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Creepshamed and felt like an outcast

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The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jul 2016, 8:15 am

androbot01 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
As you see, some users there quickly called him jerk and as*hole, even tho we don't have enough information, maybe the OP there is asking him in a bad tone, I dunno.

Yeah, I feel for the guy. I wouldn't have done the dishes either.


ummm......warning before report: 1



Alliekit
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12 Jul 2016, 8:45 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It's funny no one objects when users here bash the men who their female partners are complaining about on this board.

EXAMPLE: viewtopic.php?t=323365

As you see, some users there quickly called him jerk and as*hole, even tho we don't have enough information, maybe the OP there is asking him in a bad tone, I dunno.

WP logic is getting very obvious:

Bashing a woman that a male user is complaining about = Sin!

Bashing a man that a female user is complaining about = OK!! ! Let's bash him all! Yoohoo!


It's not like it's all women doing the bashing though. Alot of the guys do it too.

I had a post about my boyfriends friend (who is a nice guy) and how to deal with him and everybody started being horrible about him. And when I defended him people had a go at me .

Although in that post breaking a door is excessive and could be scary. Certainly if it was my bf I'd be frightened. If it were a woman who had broken the door because of dishes I'd feel the same



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jul 2016, 8:49 am

Quote:
Quote:
It's funny no one objects when users here bash the men who their female partners are complaining about on this board.



As you see, some users there quickly called him jerk and as*hole, even tho we don't have enough information, maybe the OP there is asking him in a bad tone, I dunno.

WP logic is getting very obvious:

Bashing a woman that a male user is complaining about = Sin!

Bashing a man that a female user is complaining about = OK!! ! Let's bash him all! Yoohoo!


It's not like it's all women doing the bashing though. Alot of the guys do it too.

I had a post about my boyfriends friend (who is a nice guy) and how to deal with him and everybody started being horrible about him. And when I defended him people had a go at me .

Although in that post breaking a door is excessive and could be scary. Certainly if it was my bf I'd be frightened. If it were a woman who had broken the door because of dishes I'd feel the same


That only proves me point:

Bashing a woman that a male user is complaining about = Sin!

Bashing a man that a female user is complaining about = OK!! ! Let's bash him all! Yoohoo!



Alliekit
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12 Jul 2016, 8:55 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
Quote:
It's funny no one objects when users here bash the men who their female partners are complaining about on this board.



As you see, some users there quickly called him jerk and as*hole, even tho we don't have enough information, maybe the OP there is asking him in a bad tone, I dunno.

WP logic is getting very obvious:

Bashing a woman that a male user is complaining about = Sin!

Bashing a man that a female user is complaining about = OK!! ! Let's bash him all! Yoohoo!


It's not like it's all women doing the bashing though. Alot of the guys do it too.

I had a post about my boyfriends friend (who is a nice guy) and how to deal with him and everybody started being horrible about him. And when I defended him people had a go at me .

Although in that post breaking a door is excessive and could be scary. Certainly if it was my bf I'd be frightened. If it were a woman who had broken the door because of dishes I'd feel the same


That only proves me point:

Bashing a woman that a male user is complaining about = Sin!

Bashing a man that a female user is complaining about = OK!! ! Let's bash him all! Yoohoo!


There was a post about a girl who was rejected by a guy who goes after loads of people. People had a go at her for being bitter about it



catunderfoot
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12 Jul 2016, 9:28 am

I'm just gonna err... choose to ignore the gender-warring... these arguments give me anxiety. AHHHHHHH. :P


She may have considered you a "creep" the entire time and was just being nice the first time she saw you. Or maybe she didn't think you were creepy initially, but something in your demeanor changed things without you realizing it. Or she didn't really want to be friends with you, she thought you were just making conversation the first time and was startled to see you again.

I know that when I talk to people I tend to freak them out, especially in a case like yours where you're making attempts to talk to girls and it might be nerve-wracking. She may have noticed your nervousness or if you were hesitant or stilted in talking, and drawn some sort of conclusion from it. People always notice my anxiety and it makes them anxious, too. They don't like it. They might think you're hiding something or you're about to "do something."

I don't know why she would report you for harassment if that is all that you did, even if she DID think you were being creepy. I understand the perspective of being a female and being talked to by men you aren't interested in, or who only seem interested in a date, or whatever else... But I don't know why she wouldn't just find a way to walk away from you or something. It's not all that hard to leave a conversation, especially at a con. If she was with friends, they may have egged her on to do it. Groups of people are worse than individuals...

Sometimes people are just plain, well, mean about those things. If you come off as "weird" at all, they sharpen the knives. Who can say where it went wrong? But if you didn't say anything inappropriate to her, I think she was being a crummy person to report you over it. Avoid you? Sure, that's her right, but reporting is a step too far if she just didn't wanna talk to you anymore. I'm sorry that happened.



Patrick64
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12 Jul 2016, 9:40 am

Not too mention not picking up nonverbal cues that express "leave me alone".

