I don't understand why I can't get a woman! [! SATIRE !]

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TwilightPrincess
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03 Apr 2023, 8:01 pm

^ Having her talk about her PTSD/trauma could also instill false feelings of intimacy which is always helpful. Make sure that you pretend to actually care even though your interest is only sexual.


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IsabellaLinton
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03 Apr 2023, 8:09 pm

- Say the exact same things to every target girl woman you fancy, so you won't slip up and say anything original.

- Make sure you play just enough headgames with her sanity to make her insecure, but not enough that she'll know you're just a sick bastard toying with her mind.

- Forget her birthday every single year or better yet, mix it up with another woman every single year.

- Go on holiday with other people so you'll look like you have a social life, but insult those people 24/7.


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funeralxempire
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03 Apr 2023, 8:13 pm

I peed. :oops:


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FleaOfTheChill
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03 Apr 2023, 8:21 pm

Here's some of what I did. Now I get all the gfs I want.

1. Order a rack off amazon. They aren't just medieval torture devices. They can stretch you out to give you those sweet sweet inches we all know females love. You'll be 711 before you know it.

2. Voodoo. I ordered a lust potion from doc zabbadabbadoo and now I'm the one who's getting restraining orders. I even had a bunch of prostitutes trying to get me to have sex with them for free. I did it and totally showed my entire jr high how cool I was with that one. Booo yah. Showed them.

3. Talk loud all the time. It doesn't matter what you say or if it makes sense. Nothing to say? Compensate for lack of content with volume. It asserts your authority and we all know that 99.98610284628248% females like alphas and hate betas. I read that statistic somewhere so it's true.

4. Go to the gym every day for 9.25 hours. Don't enjoy it. This is serious and all about gettin some. Also only work on your chest and arms. Legs, cardio, all that crap is for suckers. Don't be a sucker and waste your time. Females only care about big biceps and how you look without a shirt on.

5. Get a kick ass car. They make you more manly. I got a 76 camaro and my junk grew five inches overnight. Now when I'm around other men, they start getting low to the ground like the busted dogs they are. They respect my authority and superiority and females worship that.



TwilightPrincess
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03 Apr 2023, 8:30 pm

Buy and ingest some of those penis lengthening supplements. Then convince yourself that they are actually working.


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IsabellaLinton
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03 Apr 2023, 8:34 pm

- Make it clear that you hate all the other girls her age because of a totally unrelated person, but reinforce that you REALLY TRULY like HER, and none of that hate stuff applies because she's different

- Keep at it everywhere you go so she'll never feel forgotten. Make contact from work, home, school, Sunday walks in the park, public transport, car parks, youth hostels, funerals, etc.

- Message her friends even if you don't know them and they have no idea who you are.

- Tell her you're her protector and you have been for YEARS!! :heart: How could she forget?

- Accuse her of things or defame her character, so she'll have to contact you to defend herself.

- Start some smear campaigns but make her sign gag orders so she won't tell on you!

- Decide whether she's an angel or a whore, because of course there's no middle ground.

- Let her know ahead of time all the ways you make other women scream, even if cops are nearby!

- "Around the World" -- figure that out and use it as your secret weapon, especially in outer space.

- Look for hidden messages in everything she says or does -- maybe she secretly likes you after all?


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IsabellaLinton
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03 Apr 2023, 8:42 pm

- If she has a boyfriend, ask how big his penis is and how often they have sex

- Ask her to describe all of their sex positions and locations

- Message her when you know she's with him! (Maybe you can interrupt things!)

- Say that her boyfriend is really, really lucky!


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IsabellaLinton
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03 Apr 2023, 8:50 pm

- Spam her with thousands of messages until her Inbox shuts down

- Don't ever ask how she is -- just talk about your loneliness

- If she doesn't reply, say that you DON'T wish her well

- Maybe hurl some f-bombs at her and her friends for emphasis

- Then host a pity party because they won't talk to you!

- Tell everyone SHE doesn't wish YOU well! -- It might get her attention

- Sue her in court a few times for not loving you

- Don't worry about bathing or hygiene because you'll have a restraining order anyway!


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Misslizard
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03 Apr 2023, 8:54 pm

Peep in her window ,just to show you care.Drive by her house often, it’s to keep her safe.Maybe park up the road every now and then.You can never be too careful with your love interest.They need 24/7 attention.
Pop a porno in the dvd , of course she will want to watch it.Ask her if you can photograph her nude, sure you won’t show any one or post it online.
Be sure and flirt with all her friends and try to touch them inappropriately.They won’t mind, why they even like it and were asking for it.They really want a three-some.Maybe suggest it.
When she says no ,she really means yes.
If she starts yelling , slap her a little.No one wants to hear that hysterical stuff.


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TwilightPrincess
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03 Apr 2023, 9:16 pm

- just focus on sexual things you enjoy. If you like it, she's sure to like it too, right? As a matter of fact, tell her what she likes.


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IsabellaLinton
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03 Apr 2023, 9:31 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
- just focus on sexual things you enjoy. If you like it, she's sure to like it too, right? As a matter of fact, tell her what she likes.



- That's such a good point! Tell her how much she trusts you, too!

- Go for autistic chicks because they're pretty naive and can't make inferences like NT's

- Make sure you isolate her so she won't confide in any friends until she's already yours!


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The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Apr 2023, 10:05 pm

Obviously the OP and the replies are sarcasm of recent banned user’s posts.

But you are all (the ones being sarcastic) doing alex a big disservice, Google crawlers can’t detect sarcasm (not yet at least) so they will associate WP with groups that you wouldn’t wish to be associated with.



IsabellaLinton
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03 Apr 2023, 10:14 pm

I can't speak for the OP but I don't think this has to do with any specific users, banned or not.

For me this is an honest account of stuff I've encountered as a woman.

If it's offensive to anyone I apologise for my comments but please realise it's offensive to us as women too, when we're treated this way. It's not uncommon at all whether it's online or not.

If CF wants to delete the thread I think we'd all understand, but there's no harm in sharing our points of view.

The opposite points of view are presented here and on other sites on a regular basis, without apology and very little concern for how it makes women feel.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Apr 2023, 10:17 pm

The owner/mods here can’t fix the content in other sites in the wild west of the internet.



IsabellaLinton
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03 Apr 2023, 10:25 pm

Of course not. I wouldn't expect them to. I think they could allow women to have a voice about how it feels to have internet predators trolling them, though. Same with "real life" men trolling them. It's scary stuff. I realise it might make some people uncomfortable but like I said earlier, lots of posts and messages and actions make women uncomfortable too, so I'm just bringing awareness to it. Maybe writing it in an ironic tone (as a joke) will catch more people's attention. When we write in the haven about these types of things they aren't always taken seriously. We've even been told to leave Love & Dating and to stick to the women's forum where men wouldn't have to hear our concerns or do anything to support us.

Just saying.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Apr 2023, 10:28 pm

Harm started, Google crawlers are fast.

Image


It is not even a personalized result

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