Why is being "weird" so bad?

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I don't know why, but there shouldn't be anything wrong with it. After all, a lot of the "weird" people have contributed new ideas and inventions to society...

People hate odd people when they're young, but love them as they age. In my life, I went from loser to popular very quickly because of my oddness. Actually, it was because I was genuine. Most people are a bunch of insecure liars attempting to put themselves above the next poor sap they can find. I just allow people to do it. I think, "hey, if this makes you feel better about yourself." People also like me because I'm smart and humble. No one likes an arrogant person. Thing is, you have to have a vision for your life that factors in others but excludes them at the same time. There is the way the world works and the way you think. I think, personally, that I would rather be a humble person and successful than arrogant. People are only arrogant because they think they have something to prove/are insecure etc. So, all those people picking on you for being odd are probably, secretly envious of you. They envy and hate you because you're not like "how you should be". That's the way the world is, I suppose.

I don't know if being weird is considered "bad", but it definitely depends on the people. In certain groups, being weird is fine. Now, be weird in a group of jocks, it probably will be frowned upon.

I think you've hit the truth here. Most human behavior on the automatic social scale is unconscious. Primate behaviors that signal acceptance are a complex dance of these vocal and body language signals...When a person puts out a 'strange' or hard to decode signal (remember, this is all subconscious), it triggers a mini 'fight or flight' response. That's why they back off, become hostile...etc. etc. = half the time young NTs have absolutely no idea why they are acting the way they do - for the most part, when they interact with one another it's all just the dance and getting what they want out of the contact. They are learning about life also and Aspie behavior gets tossed in the 'weird' box, and they act unconsciously to isolate and reject. Then there are the budding psychopaths and sociopaths amongst the NT population (bullies)... and that's a whole 'nother subject.

With serious educational effort, this can be dealt with - but it takes a major cultural shift. And even in the best schools and communities, it is very difficult to achieve. Raising the consciousness of the NT world is a big job...and it's ours. Whether we like it or not, I believe it's what mature Aspies and their NT allies do.

Oh, immature Aspies do it too...but it's more painful.

It depends on what kind of weird you're talking about. There are acceptable kinds of weird--there are people I know who are really, really weird, but still have tons of friends and people like them for it, but then there are people like me (and probably many others on here) who are rejected by everyone for being an unacceptable kind of weird. I'd really like to know what the difference is, actually, because everyone says that your differences are what make you special and likable, and I know plenty of people for whom this is true, but for me, my differences are what make people dislike me, and I've had plenty of people--including those who know me and are genuinely concerned for my wellbeing--tell me that I should change fundamental parts of myself, apparently under the impression they are character flaws rather than who I am (e.g. being too honest, or being reserved in social situations).

I feel like the world is saying, "Be yourself and embrace your differences--except certain people, actually, you guys really have to change." And I'm one of the ones who has to change.

I don't know if people tend to ignore me because I'm weird or because I never really talk unless someone speaks to me first. There are the rare occasions where i can spontaneously speak to others, but they're very rare and very transient.

Also doesn't help that the family who doesn't' ignore me (or isn't in that much contact with me to start with) call me weird. They explain how I should start conversations and I feel like I get treated like a small child. Guessing that's one of the reasons why I moved thousands of miles away for school.

i may have a new girlfriend. i am not sure.
i went to the supermarket (a small supermarket) yesterday and i noticed a nice girl that i had noticed before, and i was annoyed that i was dressed in a slovenly way, and i did not want to interact with her, but she was sawing the ice out of a refrigerator that usually contains the goods that i want to buy.

i said to her "where is the frozen indian food?" and she pointed me to where she had stacked it, and she thought i was asking her to find what i wanted.

i told her that i would look for what i wanted myself, and she said "ok. knock yourself out" and i very much liked what she said even though i did not fully understand it, and when i asked her what she meant she said things that made me like her very much. she liked that i liked her and i am quite happy about that. i know she wants me to talk to her again.
i will talk to her again because i like how she responds to me. she is a very nice person i fundamentally understand.

maybe she is beautiful, i do not know. i will see next time i talk to her.

tammy will not like it if i get a new friend. tammy will always matter most to me, but this other girl makes me want to like her also very much.

t is because we are bombarded by how the mainstream should be.. How " normal" looks like.

