To all Aspie women who are angry with men.
Whenever any of you makes the claim that all guys/men are like this, or that, you are utterly wrong.
The way that men treat you is more a reflection on yourself than on the gender itself but the way that women treat me is not a reflection about me or about my gender.
Sorry girls; it's not them; it's you.
Think about it; if you met an overweight or short , unattractive guy , you would treat him badly or at least you would treat him as no-existent in comparison to a handsome macho supermodel type.
If a man abandon you or treat you badly within relation , it isn't because men are unfair or jerks ; it is because you don't make him happy
That is what love is about; being with someone who makes you happy. Neither women nor men have control over who makes them happy. If someone rejects you or abandon you , they are not being judgmental, or bigoted. They are just obeying their emotional reaction to you as a person. Why should anyone tolerate a romantic partner who doesn't make them happy?
That is why aspies have so much trouble in romance; they don't understand what it is that makes others happy as well as other people do.
And if a man is unkind in his breaking-up with you; it could be because he has his own life and set of priorities that don't include you , in other term ...you are nothing for him .
PS : I believe none in what I post above .... but I think it's time to make a counter-thread , this thread is dedicated for all aspie women especially Airdarr and Miss Female (she knows herself )
sinsboldly
Veteran
Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
The way that men treat you is more a reflection on yourself than on the gender itself but the way that women treat me is not a reflection about me or about my gender.
Sorry girls; it's not them; it's you.
yes, sadly this thinking has been around for quite some time. It's called "let's blame the victim" and can be used to justify and rationalize almost any blaming behaviour.
They used to get away with saying 'when the woman gets raped it is her fault for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
If a man abandon you or treat you badly within relation , it isn't because men are unfair or jerks ; it is because you don't make him happy
Yah, I thought about it, for about 40 years! I have heard this same argument from men in the witness box at spousal abuse trials. "See what she made me do! If she would have done what I say! "
Now, they want to use the blame game to justify and rationalize and blame a whole group of people for being the cause of their own oppression.
My question is, why are you saying the man's happiness is what keeps the relationship happy and all must conform to that for a happy relationship ? Surely that is a women is choice if she does not want to be with someone that puts themself first, rather than the happiness of the relationship first. Surely she does not have to 'settle' with only 'making her man happy' so she can keep the sham going?
And if a man is unkind in his breaking-up with you; it could be because he has his own life and set of priorities that don't include you , in other term ...you are nothing for him .
and good riddance of him, then!
goodness, the cold calculation you suggest that should be the basis of a relationship with you boggles the mind!
Ladies, it is because we can have the babies ( that they protest child rearing as unworthy of a man's time and effort) that they are trying to blame the whole gender. . . at least we can spot their domination game before they spread too far.
I beg you to reconsider, LePetitPrance. . . if only for your own sanity!
I see the below remark and raise ya' one. . .
PS : I believe none in what I post above .... but I think it's time to make a counter-thread , this thread is dedicated for all aspie women especially Airdarr and Miss Female (she knows herself )[/quote]
Of course, that's got a lot to do with the fact I only spend time with men who treat me well... a strategy I highly recommend to all women.
That's the best advice that I've ever heard from a woman to women.
I've known some women who were attracted to the military/police officer type of males, and who would whine incessantly about how badly they were treated. Of course, they would never consider making any effort to date a male who wasn't the military/police officer type. So, all males were either abusive or unattractive.
You're absolutely right.
Keep in mind, though, there are also guys who date nothing but whiny, jealous, neurotic girls who constantly start fights over nothing, and then complain about THAT.
My best friend is one of those guys!
Brian003
Velociraptor
Joined: 10 Sep 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 402
Location: University of Michigan Ann Arbor
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