. But before this, he would stare at me every time he saw me. I would be sitting in class and feel someone out of the corner of my eye looking at me. And I would turn and sure enough, he would be staring. And he wouldn't look away when I caught him, but would just keep staring straight into my eyes. And I was the only person he did this to, as far as I could tell. He usually doesn't look at anyone. But I've been told that it's unusual for someone with Asperger's to stare directly into someone's eyes like that, is that true?
To make a long story short, we had a few really awkward conversations and after that he started to avoid me. He would walk away really fast whenever he knew I was coming up behind him. That made me think he really didn't like me...but he would still stare, so I didn't understand what was going on with him.
Another girl started hanging around him so I just asked him what was going on and he said he was dating her now. I asked him why he kept staring at me and he denied it and said that he never had! Then he said he was sorry if he made me think that and wasn't trying to hurt my feelings. So guys tell me, why would you stare at a girl that you didn't like?
I read your other threads regarding him and I don't understand why you're so convinced he's on the spectrum. Maybe he's playing some kind of weird game or maybe you've been misreading signals. It doesn't sound like he's interested, imo. Either way, he's dating somebody now so it's probably not something you should continue to obsess over.
nick007
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I've been accused of staring at people in school especially at girls when I never was. I just looked like I was when I really was daydreaming or whatever. Perhaps that's whats going on with that guy.
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He probably used to have a crush on you but he felt like you didn't like him back so he moved on and this girl happened to come along and he's now dating her.
This happens quite often. That's why when you like someone, you show some interest and see if they show some interest back. The last thing you want is for your crush to think you don't like them back. Either that or you never make a move and they get tired and move on. Reject is usually better then regret.
Yes i'm talking to you guys and girls who are too afraid to make a move. The sooner you conquer these fears, the better.
I'm asking because this aspie guy I had a huge crush on just recently got a girlfriend. But before this, he would stare at me every time he saw me. I would be sitting in class and feel someone out of the corner of my eye looking at me. And I would turn and sure enough, he would be staring. And he wouldn't look away when I caught him, but would just keep staring straight into my eyes. And I was the only person he did this to, as far as I could tell. He usually doesn't look at anyone. But I've been told that it's unusual for someone with Asperger's to stare directly into someone's eyes like that, is that true?
To make a long story short, we had a few really awkward conversations and after that he started to avoid me. He would walk away really fast whenever he knew I was coming up behind him. That made me think he really didn't like me...but he would still stare, so I didn't understand what was going on with him.
Another girl started hanging around him so I just asked him what was going on and he said he was dating her now. I asked him why he kept staring at me and he denied it and said that he never had! Then he said he was sorry if he made me think that and wasn't trying to hurt my feelings. So guys tell me, why would you stare at a girl that you didn't like?
Possibly he is shy and is dating someone else who made a obvious move on him. I could easily see a younger version of myself in his position.
AnonymousAnonymous
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@ OP: I myself have been in a similar situation as you for a while now. Since the beginning of the year, I have been avoiding this girl who always stares at me every time she sees me at church. Although her mother seems like a nice person because she is a reader at church, I often wonder why she {the girl} stares at me and not boys her own age. The girl appears to be no older than 16, while I myself am 24. As much as I'd like to tell her mother to control her daughter, I don't want to come off as rude.
As for you and the guy who stares at you, just ignore the guy and he will move on with himself.
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Yes he was probably pretty shy and too scared to make a move on you because he wasn't 100% sure you liked him back. If you think about it, it's actually pretty funny. Two shy people who both have feelings for one another are too scared to make a move because they both feel like the other person doesn't like them back and as a result, they both move on. This is probably pretty common.
This "other girl" comes along who happens to like him and shes not so shy and maybe she initiates the move on him. Him realizing that this girl clearly likes him, breaks out of his shell and she either asks him out or he gets over his nerves and asks her out.
Long story story if you never try to at least show some interest in your crush, then you won't ever stand a chance if they're at shy as you. Plus even if they aren't initially attracted to you, they could start to develop some feelings towards you if you actually try interacting with them. You don't have to go in strong, just take it easy at first and let their feelings for you develop. That "dream guy" or "dream girl" could realistically be yours but you have to break out of your shell before its too late and they walk away and out of your life forever.
Hoggy
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I think he must have liked you. People often end up staring at there crush and they might not even realise it. I was on the opposite side of it I liked this girl nothing ever happened, I was chatting with my friend and something about who we each liked came up. He told me who I liked before I even told him, I asked how he knew and his answers was he knew for a good time from the way I would look at her.
I agree with darkphantomx1. Start showing some interest in the people you like, try go on dates etc Don’t just wait for the other person to start it, you’ll just end up with the same thing happening again. I think being rejected a couple of times is much better then not knowing or having two people waiting/not having the confidence etc to make the move.
With the example above, I did end up telling the girl etc. Nothing happened and were still close friends.
If i wasn't interested in a girl, and someone did like me i would just tell them but that would depend on if they were being pretty direct about it. Im not too sure what i would do if they were just hinting at it etc. Everybody is different though of course there isn't just some rulebook,what one person might do can be completely opposite to the next. So its not much of an answer to your original question.