What can I do to show this girl that we share so many...

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common interests?

Or is there nothing? We like travelling, both prefer our mothers over our fathers, like '80s music and entertainment, can't stand people who think their doodoo don't stink, like photography, like the beach, like watching sports, and probably so many other things. Yet, I don't think she's taken the time to see all of this. She calls me a good friend and such (probably is friendzoning me) but just came off of a busy year of studying. I wish I could show her that we could be great friends and possibly a couple should she become single. If I've done all I can to show her that we share many common traits and nothing transpires between her and I, she can go have a nice life without me.

How big is your thingie? you can show her that.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 30 May 2012, 6:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

^ i am kidding, eh?

Ldub.....where are you going? nooo

I know that was a joke.

Do you go for shared interest outings? If she is sharing personal info with you she might think of you more than a friend.

You think that would work? Like if I asked to join her and some friends of hers for something we both like?

Do that if you can't get just her to go with you then at least your still in the mix.

I just thought of something me and my BF did while we were trying to find out if we were a good match. We would put links of interest in chats or emails and then we would end up discussing them in detail. If your more the type that likes to experience things maybe bring up activities with her and see if she responds enthusiastically.

Should she become single?

What, huh? She already has a boyfriend?

Why are you pining over someone who is not available? I know because people do. That is probably your biggest obstacle at the moment, if I read your post correctly.

I'd tread water, remain a friend, and stay on her radar but really, if she is not 'single', then that is all you can do for now.

In which case, absolutely she is friend zoning you. For now anyhow

Maybe you should widen your horizons? Who knows it might even get her off the fence if you start being friendly with someone else.

No. Under no circumstances should you do this.

If she has a boyfriend, and you want to EVER have a chance with her.. DO NOT BECOME HER FRIEND.

Just be a casual acquaintance, don't go out of your way to spend time with her, just make sure she sees you around.

Otherwise, I promise, you will get jumped over when the rebound happens and you will get disappointed.

I'm sorry, what?

American slang, the OP was using the polite version of, "he or she is someone who thinks his/her s**t doesn't smell"

Meaning the person is stuck up, and think they are more wonderful than the rest of the human race, basically perfect and everyone else is not.

Meaning they give themselves 'airs' and condescend to the rest of the human race. And therefore they are annoying to be around. I had a friend in college who described one of our professors like that, my college chum also told me it comes from some Italian slang, I forget the phrase. Anyone know? I too did not quite understand it the first time I heard it used. I had a sheltered childhood, what can I say. Joking.

If you find someone who agrees with you about this person, who thinks their *insert expletive*, doesn't smell, then you are bonding!

She's not available, and thinks of you as a friend.
If you value your relationship with her,
don't push for more- she's indicated her non-interest, at least at this time.

Women and men develop romantic feelings all the time for friends,
and even if this doesn't happen for one particular friend (you) at one particular time (now), it hardly makes her "stuck up"-
no one is OWED a relationship,
despite what some people here think.

$5 says you fawned over her, seemed excessively eager to please her and were *always* there for her. All 3 things you shouldn't do. Attraction isn't an option or a conscious choice, its something that happens as a physiological and psychological reaction to the social value of a target. It's why less attractive people suddenly appear very attractive next to a hideous friend. You'd think that your actions were "logical" based on what your mother, sister, other women in your life, the women (and probably 90% of the men) on this board, romantic comedies and such tell you, but all of them LIE TO YOU. They do not do it out of malice but out of ignorance, and I don't mean ignorance in a bad way.

Romance is strange. It seems that half the time it's one person longing for the other, who isn't interested at all. I don't think there's really anything to be done in most cases. People talk about chemistry, but I don't think it's chemistry (as in pheromones or whatever) so much as it's frequency. If you're transmitting on a different frequency than she's receiving on, it's not going to work out. And while I think we can change frequencies, there's one that we feel at home on, and you definitely don't want a relationship in which you have to feel not at home or not yourself all the time. There will be another girl with whom you feel more at home, who is on the same frequency and will feel at home with you. You have to just relax, be yourself, be patient (I know, no one wants that!) and let it happen when it does.

This was one of those clichés I was talking about.

I hope she doesn't share that one

In any case, things in common don't always mean attraction. Often it is just the right amount and type of contrast that creates a spark amidst the commonality. When that spark is there for one person, it's easy to assume that being very similar means the other feels the same.

Just in this past year I've had it both ways--with two girls who each had lots in common with me, in one case I was very fixated and she had no attraction, whereas in the other, she practically fell in love and I was more indifferent. In both cases, the more attracted person was perplexed at how the other could feel so similar about practically everything BUT whether we liked each other platonically or sexually. My perpetually why-asking mind is STILL trying to unravel what happened there.

In fact, while I've had cases of similar mutual interest level with women who were very different from me, the more similarities there were, invariably the more lopsided the attraction was. It's so counter-intuitive and so frustrating.