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sluice
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24 Oct 2010, 1:43 pm

How do you put people at ease? I notice I feel like I am different than most people. I appear physically stronger than most people and I have taught myself to keep my head up and shoulders back. I take up more space than the average person gets. People will often move aside like I am parting the seas in a crowded space. It feels like a faux tough guy image that I project instead of the meek, head down, don't look at my eyes of adolescence. I don't really project an openness around people that I don't know well. It is my way of dealing with over-stimulated environments instead of crawling off into some corner, but the effect is similar.

I also have longer, unruly hair in large part because I can't stand some stranger touching my hair and head to get regular haircuts. I have considered shaving it off, but I don't know if that will make the image worse. I also have a bad habit of using too big of words and concepts for the average person when I am having a conversation. I think I have some problems tailoring my conversation to my audience. Does anyone have any advice for me? I would like to try to be more people oriented, if only to give myself more experiences in life.



Moog
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24 Oct 2010, 1:59 pm

Try smiling, if you haven't already. Think about your body language. Keep your hands visible and open. Relax, people will pick up on tension.

I tend to think of everyone I meet as being like a bomb. They need defusing. A gesture, a smile, a nod, a wave, a 'hello', or a 'how are you' can disarm them, then it's like all the tension is gone, and everyone can get on with their business. Make yourself a known element to them.


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Pobodys_Nerfect
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24 Oct 2010, 5:14 pm

I use the tone of my voice. Make a high note somewhere in the sentence. They seem to read that more than the logic. It seems to keep me from their wrath. They are fragile bombs.
I thought of keeping a voice recorder in my pocket and getting an NT to record an emotional "hey you" and just push the button.



richardbenson
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24 Oct 2010, 7:19 pm

i think its just one of those things. frankly i'd rather be indimidating than a bully. theres a difference, Intimidation is so super bad that it aviods all contact. because well, you are intimidating. bullys are nothing but lowlifes, with bad breath. aviod them at all costs!!



sluice
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24 Oct 2010, 10:40 pm

Well, I went on a date this afternoon and we got into this discussion indirectly. She thinks of me as quiet and mysterious in a good way. The funny thing about me is after I get to know someone I end up being more on the goofy side in the sense that I don't take myself too seriously. But with people that don't know me I give off more of a "I don't play by the rules everyone else does." I have always been the type to walk to the beat of my own drums, so I am not surprised.

Thanks for your input. I probably should learn to more open and look to initiate friendliness. You are funny Pobody (nice name) and Richard. I will have to remember my tape recorder and breath mints next time. :)



Titangeek
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29 Oct 2010, 11:08 pm

i have bin told that i project an "evil boy genius" demeanor. I really don't see how though.


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