Accepting Isolation

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I'm similar. I usually like spending time at school as I can spend time doing my own thing, while there are still people around.

This is when I feel most comfortable. I keep pressuring myself to get out and socialize, but that is what is making me depressed and making me feel crushed under pressure when nothing is there to pressure me but myself.

I probably don't need to do anything.

But I do want a husband.

I identify with pretty much all of what has been said here already.

I like being alone. The older I get, the more time I require alone, but I also don't want to completely isolate myself. That seems unhealthy to me, and I know that I get depressed and lonely when I completely lack social interaction. That said, I just can't seem to forge actual connections with people even though I want to. I seem to repel my coworkers--they're friends with each other, and I've tried to develop friendships with some of them. Yeah...fail.

So I have very mixed feelings about being isolated. On the one hand I like lots of time to myself, and on the other, I'd like to at least have the option of getting together with people when I feel like it. I don't have that so much right now. When I do hang out with people--acquaintances--it wears me out and I'm often bored by the conversation (it's so mundane! I hate small talk! hate! it!) and I just want to go home so I can be alone. I'm not sure where the middle ground is on this.

There's also the social stigma of not really having friends or a social life--and there have been quite a few articles in the news lately about how people with strong social networks are healthier and live longer, etc. All of this makes me feel like a failure. Sometimes I want friends. Sometimes I feel okay without them. Lately I've kind of given up on making friends because I don't seem capable of making or keeping them. I think the reality is that even though I want friends, I'm not going to have any.

I feel so isolated and yet hate annoying interaction with people. I hate what people do together. I have to pretend I'm interested. I honestly have to pretend 99% of the time when I am interacting. It is so much work to try to figure out what people want from their conversations. It isn't as easy as the subject, or the truth, there is always an agenda. A secret message in the delivery, the topic, some motive hiding in the inflection in their voice. Sometimes it is interesting figuring out the rest of the story but most of the time it is too obvious to be interesting.

the only thing is that if we (including myself) expect and love to have a large majority of our time alone, how in the hell do we become married?
i know im an introvert, i was always more into music and my routine in high school, had my small group of friends for a brief 2 years or so but eventually we all went our separate ways. i arrived at college, received the same bullying, taunting, abuse in high school, friends changed every year that i moved, and then i get people at my work saying like "you should try friends sometime". and i honestly dont know what a friend is. a friend to me is always expecting you to be like them and all the crap with it. and if you deviate from any sense of their normality, you are just ignored and forgotten. and we are talking about adults here. adults like to think they are fair, honest, wise, kind, mature, intelligent, giving, respectful and all that. i say it is f*****g BS. most adults are f*****g bat s**t insane, workaholic, social drug whores, and or in a crappy abusive relationship/marriage, constantly changing jobs, always looking for the easy dumb way including views in life, and they dont respect individuality unless they disclose their individuality. lets face it, the downfall of society is the adults fault. we just become too arrogant and selfish once we get out on our own. kill them all, bill hicks, kill them all.

I feel the same way too. I think being an aspie has made my 25 years on earth a living hell if you ask me. I hate almost everything it's given me. I don't like the hobbies that interests us, just because NTs think we're weird for that. I hate how analytical our brains work and how I can't let my guard down in a social situation. I JUST WANT A FRIGGIN' SOCIAL LIFE. Isn't that too much to ask for?

I just think AS is a liability and a bane of my existence.

One thing I like to do is sit in the same room with someone while they're watching TV. Often I play with my laptop. It helps me feel less isolated, but I don't have to actually interact too much.

It's also fun to watch TV with someone I am fond of. Then I can make random comments and we can talk on the commercials, if we feel so inclined, but it's less pressure than 'a conversation,' or whatever.

I feel the same way. If you and the other person are watching a show together then most likely its new for both of you and you can make observational comments about it- something both NTs and Aspies do. This is why I enjoy watching movies with friends and family

I like being alone about 90% of the time....but the 10% where I don't want to be, it really sucks being lonely.