Do Aspie men tend to like strong women I know I do?

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MagicMike
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07 Apr 2008, 10:11 am

happyheather912 wrote:
Yeah I've read in the Neanderthal theory that the strong woman / weaker man thing is a result of the social ways of our ancestors. Not sure I believe that, but it's a theory...


This is why guns are wonderful for self-defense. Prior to their inception, the only way one could easily attempt to defend themselves was with a crossbow and even those were relatively expensive to the costs of a cheap arquebus. As crossbows were generally restricted partially due to the Second Lateran Council banning their use as unchivalric, this generally meant that rule was "might makes right" and it was easy to suppress peasant revolts with a few heavily armed retainers. Granted, other means for messing up knights also came about, such as pikes (helping establish the independent Swiss Cantons), halberds (the Dutch Republic), etc, yet the firearm still retains the best ease of learning compared with threat capability relative to anything else.

This makes having to dedicate years to mastering the sword/pike/lance/etc. pointless, which is a good thing. When everyone can properly defend themselves, this "looking for someone" to protect them is a bit silly to say the least.



LePetitPrince
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07 Apr 2008, 1:45 pm

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I agree. Men should be as strong or stronger than their women. You definitely don't want your gf always telling you to "suck it up" and "be a man." Mysogny and male pride are not the same thing, BTW.


QFT, women love to feel feminine near their men , so their men must be stronger mentally(at least as strong)/physically so she can feel that that way. In other term ,she needs to feel that her man is masculine by all means.

From evolutionary perspective , a female needs a male who's stronger than her so she can be sure that he is able to protect her and her offspring and to assure the transmission of 'strong genes' to her children . A strong male doesn't need a female stronger than him because he doesn't need her protection , all what he needs is a female to breed with. The male human which is polygamous creature by nature , doesn't care about the genetic quality (he cares basically on the fertility quality of the female) of his partners as much as females do (maybe only about 1/10 as much as females cares about genetic quality of a partner) because the sperma investment is way much cheaper than the ovarian investment , naturally what the males want is to spread their genes as much as they can. Of course , the male is obliged to be little more picky today because of the artificial concept of marriage that was created by the big majority of beta/omega males so each one of them can get a female and to decrease the conflict between males... but the core of our instincts still needs few millions of years in order to evolve and change (scientifically if the marriage concept of 1 man - 1 women, after X millions of years , men's size will become equal to women' size and the dimorphic traits will vanish little by little) .



So the social consequence of all this evolutionary crap:

Men love weak women;
Women love strong men.

Men fear strong women;
of them they say:
"She's a witch."

Women hate weak men:
of them they say:
"He's a wimp."

It is easier for a male to be a man with a weak woman than with a strong one. Her very weakness, whatever her other negative attributes, invites his natural hardness without threat. On the other hand, a strong woman, like any other competition, is a threat to his sense of himself.

So with his gendered counterpart. A female can more easily be a woman with a strong man than with a weak one. His very strength, even if his other characteristics are less desirable, invites her natural softness without threat. On the other hand, a weak man necessitates her fending for herself, a stance which is counter to her sense of herself.

When thus threatened, the male casts the verbal stone of "Witch," or thinks it, if he is too fearful to speak, to drive off this perceived danger to his own strength. The female, equally unhappy with the threat of having to give up her own softness temporarily, hurls, if she dares, the epithet of "Wimp."

Ideally, we embrace our own gender characteristics more fully, becoming less threatened by our shadowed selves. Then men can take delight in women's strength, while women enjoy man's weakness--all this on the path toward love.


If you think about it , you notice that in WP that whining guys are quickly labeled by girls as 'crybabies' while whining girls go away with their whining. Why is that? Because women hate weak men.



LePetitPrince
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07 Apr 2008, 1:46 pm

NeantHumain wrote:
kid020 wrote:
Not trying to offend but most Aspie males aren't strong, and this is really what we are talking about.

No offense, but just because you fantasize about a woman dressing you in diapers and changing you doesn't mean other aspies share your tendencies. ---> http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp1319084 ... t=#1319084

Seriously now, I would want a woman who has the right mix of assertiveness and compassion. Women who are too demure are definitely not attractive to me.


NeantHumain : 1 - kid020 : 0



tailfins1959
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07 Apr 2008, 6:26 pm

pakled wrote:
I think part of the attraction is that a strong, independent woman will actually give you a clue whether she likes you or not...;)


Unless she's a control freak (common) that uses your "blind-spots" against you.



Rubygold
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09 Apr 2008, 3:58 pm

I know in our relationship (I'm NT and he's AS), I'm often dominant in that I generally make the decisions and handle any crisis issues that arise. He has told me this is a relief to him. However, I don't see this has his being weak. In fact, he doesn't tend to stress out about stuff like I do, and in this way he's very strong.

