super confused. My friend stole something from me

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ShadesOfMe
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03 Oct 2010, 7:32 pm

I'm feeling really sad about this.Yesterday, my aspie group had a garage sale. It was at my house. All items were outside. It was a little disappointing, we got rained out, and only two members and their parents came. One member, who is my friend, is 15. he tends to be a little inappropriate, but that isn't the issue today. My brother recently moved out. a lot of his stuff is left in his room, and we used his room to put stuff we weren't sure we wanted to sell/didn't know what to do with just yet. My friend asked to go to the bathroom, and we told him where it was. He was alone in the house for 5 minutes. I didn't know he'd stolen from me, until today. I over slept, and I woke up and read my face book. he said he took something from my house that was not for sale. He said he would pay me back for it. I didn't notice him take anything but now that he mentions it, he was acting a little suspicious. I'm not sure what it was. But the fact that he says he'll pay for it does not help. i don't know what it is, and whatever it was could have been mine or my brothers, and something we intended to use. I had even brought out a set of markers, because I know he likes art, and sold them to him. I probably wasn't going to use them, but I did it because I cared about him as a friend. now I feel let down and very sad. I am not sure what to do.



Chronos
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03 Oct 2010, 8:21 pm

Here is a scenario: Johnny has AS. Johnny's mom told him that stealing is wrong. Johnny asks what stealing is. Johnny's mom tells him, stealing is taking something that doesn't belong to you without asking first.

Johnny goes to Dave's house. While there, he see's Dave has a neat new video game. Johnny asks Dave if he can have the video game. Dave says no. Johnny takes the video game because he asked so it's not stealing.

Johnny's mom finds out and Johnny gets in trouble.

Johnny's mom tells him if the person says no, and you still take it, it's stealing. Johnny's mom also tells him stealing is also when you take something without paying for it.

Johnny goes to your garage sale and has to use the bathroom. When in there, he cuts himself. He takes a bandaid out of the medicine cabinet and puts it on his cut because he's bleeding.

But he didn't ask first and didn't pay for it. Now Johnny worry's he's going to get in trouble for stealing. He walks out of the bathroom and is acting nervous because he's afraid you will find out he stole.

He goes home and thinks of ways to fix the situation. He can't ask to take the bandaid because he already did. Then he gets an idea. He'll pay for the banaid, because if he pays for it, according to his mother, it's not stealing.

Maybe your friend was in a similar situation.



ShadesOfMe
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04 Oct 2010, 10:33 pm

I'm pretty sure that's not it. He just finally, responded to my questioning about 15 minutes ago. he said "Notice anything missing?" I had to tell him, that of course I don't, as my brother recently moved, and much of his stuff has been lying about in boxes and other places, we have TONS of boxes and bags of garage sale items, and items we pulled out from storage and the garage to see if we wanted to keep them or sell at the garage sale. so of course I haven't noticed anything missing! I can just hear him saying that in my head, and it doesn't sound pleasant. GRR.



ShadesOfMe
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04 Oct 2010, 10:45 pm

He then said it was a cloth dummy. I asked him "what cloth dummy?" and his response made me realize he was calling me a dummy. He then went on to say it was a cloth. I haven't gotten much out of it, but he repeatedly referred to it as him "stealing from my house." I have told him several times he needs to return it. now he says it was a "cool old towel.". Then he said it looked like it was for sale. clearly, all sale items were outside. and he even asked me in the house, which i didn't find weird at that time, what all the boxes in the house were for, and i'd explained to him. I never saw him with anything so he clearly hid it in his pocket. whether it was for sale or not, he did not pay for it and that is still stealing! :(

Now he's saying "I forgot to pay for it" he's lying, because like I said, i explained to him. at garage sales people don't wander through houses and buy/take from boxes there. I've said in pretty much every response that whatever it is I'm going to have to ask him to return it, and he seems to think it's funny. This is on my facebook wall, so all my friends and family can see. He even liked up my response about whether or not it was for sale and such.



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05 Oct 2010, 8:13 am

It's unfortunate, but if your friend is a minor perhaps you should speak to his mother/parent. Finding it funny is not the appropriate response and it doesn't sound like he is going to come to an appropriate reaction without intervention. Whether you want the item returned or not your friend would benefit from a talk on stealing from someone in authority. It may help prevent him repeating the behavior with someone who is not his friend where it will cause much larger problems for him.



RightGalaxy
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05 Oct 2010, 6:39 pm

Go to the cops with the facebook message. F him!! He wants to come into your home and disrespect you like that. So smug he is!



Last edited by RightGalaxy on 05 Oct 2010, 6:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

OneStepBeyond
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05 Oct 2010, 6:42 pm

sounds like hes just trying to wind you up, and its working. stop replying to him



Raymond_Fawkes
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06 Oct 2010, 4:52 am

I've had my wallet stolen by my ex best friend once.. around 100$ taken. I've had 40$ taken once by my sisters friend.. I've learned to be overly cautious now. I wouldn't trust anyone with my valuables. If theirs proof he took something(the facebook admittance) I would tell him then to return it or you're calling the police and give him a time frame when to. If he doesn't abide, then you should go to the authorities. Your home is your sanctuary. If you allow him to do this then the chances are relatively high he'll do this again to either you, or someone else.



curlyfry
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06 Oct 2010, 7:45 am

When I was younger I have stolen things and never told the person. This person probably didn't take anything and is just trying to get you paranoid which seems to be working. An "old towel"? Please, who admits to taken such a thing? Does this person like playing games to test your friendship and is their friendship worth it?



nekowafer
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06 Oct 2010, 8:15 am

It sounds like you need to talk to his parents. Call when he's not there, if you can. Tell them that he stole something from you, and is now taunting you about it. It may have just been a towel - but he stole it, and it was inappropriate. Tell them that you have been offended but if he can return it and apologize, there will be no hard feelings. Be cautious with him from then on, but try to still be his friend. It is very possible that he just needs to understand exactly what the problem is. That doesn't make what he did right - just something to be dealt with in a way other than anger. If you have to, ask your parents to talk to his parents. Try to deal with this in a mature way, it will make your parents respect you even more for not getting angry (even if you were in private, you don't want to show it).


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CowboyFromHell
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08 Oct 2010, 7:57 am

It's strange because I had a similar situation the day after I read this thread a few days ago.

This truly was an honest mistake, because I thought the item had already been paid for (someone else was going front me the money for it). I was amused afterward thinking about how it reminded me of this thread.


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