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Is it ''abnormal'' for a 25 or 30 year old to be a virgin ?

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funeralxempire
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04 Mar 2024, 4:55 pm

cyberdad wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
I think the epithet "cowardly" is a terribly mean-spirited [and ultimately inappropriate] thing to say about virgins.


Anyone who calls a virgin cowardly is ignorant. Being a virgin takes a lot of courage in light of temptation.


It doesn't take any conviction to remain a virgin unless you've got opportunities to change that status.


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04 Mar 2024, 4:56 pm

Nades wrote:
It can apply to many things beside virginity so I don't see why virginity is somehow free from scrutiny.


scrutiny from whom?



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04 Mar 2024, 4:57 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
I think the epithet "cowardly" is a terribly mean-spirited [and ultimately inappropriate] thing to say about virgins.


Anyone who calls a virgin cowardly is ignorant. Being a virgin takes a lot of courage in light of temptation.


It doesn't take any conviction to remain a virgin unless you've got opportunities to change that status.


There is the social anxiety aspect (I get that) but at least for myself it was a conscious choice in the face pretty little things cavorted in front of my nose.



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04 Mar 2024, 4:57 pm

auntblabby wrote:
the aforementioned epithet also evinces ableism. "timidity" is a better word, considering your audience here.


They're synonyms.

But also, if someone refuses to ever step outside of their comfort zone they have no one but themselves to blame for never having experiences outside of their comfort zone. Nades is right that it's self-inflicted.


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04 Mar 2024, 4:58 pm

No.


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funeralxempire
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04 Mar 2024, 4:58 pm

cyberdad wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
I think the epithet "cowardly" is a terribly mean-spirited [and ultimately inappropriate] thing to say about virgins.


Anyone who calls a virgin cowardly is ignorant. Being a virgin takes a lot of courage in light of temptation.


It doesn't take any conviction to remain a virgin unless you've got opportunities to change that status.


There is the social anxiety aspect (I get that) but at least for myself it was a conscious choice in the face pretty little things cavorted in front of my nose.


You must be a special case, most of the guys who complain about being virgins until their mid-20s or later consistently mention lack of opportunity as a major contributing factor.


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04 Mar 2024, 5:05 pm

auntblabby wrote:
"personal responsibility" is a common phrase associated at least stateside, with republican ableism. it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, and i'm far from the only one. there is no real "responsibility" to avoid being a virgin, as well as to being wealthy and all the other common right-wing talking points.


Long term avoidance of stressors is known for causing all sorts of personal problems in life and can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if it goes on for a very prolonged period of time. I assume the sharp edges can be filed of if caught soon enough but it gets to a stage where even the person who avoids the stressors seems to know that it's unwise for them. Even my own mother is an example of this behaviour.

What does the republicans have to do with this?



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04 Mar 2024, 5:09 pm

Nades wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
"personal responsibility" is a common phrase associated at least stateside, with republican ableism. it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, and i'm far from the only one. there is no real "responsibility" to avoid being a virgin, as well as to being wealthy and all the other common right-wing talking points.


Long term avoidance of stressors is known for causing all sorts of personal problems in life and can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if it goes on for a very prolonged period of time. I assume the sharp edges can be filed of if caught soon enough but it gets to a stage where even the person who avoids the stressors seems to know that it's unwise for them. Even my own mother is an example of this behaviour.

What does the republicans have to do with this?

because we have a whole political party that thinks this way lock-step.



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04 Mar 2024, 5:14 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Nades wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
"personal responsibility" is a common phrase associated at least stateside, with republican ableism. it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, and i'm far from the only one. there is no real "responsibility" to avoid being a virgin, as well as to being wealthy and all the other common right-wing talking points.


Long term avoidance of stressors is known for causing all sorts of personal problems in life and can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if it goes on for a very prolonged period of time. I assume the sharp edges can be filed of if caught soon enough but it gets to a stage where even the person who avoids the stressors seems to know that it's unwise for them. Even my own mother is an example of this behaviour.

What does the republicans have to do with this?

because we have a whole political party that thinks this way lock-step.


..........The republicans believe that avoiding stressors for long periods of time can exacerbate pre-existing anxiety as people get older?

Lol wut?



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04 Mar 2024, 5:35 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Nades wrote:
It can apply to many things beside virginity so I don't see why virginity is somehow free from scrutiny.


scrutiny from whom?


From anyone. I don't understand why it's acceptable to say someone's fear of flying or refusal to learn to drive is irrational assuming they have no underlying reasons for their fear, yet somehow mentioning a fear of losing virginity being irrational despite no underlying reasons is judgmental.

Some people are just naturally anxious and they need to realise that what many people do with ease won't come naturally to them and they'll need to give themselves more of a push. The problem starts when they fail to analyse the situation and just hide instead.

There really are people who just refuse to step outside their comfort zone as funeral said and I don't see the purpose it serves by pretending they don't exist. I've seen plenty of them including one virgin.



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04 Mar 2024, 6:10 pm

Losing one's virginity requires getting the cooperation of another person to bring their most private body parts into contact with yours. It's amazing anybody loses their virginity except by some form of coercion, yet it would seem most people have. I don't see where "normal" plays into this.


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04 Mar 2024, 6:10 pm

Nades wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Nades wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
"personal responsibility" is a common phrase associated at least stateside, with republican ableism. it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, and i'm far from the only one. there is no real "responsibility" to avoid being a virgin, as well as to being wealthy and all the other common right-wing talking points.


Long term avoidance of stressors is known for causing all sorts of personal problems in life and can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if it goes on for a very prolonged period of time. I assume the sharp edges can be filed of if caught soon enough but it gets to a stage where even the person who avoids the stressors seems to know that it's unwise for them. Even my own mother is an example of this behaviour.

What does the republicans have to do with this?

because we have a whole political party that thinks this way lock-step.


..........The republicans believe that avoiding stressors for long periods of time can exacerbate pre-existing anxiety as people get older?

Lol wut?

in a word, yes. every repubber I know thinks that way, my family is chock full of 'em.



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04 Mar 2024, 6:21 pm

The easiest way to have sex and lose your virginity is to get married

I'm serious!

Because marriage (or co-habitation) means living with someone which makes sex easier to accomplish

Part of the reason I am so anxious to get married


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04 Mar 2024, 6:22 pm

to be fair there are some sexless marriages out there.



Mikurotoro92
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04 Mar 2024, 6:28 pm

True

But you don't have to be married to experience sex it just makes it easier to accomplish

All it might take for me is to just spend the night at Jonathan or another man's house once I become his girlfriend!! ! :heart: :heart: :heart:


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04 Mar 2024, 6:35 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Nades wrote:

..........The republicans believe that avoiding stressors for long periods of time can exacerbate pre-existing anxiety as people get older?

Lol wut?

in a word, yes. every repubber I know thinks that way, my family is chock full of 'em.


I imagine it's quite a universal view irrespective of political alignment. I still have no idea what the republicans have to do with it.