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shortfatbalduglyman
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02 May 2024, 10:33 pm

What is it like to be mute or close to it?

Have you ever tried to be silent for a day?

How long is the longest you have gone without talking?



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09 May 2024, 10:19 am

I have tried not to talk for a whole day, usually giving up when I became bored. I once didn't speak for a whole school day because I was just tired of talking to people, instead of experimentation.
I'm not sure, but I think I go non-verbal when I'm overwhelmed. I've been forced to talk under those circumstances (it usually takes a few tries), but it's really difficult and I refuse to do so now.
I wouldn't know but I assume mute people feel okay communicating by other means, writing, sign language, body language. I mean, of course it's harder, but they're probably used to it.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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09 May 2024, 5:17 pm

it just seems like the vast majority of the time, when I try to say something, someone either doesn't

hear (Precious lil "people" act so enthusiastic, like every thought and emotion that went through their heads, are the latest greatest scientific inventions. Then when I try to say something, they have the nerve to *half listen* and grunt "huh" and "what", like they are the etiquette equivalent of "excuse me".) (where i work, @ home depot, the entire building is loud. coworkers and customers tend to be hard of hearing, as construction workers).

care (It appears that some precious lil "people", care about plenty of "people", but everyone they care about acts just like them [neurotypical and cisgender], and they care about them vice versa.)

understand (they acted like they understood, but they did not understand. they made wrong assumptions. they were not even aware that they made wrong assumptions.)

believe (they expected me to believe whatever they told me, but they were not willing to believe the slightest thing i tried to tell them. even when there was literally *nothing* at stake for them, if they believed what i said.)

remember (even though I told them)

what i said. And that makes the cost benefit analysis not worth it.



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10 May 2024, 7:02 pm

Yeah, performative allies will act like that a lot; pretending to care or understand but in reality, they're ignorant and won't help you when you need it.
It's messed up nobody listens to you or believes you, but very real if I'm being honest.
I've had people laugh at my serious problems because they didn't believe me and found my issues preposterous and also sometimes, I just don't emote correctly (I find it hard acting serious and tend to say everything like a joke even if I mean it).
It sucks when people don't listen, especially when you're talking about something you care about. I also can't stand people who continue to do something inappropriate or offensive, even when told off by the person it affects.
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vergil96
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11 May 2024, 10:52 am

Do you mean like a completely nonverbal person? Or what kind of thing?

I don't know how long I went without talking the longest. It was long, a week, I think. I write though, texting is much more difficult to stop, lol.

I'm hard of hearing and have always been... If your hearing is suited to it, you might like to talk, I prefer written text, I can always see it clearly, unlike spoken word, in many situations it sounds like gibberish to me. Perhaps not the kind of answer you're looking for, as it's probably a different kind of issue with communication. It's not needed to talk in all situations, you don't have to say a word during everyday shopping, for example.



vergil96
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Today, 4:41 pm

I'm reading up on it and it looks like the speech delay in autism has to do with the hearing problems. They have nothing to do with any problems with the ears, it's how the brain processes sensory input that makes it hard to distinguish speech. So yeah - you've got the answer. I can recommend Temple Grandin's book on this topic, quite insightful and intelligently written. She used to be unable to speak as a child, if you want to read about it more.



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Today, 7:00 pm

I have Selective Mutism and don't like speaking, in general, even when I can. I find speech physically exhausting and I get stressed out because my mind and thoughts are so much faster than my verbal language. I don't think in a linear way either because of synaesthesia and ADHD etc., so my thoughts bounce all over the place and it's very difficult to consciously order them for the sake of others, in real time. Then there's the whole thing about having to use facial expressions, the right tone of voice, or the right volume. I despise having to repeat myself or explain myself when it was hard enough to say something in the first place.

Selective Mutism doesn't mean that I select when to talk or not. It's involuntary. When I can't talk, I just won't / can't, like having Pathological Demand Avoidance and a broken mouth at the same time.

I've gone weeks without talking, especially when I was in Uni and just listening to lectures. Even with my kids, most of our communication is written on text. I've never left a voicemail message for anyone in my life.

It's the single most challenging aspect of all my relationships.

I had a Speech-Language Pathologist at school as a child, as an adult after my first stroke, and again about two years ago when I decided I wanted to try speaking to my mother (something which is historically next to impossible for me). The SLP said it was more of an issue for Psychology related to anxiety, but my Psychologist says it's an issue for SLP.

No one seems to be able to help.


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Jakki
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Today, 7:57 pm

when nothing you say makes a difference ...or you can expect certain outcomes are the only ones possible.
Then what are the differences if you speak or not ? ......Or does this being mute imply a entire seperate level of understanding ??.ie. as in Aspie mutism :mrgreen:


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