Take the TV show: The big bang theory, Shelden has all sort of issues, and he is weird, because he doesn't belong in the mainstream, it is even being advertised as weird. So people like him ( which we could be) Are now classified as weird because TV said so.
As thus the mainstream shows us that anything else outside a confined box is regarded as weird...

I don't know if this makes any sense hahaa

wow, my post last night was really off topic (i think)

anyway, some people have a propensity to feel "humiliated" or "embarrassed", and they are the people who lament that they seem weird to other people.
so being seen as "weird" really is only unpleasant in the minds of people who are partial to embarrassment, and i do not admire people whose self esteem comes only from the social approval of others. it seems weak to me to let other people destroy ones sense of integrity simply because they do not approve in a social sense.

i could not care less how i come across to people as long as they do not want to injure me or apprehend my progress. when i leave a persons presence, they may as well not exist because their brains are inside their skulls and not mine.

Hmm... I kinda wish I had your outlook.

There are a lot of good answers in this thread. Probably more than one is true.

I recently adopted the "I don't care" attitude. I also only care if there are consequences for what people think of me being "weird". I remember feeling ashamed of being "Weird" because then there must me something "wrong" with me. I think NT's feel uncomfortable because we're not predictible. For them, I imagine it's a lot driving in another country down the "Wrong" side of the road.

I love meeting "WEIRD" people, even if they aren't aspies and they're usally so relieved by my acceptance of them.

my outlook does not set me at an advantage. my emotional amplitude is zero. i never feel anything (emotionally) other than the stillness of the surface of the mirror smooth lake my that perception glides upon.

i had (maybe still have) a friend called sonia, and she liked that i did not experience feelings of unhappiness or loneliness or embarrassment or pride or shame or condolence or congratulation. all those things i did not feel were the things that would have made ripples in the lake of my sensorium.

so sonia thinks that i am immune to unhappiness, and that makes her wish she was like me, but i can not seem to convey to her that i am also immune to happiness, and my emotional depth is almost zero.

she has experienced very many times where she was so euphoric that she felt like she was "in a mental heaven", and she felt something that i never felt (i know because i asked her to describe it) that makes her smile to even remember (let alone re-experience)

she has felt many periods of time where she had high "self esteem", and she has rode high on the surge of her popularity within her otherwise circle of friends many times in the past. but her idea of who she is was not born in her own mind.
i have seen many alternations of her happiness cycle.
i asked her whether she would trade her fondest memories for a life of a perpetual "..who care's?" attitude?

she said that she would not want to trade her euphoria for my neutrality of affect, but she said also that my neutrality seems like paradise to her when she is in an "emotional maelstrom".


what is better? to see majesty alongside insanity? (euphoria/ paranoia(ie "happiness/ sadness"))
or just to look at the close by innocuous aspects of my reality .

i am much more absorbed by the plants in my backyard, and the birds i am learning the behaviors of than i am by crossing consciousnesses with other people.

so that means i have not the ability to feel "romantic rapture". people look happy when they experience it, and they seem to be augmented in their initiative as a result of their erotic social exchanges , and they seem happy beyond a level that i can understand. but i am glad that i never feel the bad things they feel.


if you are not like me, then you should not copy me.

what's weird? what's the "normality" in which to compare weirdness with? what I've figured out is that I shouldn't know, but more importantly, I shouldn't give a damn, because really, nobody knows or cares what normal, or neurotypical, is, in real life... that's what I think anyway^^

Some weird people are just best to be left alone They all don't have a board around their neck saying don't talk to me. So they have these verbal assaults. Which can really throw one off, then I obviously want to try and fix it, because I think I did something wrong.

I usually say "I rather be weird then normal" and "No one is normal"
I'm weird by being a girl that loves video games, sci fi, computers, going to conventions and cosplaying, tranaformers. I am a geek, so i am weird. I love being who i am and would never change that.