Well, okay, so now what?

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There's a girl I met on MySpace. I like her a LOT. Like, more than I have any right to. We have much in common, I think she's beautiful (and yeah, she has many pictures, and has taken more of them since I first saw her profile, so it's not a scam), and she's a fellow hopeless romantic. I sent her a message back in December; she didn't reply until January 4th, but I did sort of get the impression she liked me based on what she said. We traded more messages; she recognized that we had much in common and gave me many compliments.

I asked for her IM screen name, saying I hoped it wasn't too forward; she said that I wasn't being too forward at all and gave it to me, though she warned that she wasn't on much. After that, though, things really went downhill. She stopped answering messages I sent her, though the fact that she posts so many bulletins makes me know she's been online. Maybe she's just busy, I don't know. I just feel really impatient. I feel like, "Okay, well now what do I do?" It's frustrating because with my major crushes I ALWAYS get the feeling that they don't like me like that, and now that I do have a major crush and the girl DOES seem to like me back, it's irksome.

One thing I know is a bad idea to do is send too many messages and overdo it, but I'm still trying to give her some attention...maybe reply to a message one day...make a comment on a new blog she's written a few days later...nothing big. I think I'm just going to have to be patient. I don't know for sure if she has any attraction to me and besides, she doesn't live anywhere near me. It's just an icky situation in general.

What do you guys think?

Well, I would think that she doesn't like you as much as you like her especially if she makes time to post bulletins but not to make a quick reply to you? Maybe she was really interested at first but then got bored. I don't know. Could happen I guess.
Yeah, definitely don't send too many messages if she isn't writing you back. Some people find that weird and you definitely don't want that before you even find out if she really likes you.

whatever you do dont give her the impression you're a "nice guy". dont send a lot of messages. take a break then send her one joking about how she never writes. dont come across as needy

you see the problem with being an aspie is that were tooooo much a nice individual that when someone counters it, they'll abuse it and take all sorts of advantages.

You'll find out that if you act like more of a ass but very direct and to the point, you'll get much better results. Most girls prefer bad boy over good guy and prefer you to be little bit of an a$$hole but not a complete jerk. Train yourself and you'll get the results your looking for.

It was really hard for me to be an ass to any girl, but once I gave it a shot... I got GREAT RESULTS... then got laid...

i wasn't going to respond to this, until i saw the advice suggesting you 'be a bit of an as*hole but not a complete jerk'. wtf? bad idea!

best advice is to just be yourself. if she doesn't like you, her loss, not yours. as for the messages, just think about how you like your messages...do you like to get pestered? no. so just think about it before you are sending her something...if she doesn't respond, maybe she just doesn't feel the need to respond? was your message clearly requiring a response, or are you just hoping that she will respond because you sent her something first? i think we have all done that, send a message, want a response, but don't get one...

don't read too much into anything, though. i can't say if she likes you 'that way' or not...after all, i'm not her, and i'm also not a mind reader. as for trading messages with her, and her responses, she may just be a really friendly person who responds to random people who message her. maybe she has a lot of friends or people she trades messages with and her sending out bulletins is a way to stay in contact with everyone without having to reply to each and every message? i don't know, as i don't know the content of her bulletins nor do i have access to her 'in' box...

maybe you'll get lucky (no, not in that sense, pervs) and she actually does like you back. don't be too overwhelming towards her with your messages and such, and maybe play a little 'hard to get'...sometimes that works too.

good luck with it either way.

I realize that sounded Illogical, but chicks these days are relentless. All women want are things they cant have. Any woman can have a nice guy who takes care of them. Chicks who give into that are desperate for attention and affection. But if your bit of an as*hole and blow her off a few times... from the aspect of telling her that your busy rather then giving into her every will. She will then want to be around you all the time and as much as possible cause she diggs you but cant get to see whenever she feels like it. Give her an obsticle before allowing her to cling to you instantly

you think im making this s**t up?

I think any statement with the words 'all women are'...is only going to get you in trouble..

Do like the fella said, and look for a local girl/woman. the phone bill's lower, the gas definately is, and there's more chance for something to work.

Also, if someone is on line like that, there's competition from everyone who goes to that site. You might be in the running, but trust me, I doubt you're the only one.

Local girls? Tsh. You think I haven't looked? I don't like the girls 'round here, I'm afraid. I've made many past threads about it. Few goths, and what goth girls there are are always either horrible, taken, too old, etc. etc. etc. You'd be surprised how hard it is to find a girl who I have anything in common with, much less this much. I'm reluctant to have an online relationship; the only relationship I've ever had was one and it was hardly a picnic. But I'd make an exception for a certain someone. I mean, I get so few crushes because I'm picky. I don't demand that she looks like a supermodel, don't need her to be utterly brilliant. I just want a goth girl who is compassionate, who is someone I have things in common with, who I find visually attractive, and who is around my age. That just about narrows my list of local girls down to ZERO, before you even get into things like chemistry or whether or not she likes me back, whether or not she's taken, or whether or not she does things I can't stand like smoking or BDSM...which cancels out most goth girls in general, so to actually meet one that doesn't do that stuff and is a kind hopeless romantic is rare, even on the internet.

Also, I agree that it's just sexist to say all women of that age are all just looking to "date and f**k." Even if that were true that MOST women that age are like that, it wouldn't apply here; I don't go for typical girls. Besides, I'm not looking to get laid. I wouldn't want sex without love.

That said I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to be a little distant or mysterious from time to time in order to make someone more interested; if you reveal all your secrets right off the bat then there's no more mystery and less motivation to find out more about someone. I'm not sure it'd help at this point though; I'll try not talking to her and we'll see.

I DO think it's a bad thing to be an as*hole, though, intentionally or otherwise. There's a big difference between not always being a dormat for someone, and being an as*hole to them.