Some people just assume you will pick up on cues naturally.

But yeah, I'm avoiding her completely as I don't trust her. Blocked on facebook, and never talking to her or even seeing her again.



kraftiekortie
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12 Jul 2016, 10:09 am

There's other chicks out there.....



XFilesGeek
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12 Jul 2016, 10:46 am

Nutty woman is nutty.

It's entirely possible that you inadvertently did something that "creeped her out," but, seeing how it was unintentional, it's nothing to feel bad about.


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12 Jul 2016, 11:38 am

Barchan wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
My idiot detection is going off the rails!! ! Seriously, the way some of you will just defend any female no matter what the situation is; is troubling.

Oh, pardon me. I just thought that a woman has the right to her privacy, and to not have cameras thrust at her just because a man likes her outfit. My mistake. (sarcasm)

And I was under the impression, that people take pictures at conventions and she didn't have to report him sicne he never actually harassed her. Also judging by your avatar, are you Muslim?



CommanderKeen
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12 Jul 2016, 11:41 am

androbot01 wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
Yeah, because there are no women who are psychotic. *rolls eyes*

I'm not sure what about the above offends me more:

- the suggestion that the woman in this anecdote must be mentally ill to feel threatened. I don't think Patrick was necessarily behaving in a threatening way (there is not enough information,) but to jump to dismissing her concerns as paranoiac is a little over-the-top.

- or, because I am mentally ill. Slurs for people with mental health issues get thrown around way too dismissively sometimes. If the woman in the anecdote is mentally ill, shouldn't we feel bad for her?

I don't think the bashing of the woman is at all necessary. The incident should be a learning experience, nothing more. As the OP mentioned and I have experienced in my own life, sometimes autistic people make social errors and come off as creepy. But there's no reason to get angry at the person who misunderstood us, it's just part of the process of exploring the neurotypical world.

You stated that there is usually a reason for women to be upset, implying that men are at fault most of the time. This also implies that women are rarely at fault. This isn't the case. Having a certain set of genitals does not make one immune to being in the wrong, despite what some members here think.



CommanderKeen
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12 Jul 2016, 11:51 am

Alliekit wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
Barchan wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
Thinking more on this, this is REALLY stupid on her part. Lets dress up for a convention and not want people to take notice of the cosplay, wtf.


My misogyny sense is tingling...

My idiot detection is going off the rails!! ! Seriously, the way some of you will just defend any female no matter what the situation is; is troubling. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if some of you defend women whom have literally castrated men.


To be a bit fair though anyone should be able to dress up at a convention because you want to. It doesn't mean you want attention it's because you want to be that character for the day.

Also both of you stop antagonising eachother :roll:

Even if that IS the case, it's not right to just report someone when they did nothing wrong. That is a serious accusation. False accusations NEED to be taken seriously. What if he would have been kicked out of the convention and no longer able to attend just because some girl doesn't know how to handle situations in public. If you can't handle being in certain social situations, you shouldn't put yourself out there like that. Society is not going to cater to you, that's what a lot of members on this forum don't get. I'm not saying you don't get that, I believe you do. Others here don't and there is a strong bias with female members that see situations as always being the guy's fault.



Barchan
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12 Jul 2016, 3:19 pm

CommanderKeen wrote:
If you can't handle being in certain social situations, you shouldn't put yourself out there like that.


Wow.



CommanderKeen
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12 Jul 2016, 3:23 pm

Barchan wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
If you can't handle being in certain social situations, you shouldn't put yourself out there like that.


Wow.

That's all you got? I could say wow in relation to you. If you are indeed Muslim, yet you accuse me of being sexist; that's so stupid it's laughable.



CommanderKeen
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12 Jul 2016, 3:25 pm

MODS ^ she started with me. If you ban me over this and following comments, that proves that you have a bias. So, unless she stops I will continue. You may want to lock this thread now before it gets more out of hand.



McCat
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12 Jul 2016, 4:05 pm

Patrick64, sorry that happened and you feel so bad about it. We all have had situations like that. It's awful. It makes you question yourself, but maybe there was something going on you don't know about.

But you are asking about this specific situation, so..

- Did you make photos of any of her friends as well or did you just wanted her picture?
- Did you first mention she had a great costume or did you just asked for a picture?
- You only met her the day before right? Did you spend time together or was it just short and casual? Could it be she found it weird to see you again like you were following her?
- Was she your age of was she a lot younger?

Maybe these are things to think about.

But maybe you should just forget it and go on. NT-ers can be weird you know! :heart:



Barchan
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12 Jul 2016, 4:08 pm

CommanderKeen wrote:
That's all you got? I could say wow in relation to you. If you are indeed Muslim, yet you accuse me of being sexist; that's so stupid it's laughable.

Now you're starting to be a bit abusive. The Islam-bashing here is off-topic and uncalled for. You might think Muslims are misogynists, but I think that's just another bigoted stereotype inflicted by an unsympathetic media.