Some NT-s can be damner than most aspies

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I am getting a dating tips by email where guys ask questions and get answers. Well I read some really dumn question. I am aspie, but to me it seems like whoever wrote it must be even worse aspie than me ever. I mean he did something that is SO OBVIUOSLY wrong (whether it be woman or otherwise) yet he asks "why" did she flake out on him and whether she was testing him. I am totally amaised that me being an aspi i am so much smarter than him. Let me see if there are other aspies who also feel that guy was damn. Here is his novel and question:



I will try to keep this short, but if you don't
read it all, just refer to the question at the
bottom regarding the question.

Okay, I have read through all of your newsletters
ever since I signed up for the service & purchased
your E-Books.

On a Tuesday I am out with a friend & we bump into
his ex & her roommate. Both girls are 9's (pushing
10's). I immediately go to work! She's wearing a
turtle neck sweater (I see a weak spot) so I start
calling her "Tippy the Turtle" all night. She acts
all defensive about it, but keeps laughing &
asking me WHY, WHY, WHY do you keep calling me
that?...So I just keep pouring it on. I bust on
her humorously every chance I get. Within 2 hours,
she's leaning on me, squeezing me & following me
around the club like a puppy..... SO, we go to
another club & I go to the bar to get a drink and
the waitress at the bar (whom I know from being
there in the past) asks me why I have never asked
HER to go out & do anything (LIGHT BULB GOES ON).
So I tell her it's "because I don't have a way to
get a hold of her". So she pulls out a dollar bill
from her money holder & writes her number down and
gives it to me (this girl is a solid 10 by the
way... and trust me, IM PICKY!). Needless to say,
IM STOKED! So I tease her a little about her name
(because her name is B...a guys name), take the
number & go back to my friend & the girls.....
Everything is great RIGHT????

Now the problem & the question:

I ask a friend of mine about her (the waitress).
He works at the same night club she does. He said
that she was "all about money". He also told me
that she just quit her job that weekend & didn't
work there anymore...

So I called her on the following Sunday (gave it
about 5 days). I decided to check this "money
thing" out in a humorous way. When she finally
realized who I was (which kinda pissed me off that
I had to explain to her who I was on the phone...I
went as far as suggesting that I hang up & call
back & try this again) I told her that I heard
she quit her job & then asked her "How are you
going to take me to lunch & pay my way if you
don't have a job"? I thought it was funny & was
awaiting a laugh, but she responded with "why do
you have to start the conversation off like that?
I had to support my last 2 boyfriends, so don't go
there". Needless to say Im shocked & respond with
"Its becoming a habit huh?"...and then heard
silence & broke the silence with "Im just giving
you sh**!" (I know, I know....a WUSS moment)

SO, I set a simple meeting with her (for some
lunch before I had to go to work) for that same
Thursday (today actually...4 days later). She said
the date & time were cool so I closed the deal
(kept the phone call at about 3-4 minutes). Before
I hung up she said "why don't you call me between
now & then so we can talk". Well Im picking up on
that one right away, so I respond with. What would
be the point in that? We are getting together
Thursday to talk". And we said our goodbyes & that
was it....

NOW I get a phone call 3 hours before we have to
meet & she tells me some BS story about her
brother coming in town & she can't meet me for
lunch. Well Im not stupid, and I just had another
girl cancel in a similar fashion on me last night.
DUHH!! !... So my question is this:

QUESTION: If a girl cancels on you, how should you
really handle it? Especially if you know her
excuse is bull sh**?!?! (I can pick liars out a
mile away... its a gift!). I realize she maybe
testing me, but when a girl expresses interest in
YOU & makes it a point to make sure that YOU leave
WITH HER PHONE NUMBER, how should you handle it
when they cancel last minute with a lame ass
excuse? My feelings are to talk to them in a manor
making them feel as stupid as they think YOU are.
For Example:

When she tells me her brother is going to be in
town & she had to cancel THREE HOURS before we
meet, I felt like saying "Well I gave you 4 days
notice to meet me for ONE hour. Your brother
hasn't seen you in six months & you didn't know
this when we talked the first time??"

I was just real quiet & said nothing when she fed
me this "Line" & responded with "ok, whatever...
maybe some other time...you have my number" &
that was the end of the conversation, I hung up.

Are they testing to see if you WILL be an a**hole
(DO THEY WANT YOU TO?), or are they testing to see
if you will be sympathetic (WHICH WOULD BE
BAD)..... Personally, I want to be an as*hole
because I get kind of upset with flakey people in
general...

Also, do you think I should ever call & set a date
up again with a woman like this, or did I already
blow it?

My novel......

C. (Kansas)

Roman,Roman,Roman...when she wanted you to call her and talk to her before your date you should have done so. When you said "What would be the point in that?" We'll see.......I would have felt a bit put off, like I wasn't worth your time. Next time , if you like her...call her. And call her between dates. Whats the point??????? It's a chick thing.....DEAL.

Oh whoops...that guy was not you.....you are right....HE'S DUMB.....and really stupid. And when he insulted her about the money thing, he should have apologized right away. Total jerk.

The first post sounds like David DeAngelo from Double Your Dating; a copy of one of his newsletters, to be exact. He's the author of an extensive series of books, CDs, and DVDs that talk about how to attract women. One thing the newsletters have in common in making average guys look bad to make them buy the book. So it's probably a really extreme example of a guy making mistakes.

On a side note, I recommend Marius Ponzarella's books, available at http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com and http://www.confidencewithdating.com. (The first website is nowhere near as chauvanistic as the address might suggest.) Ponzarella uses a motivational speaker tone with logical explanations, as opposed to "all average guys are bad unless they buy my book".

That guy is a jerk, he thinks he knows how to impress woman and actually has no idea. A definate insensitive jerk.

Are you referring to David DeAngelo or Marius Ponzarella? I agree with you about DeAngelo, but Ponzarella seems alright, not arrogant at all.