IsabellaLinton wrote:
Another issue for me -
When I'm with women irl I feel more of a pressure that I'm supposed to act like them, at least to a certain extent, because of my gender. Most of the women I know are NT and I just can't act like them. I know we're all individuals and all that stuff. Even if they aren't judging me, I'm acutely aware of how different I am to them in my mannerisms, my behaviour, my speech, my everything. Even if they don't mind, I still notice and I feel ... alien or different like I don't fit in, or don't want to fit in.
When I'm with men (or NB people), I don't feel that way. They wouldn't expect me to act like a man, and I wouldn't feel awkward for not being manly. They might find me enigmatic because I'm not like men but I'm also not like (most) women, but for the most part men don't make me feel uncomfortable like I need to fit in with them.
Personally, I tend to prefer mixed gender groups.
I don't really feel pressure to perform for other women in that way, however I do feel a little awkward when I'm new to groups and there is an expectation that I like men. When there's various nudges and winks of 'Oh he's cute' or 'I was distracted by him if you know what I mean'.
Even though I've been out for a while, I do wonder whether to just awkwardly agree, laugh, or mention it casually or what to do exactly. Usually I go with a noncommittal laugh at first and hope there's no follow up questions. I want to be able to relate and make small talk, but I can't fully.
I think that there is sort of an expectation for me to 'be like one of the guys' with people I'm out to, even though I'm fairly feminine presenting. I'm used to being called bro or dude and people assuming that I must not like interests such as musicals or fashion. Which I can I assure you I do. I also enjoy violent video games because there's no rule to say you can't like both.
I definitely felt uncomfortable in my last job because the men there would call each other women as an insult. As the only full-time woman there... I very much felt out of place. There was also a lot of dramatic sighing when people would address the group. "Alright lads... and... *sigh* Wo...Lass? Woman". I mean at that point I'd rather be an honorary lad if it's so awkward.
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24. Possibly B.A.P.