Do Aspie men tend to like strong women I know I do?

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BTW, I may be something on a different wavelength, not really aspie as much as mild autistic, but I really just want an equal. I feel reality a little too closely, notice that shyer women need stronger guys (physically I can have that, psychologically I can, but socially I can't really be domineering when I'm outmoded).

On the other hand I've had a lot of real verile alpha women who've had interest (think kind of along the angle of Pink or the girls from Decent) - the trouble there is I just feel uneasy when, as they're NT's, I can't rise up to that and give them just as firm of a social handshake back when mitigating factors aren't there for me. As much as I'm not a fan of gender role I'm conscious of it to where I couldn't stomach the idea of needing to lean on a woman; not to say I think its wrong for things to be that way but I guess I feel like I owe them too much at that point and like I would need to really subordinate a lot of myself just to respect that fact.

Equality's hard to find, as I'd imagine its hard to find equality and same expectations at the same time. Still, I'm not sure what else I'd want to shoot for. I could see myself dating a girl who has a lot more social guile at least but at the same time I'd need to really feel like I had a lot to offer her, for who she is - otherwise it feels kind of dysphoric in general whenever I'm with anyone who I'd get the sense is out of my league.

It doesn't matter to me but remember ...whether the woman is strong or weak she would always seek a man who's stronger (not only physically but also mentality/competency/personality ) than her or at least as strong as her , successful women would prefer men more successful than them , athletic women prefer athletic men , physically strong women would prefer men are physically stronger than them ....etc

This is a law of nature. So if you are attracted to strong women make sure that you are stronger than them or at least as strong as them before trying with them...otherwise the relation would be very complicated and merely abnormal.

All the time I was married to my so called Aspie, (I don't like negative labels, I think it keeps us stuck. I think Aspie is an very negative label, diminutive - ized to lessen it's "hey ret*d" type impact. I think it is worse. I really don't hate him either. I wish I could hate him, then I could move on.) although I like to think of him as a man, I felt like he was competing with me all the time. He got a complete scholarship to the U of Chicago on his SAT's. (or whatever they are called.) We were both lawyers and he was always complaining about me not respecting him or I was "beating him up". I always felt we were in some sort of a competition. I always felt very much unappreciated, too. He was unemployed the first 5 years of our marriage and I had to support us and my two children, while I was going to law school. He blamed his unemployment on me, of course. All he did was complain to me about how much money I spent and my kids complained to me about how little money I spent. My kids thought our financial lifestyle really was awful after I married him. I felt like he was always angry at me or disappointed in me no matter how hard I tried. I am a strong woman, and I felt really bad that I had to leave him in order to survive and save myself. I obviously still feel really bad about it. What my concern is, that people get really really irate at him. Not just irrated, but killing mad. Of course, he has no clue why. His dad's mom divorced his grandfather after 7 kids. I think his grandfather was like my ex because of the stories I've heard about his behavior. His grandfather, ended up living until he was 99 and was so alone. I don't think the ex's siblings want anything to do with him, they have their own problems. They also live on the west coast, far far away. I don't need any advice that I should let this all go. I intellectually and rationally know that, but I am trying to find a safe place here to voice what bounces around in my head. Maybe if I talk about it enough it will go away. I would like to have someone say to me, "yeah, I understand what you are saying." "I had that same experience." Nobody else seems to have had this experience. But I keep trying to work it out. People just don't understand why I can't let it go. I sure don't. That's why I am here.

I agree. Men should be as strong or stronger than their women. You definitely don't want your gf always telling you to "suck it up" and "be a man." Mysogny and male pride are not the same thing, BTW.

The classic example of the weaker man / stronger woman syndrome would have to be Kermitt the Frog and Miss Piggy. She was a whole lotta woman and way more than he could handle. Piggy fought all his battles for him, and Kermit had a very unmanly habit of fainting all the time. Plus, Kermitt was seemingly oblivious to the pig-stealing sexual advances Gonzo the Weird was constantly making.

I like strong, assertive women because they will treat me as an equal. Assertive women are uncommon but they do exist. I do not like bitchy, agressive women because they just want to dominate. I don't like weak, passive women because they just want a father figure to do everything for them. I am not weak or passive but people always make that mistaken assumption because I am not constantly putting on a show like NT's do. People who try to take advantae of me quickly find out the hard way that won't happen.

I think I would drive a "weak" woman completely insane. Only question would be if I would drive her insane before I would go insane myself from lack of response.

In short: I like mental strength!

I am a bit suprised the words strong and assertive are used as something similar here. To me they mean different things. I like women to be strong in the way she will be strong enough to be openminded, strong enough to continue if things get tough, strong enough to admit to a mistake but to keep her mind if she is right. I see assertiveness basically as just talking more. That is not a bad thing ofcourse, but I don't think it automatically implies strength. I'd rather just decide together what movie to go to .


Chesapeaker:
I am a bit confused. First you go into a long story how bad you were treated by an aspie, then you say aspies are so negative about NTs? While I really can imagine you have to come to terms with your marriage and you have to right to do so, I feel a bit attacked for having the same dx as your ex. You seem to be saying all this behaviour is typically AS, but I don't recognize myself in most of it. While I am in no way perfect as a partner I am not like that and don't like to be associated with it, even indirectly.
So here might be the answer to your question why 'we' are so hostile to NTs: we get pushed into a corner and getting a bit defensive is not a weird reaction.

To be honest I did feel a bit sorry about my replies when I wrote them. I understand your wish to understand. But understanding him also means putting yourself into his place I am afraid. And with so much anger still in you that might be a hard thing to do. I have no wish to pound on everyone and I'd rather show you aspies don't have to be all bad. But again you started comparing your husband 1:1 to me. Nobody likes to get critisism, but it worse when it is just for something you are, without doing anything. Judging from what you are saying you have every right to be angry with him, but he is not us!

I support your idea of trying to get understanding what we are like and what makes us what we are. But please do so by asking questions (for instance on why we would feel cornered sometimes and especially when not) and not by saying we are like this or we are like that. Aspies are a lot like humans, there's a lot of different sorts of us!

p.s. I prefer workhorses.