Taking a situation personally

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This afternoon, I got out of church and happen to attend one that is not on the bus line during the weekends. I basically ride with another family every week. I had asked them to drop me of at a local grocery store in my area right after church so that I could go buy food. The person driving the car after church was a 15-year-old son who just got his learner's permit and loves to drive. However, when it came being dropped off, he decided that he was going to drop me off across the street at a local library and then I would cross the road. His mother looked at me and said, "Would you mind if we dropped you off here? It's such a nice day and you can walk across the street." I was quite irritated and at the back of my mind I said, "Yes." I then got out of their car and slammed the door and walked off.


What do some of you think?

In my opinion, I thought that it was inconsiderate and rebellious the 15-year-old not to follow directions like that and leave me to walk across the street. I was also a little mad at the parents for allowing him to drop me off there.

Personally, unless your elderly or physically disabled which makes it hard for you to walk across the street, your actions were pretty much uncalled for. The family is doing you a favor in the first place by driving you and you should be grateful for that. It didnt sound unreasoable for them to do that. If the 15 yr old was just learning to drive, maybe he had difficulty getting to the precise location, if not its no big deal. Ive had things like that happen to me many times before and I didnt have a problem with it. Once I had a friend drop me off on the other side of a mall where I had some trouble trying to find my way to the other side to get to the street I wanted to get to. I wasnt mad at them at all, a little inconvient yes but in the end no biggie.

This is why I chose to make a posting about being dropped off. I was wondering if him dropping me off at the library instead of the grocery store may have been an issue. However, I really wish he would have mentioned that since he was new to driving that it would be more comfortable for him to leave me at the library since it was easier to get in and out of.

New to driving or not, to me its no big deal at all, the family most likely didnt mean anything mean to you. Unless your clearly physically disabled or have a hard time walking, its no big deal at all. Maybe if you have a hard time walking then it was unreasonable for them to leave you across the street.

Sorry Miyah, you're definitely in the wrong here. I'm a bit surprised actually- you're usually pretty sensible.

As Ai Ling pointed out, it's not much effort to cross a road, whereas if he were to have dropped you off on the other side, he might have had to go round the block or at least do a couple of U-turns. That all costs petrol.

If people are nice enough to do you a favour, then you should cut them a bit of slack and next time even offer to get out at the other side so as not to put them out of their way. Otherwise they might not offer as readily next time.

I think you owe those guys an apology, or at least a thanks for giving you a lift all those times.

p.s. when someone's doing you a favour, his age really shouldn't be an issue. You're no grandma yourself

The main reason I asked is because I have the tendency to make minor things personally. I also have Asperger's Syndrome and as most of you know, we happen to read or misinterpret things the wrong way lots of times. However, if there was something that could have been wrong on the other side, I also wanted to get a second opinion just in case.

I tend to take things very literally and I'm a bit of a perfectionist. Taking you close to where you asked to be dropped off, would never have been an option for me (without tons of reassurance from you to change the drop off location). And there are times where this type of thing would have annoyed me, since I would expect people to be as attentive to details as I would be when doing a favor.

But like the others said, it isn't a big deal. My husband often says, "let it go", which really helps me in these situations. I'm sure they didn't mean any harm or offense and you were probably able to get to your intended location fairly easily.

I do understand your initial annoyance and yes, I do think it's an Aspie thing. Perhaps even exasperated by a higher than average anxiety level.

Miyah, I think you both have a valid complaint and you over-reacted. I often do the very same thing. It can be a struggle.

The mother should have asked in a real way, 'Is this okay?' Instead she kind of tried to sell you (or maybe she was embarrassed regarding her son, either that he didn't ask and/or that he's still somewhat struggling with his driving).

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Yes, when someone agrees to take me to the location, I expect them to take me to the location, not merely close.

I think you are overreacting. It is possible that the 15-year was stressed since they were new to driving. I would have been puzzled about this but I would let it go. I am assuming of course that you are not physically disabled.

Ouch. Cut the poor kid some slack.

But still, it was not full respect by the mother. She should have asked in a real way.

Just goes to show you that sometimes NTs lack social skills, too!

I dunno - giving a free ride anywhere is more than most people will do these days anyway!

Hi,

There is one factor no one else though to bring up. Was this a very dangerous place to cross the street? As in, was this a very busy road with no crosswalk and light to cross at the light? If so, then I think you would be correct in not wanting to cross the street. However, in this case probably the best response would have been to calmly explain that normally you don't mind walking across the street but in that particular situation you felt it was very unsafe to cross the street due to a lack of crosswalk and light signal.

Yes, there was a cross walk but still. I didn't care for the way they went about dropping me off and it was very last minute too. They didn't tell me that they were planning on dropping me off in another location when it came to dropping me off. I thought that was odd myself.