IM BISEXUAL AND PROUD!! !

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but i just cant tell my father yet....

i know he isnt homophobic but, im not sure how he'll take it.

advice?

Are you really?

Well tell him when you feel like it's the right time. You stated that he wasn't homophobic so there's one plus.

Well, I'm gay and I'm 15 too. I can't say I'm proud of being gay, but it sure is fun minus the Asperger's part where I have trouble socializing. I'm not planning to tell my parents until I'm older like age 20 + so in case they don't want to hear that I can support myself. Besides, you never have to let them know. Just say your Asperger's gets in the way of relationships. I'm seen as anti-social by my parents so they'll never suspect. They're not homophobic like your parents as well, but I dunno, like you said, who knows how they'll respond. Only get with girls then if you want to pursue a relationship I suppose.

Sorry, I don't have much to offer in the way of advice other than to be prepared for anything, especially the possibility that your dad won't accept it.

I didn't have the courage to admit my bisexuality to my parents until last year (I was 29 at the time) and they didn't accept it.

I would wait then, I am bi and still in the closet with it-though I am kinda sure they know lol

My advice would be wait until he's in a good mood, then sit him down and expect anything. Every parent reacts differently to the situation initially. Once the shock of it is over, and it starts to sink in for them, then their true colours usually show. Some parents who are normally not homophobic, do not want their child to be gay/bi, while other parents who are normally homophobic, are more understanding if it's their child, so you really never know. I came out to my mom at 13, and it was one of the scariest things I've ever done. Good luck!

Send him a video that features you and two of your closest friends to your dad ... after he makes you beneficiary of his insurance accounts ... how's his heart these days?

I actually think homophobic people probably are not comfortable with their own sexuality. Like why do they have a problem sith gay people:shrug: It wouldn't supprise me if your dad may be bi too.

It probably wouldn't be a good idea to tell him that though. Take adivice from people that have been in the same situation.

i just cant cares about others sexuality

I told my mum in the middle of an argument. Luckily she was on the way to drop me off at Youth Theatre, so I didn't have to cope with the "no, you're just thinking you are" for too long. *rolls eyes*

I was quite lucky though: my mum just ignores it, and my dad doesn't care.

I wouldn't advise telling them during an argument, and I wouldn't advise telling them straight away. Unless you're planning to bring a boyfriend home, leave it until a) you're comfortable with it and with telling them and b ) you have a back up plan - ie, you can get out of the house.

If you think he'd handle it well, tell him when you're ready. However, if you think he'd react badly, like I think my parents would, there's no need to really tell him unless you end up in a relationship with a guy. Although, it is very hard hiding that part of yourself I know, but some people find that easier to handle.

Why make a big deal about it? Why the official announcement?

Do you have any siblings? Of the opposite sex? Do you have a sister who drools over Zac Ephron or the Johnson Brothers or whatever they're called or whoever? Can't you randomly, casually hint at stuff, like when a sibling or friend is drooling over someone while you're watching a film or television series or music videos, you say, well, yeah, I like Vanessa Hudgens, I think she's hot, but if I were gay or bi I'd probably like Zac as well, he's quite cute for a guy...

Have you never had one of those random conversations about people's attractiveness generally, I'm not gay but...

I'd say 99.9 per cent of heterosexuals has an "I'm not gay but..."

And then it can kind of develop, like well, there's nothing wrong with being gay, in fact, I do actually think he's hot as well and I sooooooooo would...

I'm straight. Pretty much. I'm not gay but... I would sooooooooooooo love to kiss Angelina Jolie. And I'm not gay, but I almost got snogged by a German girl at a party once, she was really coming on to me and flirting with me, but someone else walked in the room...

Most people of younger generations are pretty cool with people who are heteroflexible - close friends of the same age might go through a phase when they feel threatened by it as they might be a bit confused about their own sexuality, but once they've grown out of that phase, it all should be cool. Oh, and also people in some of the bigger cities that have very high percentage gay populations are more accepting generally.

The older generation (and I am part of that older generation, I'm old enough to be your mum) some of them can be a bit small-minded, it's not necessarily personally against you or other heteroflexibles, it can just be that their own life experiences have been quite limited, and what you're going through is outwith their realm of experiences and they don't know how to react or deal with it.

Even though I am of that older generation, I'm from Manchester, England, which has a very high LGBT population, and I've had loads of friends over the years among that community. And I work in the media, and creative industries tend to have a higher proportion too. And a couple of exes have been bi/heteroflexible. It's not an issue, no big deal. If my daughter had told me she was gay or bi or whatever, I wouldn't have had a problem. But she's straight and recently married. Either way, I'm happy that she's happy.

Because frankly it feels empowering to say it in the face of a society that still believes that heterosexuality is the way things should be.

I come from San Francisco, and everybody knows about its gay population; coming out is not so much a big deal there, so I can understand what you're saying about Manchester. But unfortunately those cities are so few and far between, and the vast remainder of the world is still very much prejudiced against anything other than heterosexuality. I can't wait for the day when we really can just come out in such a casual way, and in some environments, some of us can and have done so in that way. Until then, however, when few people around you give you that moral emotional support you need when taking a step like admitting one's sexuality, you need all the support you can get... even if that support is from yourself. Hence the declaration.

Besides, it's good to be able to have a serious, mature talk about these types of things. Beating around the bush can confuse things considerably (i.e. the other person doesn't take you seriously, thus defeating the whole point of the conversation), and when you get that nervous about telling somebody about coming out, you don't really want to do a second round. One should ideally be able to be open like that with one's dad. And if that's not the case, it's an unfortunate tragedy that so many of us go through.

Just from my own personal experience.

the best advice i can give is using the 'i think i might be...' approach, it shows you're questioning it (meaning if someone disproves they wont just dismiss it and instead talk) and also asking for advice (most parents love being able to 'control' their kids with advice being another method).
if you come out with "i'm bisexual and don't give a f**k what you think dad!" it might case a few problems.

i'm straight myself so i don't know what it's like to be bi or gay, and i have never had to question my sexuality either. i've had to talk about different things as serious here and there and the best thing in my oppinion is to show you're parents you're 'worth it' by spending the day being decent, offer to do a few chores, ask themif there's anything they want to talk about etc and then work your sexuality into the conversation.

If I was you I would look at the LGBT websites and print off a pdf leaflet for parents. Leave the leaflet in the house for your parents to read. That way you dont have to have an embarrasing talk and the leaflet will tell him how to handel the situation. It also might have a phone line your dad could ring to talk about it if he wants. A lot of LGBT websites have parent support groups which might be usefull to him. You might find it handy to go to the local LGBT group for teens, there is one in most towns (just put "LGBT teens group your town" in search engine.

good luck

Hmmm ... I am straight but some people think that I am gay(because I don't show excitement for girls) , I am tasting homophobia while I am straight ..

If I was really gay , I wouldn't tell anyone including my parents but again I don't live in New England so I can't tell....

Last edited by LePetitPrince on 12 Dec 2008, 5:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.