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I got invited to Jonathan's apartment!! !

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Mikurotoro92
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27 Feb 2024, 8:34 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
DanielW wrote:
My point is you don't sound like you are emotionally ready to deal with a lot of real-life consequences of a sexual relationship. Things like STI's, pregnancy, motherhood, birth control etc.


Yeah going to the OBGYN for a Pap smear doesn't sound fun...

But I miss the kissing and foreplay

If I really do get Jonathan over here this weekend and he is up for it we might just start with kissing and other kinds of foreplay

We can be in bed together but no getting naked!

That still counts as sex right?

Or does it have to be penetrative?


Penetrative is one type of sex, you can also give or receive oral which can be considered a form of sex.

Simply being in bed with another person and not getting naked doesn't amount to sex. Even sharing a bed naked with someone isn't sex, either.


Oral sex is just kissing right?

That might be okay


The following link may help enlighten you:

Show Spoiler


I don't think I am comfortable with a man looking at my vagina

So penetrative sex is out!

Just want to start off fully-clothed touching and kissing first


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funeralxempire
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28 Feb 2024, 12:10 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:

I don't think I am comfortable with a man looking at my vagina

So penetrative sex is out!

Just want to start off fully-clothed touching and kissing first


From the sounds of things it seems like your boundaries are a lot closer to making out than to having sex.

Don't let things go further than you're comfortable with. Ideally, don't let things go further than you're emotionally equipped to deal with, but since that's easier said than done, don't feel rushed.

Generally speaking manual stimulation (fingering/handjob, whether mutual or not) wouldn't be considered sex by any definition, same goes for any sort of outercourse.


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Mikurotoro92
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28 Feb 2024, 12:16 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:

I don't think I am comfortable with a man looking at my vagina

So penetrative sex is out!

Just want to start off fully-clothed touching and kissing first


From the sounds of things it seems like your boundaries are a lot closer to making out than to having sex.

Don't let things go further than you're comfortable with. Ideally, don't let things go further than you're emotionally equipped to deal with, but since that's easier said than done, don't feel rushed.

Generally speaking manual stimulation (fingering/handjob, whether mutual or not) wouldn't be considered sex by any definition, same goes for any sort of outercourse.


Yeah I have done making out before

I would be willing to have sex if I was okay with a man looking at my vagina, I didn't mind being naked and didn't fear pregnancy

In order to get on birth control I would have to get a Pap smear at the OBGYN which doesn't sound fun


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28 Feb 2024, 12:21 am

Getting Pap smears is not fun. However, I don't think you need a Pap smear or internal pelvic exam before starting birth control pills although meeting with your doctor to talk about sex and birth control options is a good idea. When I was first prescribed birth control pills for female issues I was having, I don't think the doctor performed an internal exam, just an external one, on account of being a virgin. I vaguely remember her mentioning it. She said that in that situation they don't do that stuff unless there's a problem.


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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 28 Feb 2024, 12:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

Mikurotoro92
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28 Feb 2024, 12:41 am

Okay that changes things!

Still gotta get used to being naked in front of a man and putting his dick in my vagina

I should start slow then with fully-clothed kissing and touching


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TwilightPrincess
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28 Feb 2024, 12:42 am

I'm not 100% sure about the Pap smear thing. It's something to talk to your doctor about.


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28 Feb 2024, 12:44 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Okay that changes things!

Still gotta get used to being naked in front of a man and putting his dick in my vagina


It might not be a bad idea to be familiar with putting something in there yourself before letting someone else put something in there.


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Mikurotoro92
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28 Feb 2024, 12:47 am

So I need to STAY AWAY from penetrative sex if I don't want a Pap smear?

I think this thread should be moved to "Adult Autism Issues" since it deals with sex


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TwilightPrincess
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28 Feb 2024, 1:19 am

Hmm... I wonder if information has changed. According to this link, you're supposed to get Pap smears from when you are 21 whether you are sexually active or not.

Either way, it's something to talk to your doctor about.


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28 Feb 2024, 1:26 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Okay that changes things!

Still gotta get used to being naked in front of a man and putting his dick in my vagina


It might not be a bad idea to be familiar with putting something in there yourself before letting someone else put something in there.

Yeah, it might be a good idea.


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28 Feb 2024, 3:28 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Getting Pap smears is not fun. However, I don't think you need a Pap smear or internal pelvic exam before starting birth control pills although meeting with your doctor to talk about sex and birth control options is a good idea. When I was first prescribed birth control pills for female issues I was having, I don't think the doctor performed an internal exam, just an external one, on account of being a virgin. I vaguely remember her mentioning it. She said that in that situation they don't do that stuff unless there's a problem.
My gf had a birth-control implant put in her arm a couple times & she never had a pap done. The docs did do pregnancy test first two times but not the last. The doc tried to do a pap once for part of her physical but Cass can not handle it. She has the implant for reasons other than preventing pregnancy since we haven't had sex in an extremely long time.


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28 Feb 2024, 3:46 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:

I don't think I am comfortable with a man looking at my vagina

So penetrative sex is out!

Just want to start off fully-clothed touching and kissing first


This seems contradictory to what you've mentioned in this thread and others.

Men are going to see absolutely everything personal if you want sex and vice versa.



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28 Feb 2024, 6:41 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:

I don't think I am comfortable with a man looking at my vagina

So penetrative sex is out!

Just want to start off fully-clothed touching and kissing first


From the sounds of things it seems like your boundaries are a lot closer to making out than to having sex.

Don't let things go further than you're comfortable with. Ideally, don't let things go further than you're emotionally equipped to deal with, but since that's easier said than done, don't feel rushed.

Generally speaking manual stimulation (fingering/handjob, whether mutual or not) wouldn't be considered sex by any definition, same goes for any sort of outercourse.

In my personal opinion if two people get naked and bring each other to orgasm by any means, hand, fingers, mouth, tongue, etc. it's a form of sex. Just my personal opinion though.


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MaxE
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28 Feb 2024, 6:48 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Okay that changes things!

Still gotta get used to being naked in front of a man and putting his dick in my vagina

I should start slow then with fully-clothed kissing and touching

You shouldn't try having penetrative sex until you and the guy are thoroughly familiar with each other's bodies and how they work. You should take as much time as you need to get to that point. Stories of awkward, frustrating, or worse, first time experiences always have to do with people trying to have penetrative sex the first time they get naked, so don't try it!


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Mikurotoro92
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29 Feb 2024, 10:27 pm

Jonathan is going to get me out of my current living situation!! !


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29 Feb 2024, 11:39 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Getting Pap smears is not fun.


A pap smear doesn't have to be painful or even weird, tho. I had to get one before going on HBC, & I was a virgin too. Don't go into it assuming it'll be bad/uncomfortable as that's just setting oneself up for a bad experience. Mention you haven't had sex, then request a child's speculum. I also find it helpful to have them talk about what they're doing while they're doing it (or right before). Having no idea what's going on & why is much more likely to cause me fear than being told before & while things are happening.

I've never found a pap smear to be painful. A bit awkward, yes, but I find them to be an annoying necessity. If I want access to hbc, I don't have much of a choice. Just like having to go to the doctor yearly & get blood draws for the drugs for other issues. It's annoying, but I don't get what I need if I don't play along.