Did I do the right thing???

Post Reply New Topic

There's a girl I used to be friends with who acts like she's the only one who can get offended by stuff. She will go off in a sulk if you say the slightest thing about her but she thinks it's okay to say things about me and my other friends. For some reason it always seems to be me, but maybe I just don't notice as much when it's the others?? Anyway, I have tried to explain that the things she says hurts me and the others but she doesn't listen. She has told me I'm pathetic, and I can't take a joke, and that my complaining makes her want to punch me in the face. There isn't really a pattern to what she teases me about, it's just anything that she sees about me that she can say something about like that. This has been going on for two years now.
The problem is that she doesn't realise that she is doing anything wrong. She doesn't see how what she says hurts me or the others, she thinks it is just jokes. However if I were to say the same things to her she would go off and not speak to me for days because of it.
A few days ago we went on a school trip. We were waiting to get on the minibus, and she was teasing me about stuff again (a boy in the class that I used to like but haven't for ages). I just got really angry and I tried to slap her around the face, but she has good reflexes and managed to dodge. I have never wanted to slap or hurt someone before like that.
As we got off the minibus when we got to the museum, she told me she forgave me for slapping her. I said I didn't forgive her for what she was doing. She didn't understand what I was talking about, even though I tried to explain. She ended up with a crowd of people around her, asking what was happening. "Did Rachel slap you? Why?" She said, "I don't know" and she meant it. That just made me angrier as she saw me as the only one in the wrong, yet it was really both of us (her for what she was saying, me for reacting how I did). Also, she has not been in school since then. She has done this in previous arguments we have had over exactly the same thing, probably to make me feel guilty. However I don't feel guilty as I have decided that for my own mental health and wellbeing we should not be friends (because what she said used to make me feel really bad a lot and I got really depressed because of her).
Another thing is that this friend has displayed a few autie/aspie kinds of behaviour, such as obsessions and a dislike of contact with other people. I have suggested to her that she may have autism or asperger's but she is certain that she doesn't....still, if she does then could this be to do with social skills impairment or something?
I really don't know if I did the right thing here or if I went badly wrong here. I also don't know what to do next??

"However if I were to say the same things to her she would go off and not speak to me for days because of it."

I would try and mirror her behaviour back at her. Say the same sort of things to her and enjoy the few days of peace. If she confronts you say "Oh that!" (like you had almost forgotten you had said it at all, like it was very unimportant to you) "I was just joking, can't you take a joke?" But that's just what I would do.

Just something I made up. I'm not an expert or anything and for all I know it could backfire horribly. It's just what I would do in that situation.

Right thing for what? Dumping her as a friend or consulting her about autism?

I think you were right to dump her. She was a big hypocrite but sadly she is not aware of it and doesn't think she is doing wrong. Maybe someday she will learn.

Wrong to consult her? No.