The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
The thing is, if you are a competent neuroscientist, you cannot show off that to a potential date. In fact, most competencies will not show off to random strangers, and about the only exceptions will be music and maybe acting. That's probably why evolution invented confidence.
Yes you can, if you tell her (not lying) that you are a recognized professor in neuroscience or a neuroscience researcher in some recognized research institution, making peer-reviewed researchers for instance or having a career in such applied sciences for instance..etc.
Sure you don't have to show her tables and formulas, but she can still tell whether you are something real in that field or a poser even if she's not specialized in such field.
For example if I am dating an Accountant woman and she tells me that she works as a Chief Accountant for 5 years and has a CPA degree then I would assume she is competent at it, even if I am not seeing her work and even if I don't have deep understanding in accounting. How can I know that? Because she wouldn't have lasted if she wasn't, she's being constantly evaluated by others, by her employer, by the her auditors, by the gov's auditors..etc.
That would be the case for most fields.
Now we are mixing-up NT and ND concepts. What you talk about above is the social status of being a neuroscientist, not confidence itself. If you follow the ND route of courtship, then you will never have the talk about your social status at all, so therefore in that context it doesn't matter if culture values your competence or not. In fact, it appears that ND relationship preferences of showing off competence have been hi-jacked by NT culture, and then a few NDs with extraordinary skills have gained very high social status. But in the original ND context, you don't compare competence with others. It's part of a show off procedure that naturally is nonverbal.
Personally, if a girl asked me about my social status, I'd regard that as breaking the rules, and I would not be likely to continue showing interest in her. I'd never bring that subject up myself either.