Too unique to fit in with any group

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I have things in common with different types of social groups but there's things about me that prevent me from fitting in with em. People used to call me EMO a lot because I was kind of negative, pessimistic, cynical, depressed ect. I tried joining a few EMO sites but I had problems with lots of members because I was to individualistic.
People say I'm a geek sometimes because I spend a lot of time on computer, I like science-fiction & there's some things about my personality that seem geeky. I do NOT have the smarts, skills, or knowledge geeks tend to have thou so geeks see me as kind of an idiot.
I have some conservative moral traditional values that are more common with religious but I'm a Secular Humanist so religious people tend to look down on me.
People think I'm a pot-head because I'm slow, easily confused, unmotivated & directionless with life & I act weird but I'm straight-edge & am uncomfortable when people are doing drugs, getting drunk ect around me.
People think I'm gay because my personality is NOT masculine, I'm sensitive, I HATE sports, & I have some interest that are more common with women but gay guys tend to see me as a piece of meat & that freaks me out.
I'm a borderline asexual but the asexual community isn't very accepting of me because I do have a sex drive & I would be willing to have sex if I was in a serious relationship to please my partner so the asexual community sees me as kind of a poser.
I would like to find a group of people I can fit in with so I can make friends & hopefully get a girlfriend but I do not feel I should have to change anything about myself in order to be accepted. Do others here feel like they have lots in common with certain groups but cant quite fit-in This is very frustrating & lonely

I really hate when people try to classify depressed/pessimistic people as emo.....I mean I have depression and I am rather pessimistic but I don't wear skinny jeans, I don't have dyed and styled hair, and I don't have a group of 'emo' friends to go hang out with. Nor do I listen to emotional punk....actually people who listened to that genre where insulted by being called emo and they decided to accept it as their title and then it turned into a clique based on fashion and trying to act a certain way.

But anyways, you don't need to fit into a group.........and in my opinion there is not much of a reason to.

Although I can be negative and pessimistic, I never even considered myself to be anything like an emo.



I like computers, science fiction, and I have the smarts and skills too. But I'm still not really a geek. I'm too "antisocial" (really asocial) to be a geek, although I can understand them more than any other group.



I'm an atheist, so I don't have any religions affiliations to associate myself with either.



I don't know how many times I've been asked if I'm on drugs before at school. It gets really annoying, because I would never even consider such a thing.



People think I'm gay too, but I'm not. I'm not really masculine either, but I'm far from feminine.



I'm kinda the same way. I don't really want sex, but I do have a sex drive, so I'm not one of them either.



For the majority of my life that really hasn't been a priority. I know what you mean though. Although I think I finally have found somewhere I can fit in; right here on WP.

I like EMO music(used to like it more thou). I don't fallow the culture but I like people who are depressed & stuff & I have nothing against the EMO trend


It hasn't been a priority for me either. I didn't really want friends when I was in school but I'd like some now. I feel like I fit-in some here but I'm getting kind of tired of talking about AS issues. I also like some offline friends & a relationship but the odds are stacked against me here The only other group I feel I fit-in with rite now are iCarly/Miranda Cosgrove fans but most are under 18 so I am very careful not to talk about certain things & it would be very controversial for me to be friends with em offline & especially get in a relationship with any of em

i tried to find a crowd i belong to for years, but then i realized i don't belong anywhere so now i just hang out with all sorts of people even if none of them really sees me as one of their own.

Well I have just seen a lot of fakeness within it......I mean kids in my higschool would litterally go shopping with their friends by the latest fashion trends, spend a decent amount of time on hair and make up, had their own cars or where allowed to borrow their parents cars pretending to have problems. While I was still the outcast that actually had a lot of issues and was too depressed to do much as far as fashion, hair and make up go and then a couple people still had the mind to call me emo when I listen to basically metal and classic rock and was not part of the 'emo' clique. That being said I do not think all who accept that label are like that but a lot are.

Last edited by Sweetleaf on 30 Jun 2011, 2:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

Well, that's understandable. I don't really know what to tell you then. I'm all out of ideas.

and the point of this assholery was?

A GROUP? you want to fit into a GROUP?

Let me tell you something from experience, buddy. Groups suck. Or at least the organized, labeled ones. Or cliques. Or any sort of grouping that rotates around some common ground other then liking to hang out with each other.

Don't get me wrong, for some people groups can be very empowering, fun, whatever. But, as you have figured out, you are not one of those people that just "fits in" to an already established group. (neither am I)

A group that you do want to have is a group of friends. But focus on meeting individuals. You don't have to "fit in" to an individual. There just has to be mutual enjoyment of each others company! Trust me, as much of an outsider or weirdo you feel you are, there are people who feel just like you or even more so! They may have a lot of differences, but they may be able to understand you and accept you more then any group. Just talk to people and the ones who like you and vice versa will gravitate!

Soon, you will "fit in" to a group, but it will be a group of your own devising! Of diverse and interesting individuals who may not always agree on politics or religion or other such matters, but who will agree on the one thing that matters: enjoying each others company.

Yes, I never really fit in anywhere even though I have interests in common with people.

One problem I have is that of being so completely all-or-nothing. Even when I have found people with common interests, I end up taking things to yet another level and they do not. So in that respect, my "normal" is to over-do ... and I have yet to ever find a group of over-doers to join!

I've seen a lot of fakeness with it to. I didn't fit-in with em because I didn't want to subscribe to their fakeness. I wish I could think of a social group for people who do have problems & aren't fake.


Your rite I do want to have a group of friends but I'm not sure where or how to meet individuals. I know how to find groups that I have things in common with but I have problems with em after a while. How can I meet people who will accept me & like me the way I am other than by randomly lucking out

Hmm.... you go to school, right? Or you have a job or some other such situation where you go regularly and see the same people around?
If not, I don't really know how to help you because the only way I have been able to make friends is at school or work or through family, a situation where I am basically being forced to be around other people who may or may not be like me all the time. Otherwise you have to "go out" and find people. (Which, as I know from personal experience, is hard if you are a shy homebody.) I go to a sci-fi book club once a month and I've met people there too.

Maybe even go to these "groups" that you know how to find and just stick around to see if there is someone in that group who you get along with.

Basically what I'm getting to is you need to have some avenue to meet people through. This takes a lot of the awkwardness off because you are just two people in the same place at the same time. Talk to people! Or just try to engage people if they talk to you, even if it's just a simple question. Try not to be too forced or nervous, just say what comes to mind.

Most of my friends are people who I knew for months in class or at a job. I slowly got used to their presence, maybe just randomly answered a question or said a few things. Eventually I think they started noticing me (I don't really "try" to approach people or "become" their friend.) and as we got more familiar, one or the other of us suggested hanging out, or ate lunch together, or something like that.

Focus on getting to know the people around you, not trying to make them your friend or find a friend. You can't really know whether you and another person are going to "hit it off" until you know them! A lot of my close friends are not the sort of people I would "expect" to be friends with. There are a lot of people who I know fairly well, but consider them acquaintances because I just hang out with them at school or work or whatever.

For me, friendships happen really slowly. My best friend for the last two years, we are like siblings we are so close, knew me for almost a year before we started hanging out!

Are you aspie or are we just the next 'group' on your self discovery list?

gosh i don't even fit in here.

dont worry abou' it

+1