Obsessing about friends

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I am obessing about friends - well not all , but those i like most at the time. It's always one person at a time for weeks.
This happens to me again and again if i only find someone interesting and exciting enough. I asked a good (iInternet) friend of mine whether if the thing i felt for a real-life friend was love. She answered that i would like to be in love.& that i was obsessing...
So i spend a lot of time thinking of that person and reminiscing recent nights out or fantasizing about future meets or what i will say to her in future...
Of coutrse, i don't say any rehearesed or prepared text during the nights out but what comes to my mind spontaneusly in the situation, and dialogue...
The point is: this obsessing saps my juice & energy and wastes my time and takes my cool.
Mostly it is pleasant though- kinda daydreaming - so i am surfing on a wave of pleasure and feel that i am being liked and have a good friend. I indulge in this feeling....

But sometimes it seems to me that this obession is more important to me than my other Aspie-an obsession, which are rather knowledge-realated than focussed on people, like Anglo-Saxon kingdoms etc.

The downline of this is: when she does not call back or i feel that she needs more space i cannot move on and think of something else but am deeply struck by this...

This has been discussed a few times before and as it turns out, it's not uncommon for aspies to be obsessed with certain people. For some people the obsession is people they don't know, like celebrities and for some of us, myself included, it's people we actually know and have contact with IRL. (This 'people' thing isn't the most common aspie obsession but it's definitely experienced by some of us.) I know what it's like and it's one thing I've always wished I could change about myself. Like you said, "The point is: this obsessing saps my juice & energy and wastes my time and takes my cool." I haven't found a way around it yet though - the tendency is always there. It's just a matter of trying to keep it under control.

i tend to get absessive with freinds, or i get a little to defensive. need to get the balence right. I have also tended to feat them dropping me so much they drop me. which is hard to deal with.

jammie

I seem to be most obsessed by friends I can't have or those, (generally girls) who are somehow off limits.

I often imagine what I would say to friends if I was "normal" or day dream about them. But I sometimes find I only realise how much I liked someone when they are no longer there any more.

I do that a lot.

Maybe your obsession is just a very strong form of hope? Sometimes when we hope for something so bad we label it as an obsession. Then if we try to get rid of our obsession, we have to get rid of hope.

For myself, I do find that I obsess over friendships and relationships, so much so that it tends to dominate my thoughts. But I think thats only because I want them so bad, yet are unable to function in a way that makes them possible. It seems so easy for others, yet I would feel like I won the lottery if it were to happen to me. But, I cannot give up on them because I want them so badly, and if I stopped hoping for them then there would be no point in living. Two terrible things for some people to be torn between, either give up hope, or torture ourselves with it.