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samotny
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04 Oct 2010, 3:39 pm

Hi!

(sorry for my poor english)

I'm want to go to pub. This is only one place in my town where is possible to meet new peoples and get friends.

But my doctor say that I'm should not go to pub beacusa in Poland(my country) is easy for aspie to be beaten.

I'm should go to pub?

if not - how to find a friends?

if yes - how to neutralise beat-fear?

(I'm 20 years)



willa
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04 Oct 2010, 4:36 pm

That is tough to answer.
Being completely unfamiliar with the culture and pubs in your area it's hard to give advice.
I know there are ones in my area where I just don't belong and would never step foot in but there are plenty of very neutral ones.

I think you're on the right track, the internet is neutral (for the most part ;p) and I know there are plenty of polish people here who will likely come out of the woodwork to offer their advice. You're likely to meet some people from your area here or can offer good ideas for you in your town.


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Sparrowrose
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04 Oct 2010, 6:24 pm

I sometimes go to a local pub where a favorite professor spends his time nearly every evening.

How I avoid getting in some kind of trouble is that I don't drink alcohol while I am there. I do get a drink that looks like an alcohol drink, like a Virgin Mary (a Bloody Mary without the vodka -- basically spicy tomato juice with a celery stick in it) or a club soda (sparkling water) with a lime wedge. If people see a drink with some kind of garnish, they just assume that you are drinking alcohol. It's harder to hide if someone else wants to buy you a drink, but sometimes the bartender or waitress knows what you are drinking by then so you don't have to say it out loud.

When I drink alcohol, I lose some amount of control of my behavior and can become far more annoying and more likely to be yelled at or possibly attacked. When I do not drink alcohol, I am more aware of my surroundings and less likely to make a social blunder that will anger people.

I hope this helps a little.


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chainsawswinger
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06 Oct 2010, 10:20 pm

If you lose control of yourself or lose awareness of your surroundings when buzzed/drunk, I agree. Stay with the virgin drinks. Just realize that people can be quite territorial, boisterous and aggressive in pubs. They can act before they think. Which means that you should NOT act before you think.

Be friendly and approachable, don't pester people who don't want to chat with you, don't intrude in groups/conversations, don't sit in a seat if someone's stuff or drink is there, don't talk to girls if they're with their boyfriend, etc (unless they BOTH involve you in a conversation). *Definitely* do NOT stare at people, and when you're working your way through a crowd to the restroom, DON'T push, yell or say "Move." Be polite and say "Excuse me" just loudly enough to be heard over the noise. And don't look angry, look neutral/pleasant, or you'll be asking for trouble.

If you get any bad vibes, or people start getting aggressive with you, leave.


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samotny
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11 Oct 2010, 4:47 am

How to neutralised fear about pubs?



chainsawswinger
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12 Oct 2010, 6:31 pm

You can help neutralize fear by knowing how to act when you're in a pub. And know what to do in case a confrontation happens. Other than that, people go to pubs to drink and relax. You do have jerks who get aggressive when they're drunk, but you can usually tell when they're starting up. They get really loud and rambunctious. And if you do bump into someone, definitely say "Excuse me".


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