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Miyah
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27 Dec 2010, 8:16 pm

I have known a man with high-functioning Autism for more than 6 years and we even considered a possibility for dating material for a good 4 years. However, he is extremely picky and rigid along with fickle. So, he suddenly dropped me like a hot potato and didn't tell me what I did wrong and suddenly ignored and avoided me because I was getting on his nerves. He also has this thing in that he will only talk to me if I would talk about super intelligent subjects that he approves of. He has also chosen another close friend over me for face-to-face interactions because she is more calm than I am. He also seems to make me feel bad for talking about certain subjects such as living on my own. He also often seems to play Jekyll and Hyde with me where he will seem like he's my friend on week and my enemy the next.

Anyway, he currently lives with a roommate with a brain injury who isn't doing anything for himself and has the tendency to rip into other people's backs including himself. The man with Autism has a load of problems including social skills and other independent living skill deficits. So this roommate pries upon him by talking about everything wrong with him and has often called him a "Screw-up," or "Whack job." I had told him to stop talking that way around me but he insists that how is talks is acceptable. And so long story short, I attempted to explain the situation to the guy who has been miserable around me.

His response to me was that he would be willing to sit down and talk to him and myself involved yet he didn't want to be my friend outside of this chatroom after this meeting. In response, I decided to leave that chatroom and never speak to this guy again because of the way he acted around me. However, he had evidently told others for me that he really wanted to be my friend but was always worried about hurting me. However, I took that as an insult and that if he felt that strong about it, he should see me instead about the issues.

How should I let him go without trying to spend my time crying about it?



Dantac
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28 Dec 2010, 10:59 am

Its inadvisable to try and push yourself on someone regardless if its done with good intentions. Give him his space and just don't contact him until he contacts you.

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"He also has this thing in that he will only talk to me if I would talk about super intelligent subjects that he approves of. He has also chosen another close friend over me for face-to-face interactions because she is more calm than I am. He also seems to make me feel bad for talking about certain subjects such as living on my own. He also often seems to play Jekyll and Hyde with me where he will seem like he's my friend on week and my enemy the next."


That right there is something you need to really think about. I don't know him but from reading this I would say that he had you as a crutch or comfort until someone better (in his eyes/interests) came along. Question now is, do YOU want to be involved with this person after seeing this happen?

Do whats best for you not him.



Miyah
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28 Dec 2010, 12:37 pm

I did tell him that I am not going to contact him anymore if he is going to act like that in front of me and like you said, "Use me as a crutch." I would have never thought of it as that way either until you mentioned it.

I did tell him that if we want to talk, I gave him my address and home phone number if he ever needs to reconcile with me. Otherwise, I am going to leave him alone and think about all the positive friends in my life and concentrate on the things that I need to be concerned about.



Chronos
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29 Dec 2010, 4:20 pm

I think you should go over to the Love and dating forum and explain to the men there why you want to date/be friends with a jerk, because it's lost on me.



CockneyRebel
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29 Dec 2010, 5:54 pm

Chronos wrote:
I think you should go over to the Love and dating forum and explain to the men there why you want to date/be friends with a jerk, because it's lost on me.


You will get more suggestions there. 8)


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Miyah
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29 Dec 2010, 9:12 pm

This is the third friendship that has ended in a train wreck within the last year of losses.



Dantac
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30 Dec 2010, 10:43 am

*hug*