Also, just the fact that we got together in the first place is largely based on my not being afraid to let a guy know I'm interested in him. I thought he was a shy cutie from the beginning, and basically asked him out.

Bottom line, it seems to be true in our relationship. :)



chesapeaker
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09 Apr 2008, 4:32 pm

Rubygold wrote:
I know in our relationship (I'm NT and he's AS), I'm often dominant in that I generally make the decisions and handle any crisis issues that arise. He has told me this is a relief to him. However, I don't see this has his being weak. In fact, he doesn't tend to stress out about stuff like I do, and in this way he's very strong.

Also, just the fact that we got together in the first place is largely based on my not being afraid to let a guy know I'm interested in him. I thought he was a shy cutie from the beginning, and basically asked him out.

Bottom line, it seems to be true in our relationship. :)


Yeah, me too. Same experience. Actually, I found the AS traits rather charming, still do.



techstepgenr8tion
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09 Apr 2008, 4:35 pm

In essence strong and altruistic, has to be that sort of combination though - ie. someone who can hang as an equal.



DejaQ
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09 Apr 2008, 5:04 pm

I like people with strong personalities. Generally I'm more submissive - sort of a wimp - but when I interact more with open, confident people, I feel more open and confident myself.



kid020
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11 Apr 2008, 10:52 am

NeantHumain wrote:
kid020 wrote:
Not trying to offend but most Aspie males aren't strong, and this is really what we are talking about.

No offense, but just because you fantasize about a woman dressing you in diapers and changing you doesn't mean other aspies share your tendencies.

Seriously now, I would want a woman who has the right mix of assertiveness and compassion. Women who are too demure are definitely not attractive to me.

Okay now that was out of line. I am a strong willed person and just because I have a certain fetish doesn't mean anything. It's not really your place to comment on it either. Second of all which person in the couple is the strong one isn't always as concrete as everyone on this thread seems to be making it. For example, I knew a guy in high school and he was physically disabled, his girlfriend played field hockey. Now right there everyone is probablly assuming that could never happen because girls who play sports only like guys who play sports, and because he doesn't play a sport and has a physically disability he must not be the strong one. Well this is far from the truth. He was a bit shy but very determined and headstrong. He being a male was physically stronger than her and protected her when she needed it (which btw what are the odds in an affluent suburb of new york city of a girl needing protection from thugs anyway?). So my point is there are variations to everything, and to assume someone is weak because they are not an athelete or not a social butterfly is nothing short of ludicruous. Now maybe I was wrong to say Aspie males are weak. What I meant when I said I like strong women is a woman who can help me out socially because I can be quite shy in large situations. Not a woman who is clingy and submissive and expects me to do everything and belongs in the 1950's. Now also I say when I don't like something and am quite determined about many things. And though I am NT having a hard time socially is something Aspie males would probablly need help in.



NeantHumain
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11 Apr 2008, 10:31 pm

kid020 wrote:
NeantHumain wrote:
kid020 wrote:
Not trying to offend but most Aspie males aren't strong, and this is really what we are talking about.

No offense, but just because you fantasize about a woman dressing you in diapers and changing you doesn't mean other aspies share your tendencies.

Seriously now, I would want a woman who has the right mix of assertiveness and compassion. Women who are too demure are definitely not attractive to me.

Okay now that was out of line. I am a strong willed person and just because I have a certain fetish doesn't mean anything. It's not really your place to comment on it either. Second of all which person in the couple is the strong one isn't always as concrete as everyone on this thread seems to be making it. For example, I knew a guy in high school and he was physically disabled, his girlfriend played field hockey. Now right there everyone is probablly assuming that could never happen because girls who play sports only like guys who play sports, and because he doesn't play a sport and has a physically disability he must not be the strong one. Well this is far from the truth. He was a bit shy but very determined and headstrong. He being a male was physically stronger than her and protected her when she needed it (which btw what are the odds in an affluent suburb of new york city of a girl needing protection from thugs anyway?). So my point is there are variations to everything, and to assume someone is weak because they are not an athelete or not a social butterfly is nothing short of ludicruous. Now maybe I was wrong to say Aspie males are weak. What I meant when I said I like strong women is a woman who can help me out socially because I can be quite shy in large situations. Not a woman who is clingy and submissive and expects me to do everything and belongs in the 1950's. Now also I say when I don't like something and am quite determined about many things. And though I am NT having a hard time socially is something Aspie males would probablly need help in.

Actually your fetish is highly relevant to the question you posed because it appears to have colored your perception of the general nature of people with Asperger's syndrome. Also, when you made your diaper fetish a matter of public record, you did in fact make it "my place" to comment on. I agree with you, though, that aspies can certainly benefit from a significant other or even just a friend or acquaintance with better social skills in much the way that an apprentice learns best from the master.