Redefining social skills

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Social skills everyone should be happy with!

1. Adding please onto a command converts it into a request. This is what I've finally realised, so I can now avoid stupid 'can you get me' or 'will you get me' requests, instead saying 'please get me'.

2. Tactful honesty is preferable to white lies or rudeness. Only use the other two if you absolutely have to.

3. Say thankyou if you feel thanks. If someone asks you if you would likel something and you do, say yes please. If you don't, but might have, say thankyou for asking. If you will never want them to ask you, say so. Something along the lines of 'I don't really like that, so please don't ask me'.


Anymore? Those are what I've came up with so far, and decided that both Aspies, Auties, and Enties ( ) should OK with. Society really needs to get away from this requirement for lying to maintain peace. It would be a big change, but one that the internet makes possible.

Please try to shoot holes in my new social skills. I want to see their flaws and weaknesses, to improve them.

I, Magneto of WrongPlanet, hereby define social skills as these. Anyone who does not have these ones lacks social skills.

There. I'm one of very few people who have them now

I have one to add:

4. "Do you want to _______?" is a command to do that thing.

When I was a kid, I didn't usually wear a seatbelt in the neighborhood.. all of like 5 residential streets with no traffic and a very very low speed limit. Anywhere outside of there, I would, but not usually there. My school was within the neighborhood. One day there was a car-pool and someone else's mom asked me if I wanted to put on my seat belt. I said no. For goodness sakes, she ASKED if I wanted to, she didn't tell me to! This did NOT go over well. I think that if someone is going to tell a kid that they have to do something, it's absolutely STUPID to phrase it "do you want to put on your seat belt?"

Ha, my mum did this all the time. "do you want to do the washing up?" "Uh, no, I don't" Then she got mad with me. Very strange

I'm trying to rewrite social skills, not listing current ones.

4. If someone is annoying you, notify them. Tactfully.

If someone of the opposite gender asks you to go somewhere/do something as just 'friends'- they want to be more than friends.

If on entering an elevator you do not immediately turn back around to face the door- that is considered very strange.

When a salesperson says "How are you?" - they mean "Do you want to buy something, or are you likely to pinch our stuff?"

Nah, I don't think they should be added to my list of new social skills which I intend to replace the old ones with.

Read the OP. That's always good advice. I'm trying to redefine them, not define them.

Ohh, ok... maybe I'll start a thread as a list of existing rules we should know..

To continue my list...

Wait, I don't think I need to. Is 4 enough? Simple, easy to remember, and everyone should be able to understand them. No lying as a plus. So, to list them:

1. Adding please onto a command converts it into a request. This is what I've finally realised, so I can now avoid stupid 'can you get me' or 'will you get me' requests, instead saying 'please get me'.

2. Tactful honesty is preferable to white lies or rudeness. Only use the other two if you absolutely have to.

3. Say thankyou if you feel thanks. If someone asks you if you would likel something and you do, say yes please. If you don't, but might have, say thankyou for asking. If you will never want them to ask you, say so. Something along the lines of 'I don't really like that, so please don't ask me'.

4. If someone is annoying you, notify them. Tactfully.

Anymore needed? I haven't covered rudenss yet, so....

5. Don't insult people. If someone insults you, tell them according to skill 4. If they keep bugging you, just leave them and simply ignore them.

6. Make yourself clear. If someone asks you a question, give the answer clearly so that there can be no confusion. It's not that difficult, and it avoids embarressing mistakes.

7. If you ask how someone is, be prepared for an answer which may be long. If you keep asking them and they ask you not to, don't ask. Conversely, if someone asks you how you are, either answer truthfully or don't complain. If you don't want to be asked, say so.

There, I think I have enough. Now I just need somewhere to run a trial...

Holy s**t, I did that yesterday. Got in, stood facing everyone. I'm very tall though, might have been more awkward for us all if I was head level. Good tip. What a great site.

Obviously, I have a weird sense of fun. I sometimes deliberately stand with my back to the doors in an elevator/lift just to see reactions to this behaviour. I know it is considered strange but what the heck.

Does No.2 cover No.7?

Maybe No.2 should be answer truthfully, and tactfully.

Worse than strange. Flat out terrifying. Nobody has ever done that while I was on an elevator but if they did I'd be counting the seconds till the next floor and would get off at the next floor regardless of whether it was the one I wanted.

Facing the people in the elevator rather than turning around to face the door looks like the 10 seconds right before you are about to commit a violent crime. Turning around to face the door means your only concern is when you are getting off the elevator. You face the doors in preparation to exit them and in the meantime you watch the floor lights so you will know when your floor is coming up.

Facing the people in the elevator instead of the doors means your main interest is not getting off at the proper floor. Your main interest is the people you are now facing. It means you really don't care WHAT floor is coming up next because you aren't using the elecator as a means of transportation. You are using it as a means of getting people in a little box they can't easily escape from so that you can...(they will fill in the blanks with their worst fears).