Can't stop thinking about a guy... kill me

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Does anyone have any tactics they can share when they simply CANNOT stop thinking about someone, and they don't enjoy anything in life because their thoughts are plagued by this person?

I can see the logical side of it, this person does not want to know me. I could deal with that if I could just stop thinking about him.

I need serious help. But where to look?

Male escort .

Books about thoughts.

Learn to Be Present.. to focus your thoughts on the present moment vs. thinking about this guy, or anything else for that matter.

But if you simply cannot possibly think about him less, at least utilize your thoughts about him to your benefit. ie Think thoughts about him that make you happy vs. depressed or anxious & appreciate that thoughts about him can make you feel good. If your thoughts about him don't make you feel good, then you need to change the thoughts you're having about him & your thoughts about those thoughts... but all of that is if you really Must think about him at all - because ideally you'd learn to control your thoughts better than that and not be fixated on thinking about him vs. simply Being Present instead.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Wow, a gold-fish beat me to the punch with sound advice, that I didn't really think to mention initially, because I was originally going to say to just go and bitch-slap that guy, for always being in your thoughts !

Anyway, yeah, just focus on replaying only the types of thoughts in your mind as to why he's not worth of you if your mind insists on thinking about him, and I am sure that, with enough practice, you can pull it off ! I did this with my original so-called soul-mate for various reasons due to some painful "OMG-kill-me-kill-me-NOW!! !!" experiences and have to say it eventually worked wonders for self-worth. Keeping this short so I don't end up writing out walls-of-text...

You're thinking about him because he's a "challenge."

This is so classic!

Why do you think he doesn't want to get to know you? You're an attractive person--with probably a pretty accent to boot.

Ugh. I had the same issues where I irrationally obsessed about someone who was not interested and would not have been a good fit anyway. As best I can tell from speaking with a counselor, it ties into deeper self-worth issues left over from childhood and that's just how it manifests as an adult. Like many fellow Aspies, I am sure you can relate to facing tons of "irrational" rejection from others as a child.

I've been in similar situations and know how awful it can be.

I found that it is worsened by glorified, idealized perceptions of the object of my affliction... err... I mean "affection". I found this exercise sometimes helps:

Take a piece of ruled notebook paper and draw a big vertical line down the middle. Then on the left side list things about the person I like, one per line.

Now here is the important part: on the right side list things about the person I dislike, or at least that I am not overly fond of. Again, one per line. I keep going until the number of negative things equals the number of positive things. This part is not easy, but with some objective reflection I have found that I can make them equal out.

I find that this exercise helps me regain a sense of "object constancy" and let go of being overwhelmed by my idealized perceptions of them.

Hey, she really actually is actually attractive, and has a British-dialect, too !

<decides to approach hale_bopp & puts my arms around her & gazes into her eyes & also slowly combs my fingers gently down through her hair repeatèdly as I say in a hypnosis-inducing fashion to her>
...nevermind that other guy, just enjoy yourself for now by thinking about me instead, and being unable to stop thinking about me is a lot more fun & feels much better than being unable to stop thinking about any of the other guys anyway... You know you would rather think about me than think about some other guy ! ;D

Obviously, I don't know you personally.

But you seem okay to me.

I think the guy is missing out on much, IMHO.

You have artistic talents--which I'm jealous of (not a bad jealous).

You're very attractive physically.

You seem to be someone who likes to debate things--but what's wrong with that--as long as you don't use obfuscating tactics while debating.

Argh, I hate having this obsessiveness about people, it used to make me so anxious.

Nowadays I just accept that I have them and that I can't really control my brainwaves.

If you accept is probably not about them, but your idea of them that might help. Don't fight the feeling, fight the obsession by interrupting it consistently and directing to focus elsewhere.

Feelings are what they are, you can choose to attach information to them or not.

rdos I disagree with your premise. I also think it is quite patronising to talk of "nuerodiverse relationship issues" as if it has specific characteristics, when nuerodiversity includes everything under the sun. You shouldn't make assumptions about people you have pigeon holed. You also shouldn't assume that hale isn't capable of shortening the life of the obsession, even if it is a challenge. This is completely different thing, from any other relationship issues she may have, it actually about thought patterns and behaviors, not interpersonal interactions.

Besides, the fact that hale asked, means she wants to do something about it, so therefore it is a problem to her.

Are you using 'obsession' as a contentious word? In which case, lets be clear, obsessions can be good and bad. There is no carte blanche for any behaviour regardless of nuerotype. She is not doing anything wrong but may want to move on.