Always worrying that the worst will happen.

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I've not seen this anywhere on the forums yet, but I;m sure that it's been covered before.

I live in constant worry that the worst will happen whatever options that I chose, which has been my mindset for the last 20 odd years.

For instance, I've always wanted to move to a city, with more to do that drink and work, which is what it is like now, but...
What if a future housemate doesn't like me?
What if a future flatmate turns out to be a nutcase?
What will they expect me to do?

And so on until the thought of moving becomes too much of a risk in my head that I remain where I am even though I don't like it.

I apply this type of thinking to every situation and can't seem to focus on anything else even though it is getting in the way of moving on with my life. I'm fairly sure that it all stems from experiences and incidents that occurred in my early life.

Any help or advice that you could throw my way would be greatly appreciated as I really really want to break this cycle.

I can relate to worrying about everything.

I have always been anxious about every choice I make. I can work myself up into a great deal of anxiety at even fairly minor issues. For example, yesterday I was considering attending a writing group, but the fear of making a fool of myself as I wandered around the library looking for where the meeting was to be held make me decide to stay at home.

On the other hand, my fear of being homeless has made me very vigilant about problems that could lead to me being out of work. When I could see that in 5 years time the kind of work I was doing in 2005 would be gone, I was so afraid of being out of work that I set about learning a new trade and now have a better job than I did before.

Sometimes you can make your psychopathology work for you.

But what I think you need to do is to summon every bit of courage you have and take those risks you are worrying about. Yes, you will make mistakes and there will be times when things won't work out well. But you have to keep reminding yourself that you will survive. That you have some skills at life, even if it feels like you don't.

If you keep trying, even when things go badly, odds are some of your attempts will pay off. Eventually, with more and more tries, you will learn that you will succeed some of the time.

The only way to break the cycle is to DO SOMETHING. Take the risk. And then take the next one. And the next. You will grow and learn and become a stronger person.

Have courage and good luck.

1. Occasionally the worst does happen. All you can do is hope for the best and plan for possible worst case events, so you won't need to freak over not being prepared.

2. Sit down and think about it--really think about it. How often does the worst possible outcome really happen. Truth is, not very often, unless you sit on your hands and don't take care of your needs. So take care of what needs taking care of. The worst probably won't occur, so don't borrow trouble ahead of time, when it will probably not happen.

The horrible things in the news are "NEWS EVENTS"--happenings that are out of the norm. That's what makes them news.

Seize the day! Enjoy the life you have, and don't look for trouble that hasn't happened. Put up a poster of Chuck Norris. Remember, the bogey men under the bed, and the monsters in the closet are afraid of Chuck Norris. So are the worst case wussies.

Thank you for replying with both your own experiences and advice.

Looks like the only way I'll get moving on this is to take a deep breath and jump!

I like the concept of H.O.P.E. (Have Only Positive Expectations). If you try to imagine things turning out well, you can create your own hope - even if you're feeling hopeless to begin with!

For me, I don't retain the focus on one outcome (in this case the worst that will happen) but I think more broad and in the fact that there can be multiple outcomes. Sure it doesn't exactly guarantee that the worst won't happen but it's always good to know there are things that you can do as well to get through it. It does put a little pressure on yourself (anxiety), in the end however I've always treated it as an experience and that it can always be well worth it and support in some way (positive or negative outcome). Personally, I've been the type of person that likes to push themselves and not saying you should in a negative context but it does take some bravery. Bravery isn't something anybody lacks either, it's just something you will have to muster. It took me awhile to do so even for simple tasks such as asking someone a question, now I've just increased my experiences and know it can be handled.
Good luck and hope to see you get through this!

[quotes] I've not seen this anywhere on the forums yet, but I;m sure that it's been covered before.

I live in constant worry that the worst will happen whatever options that I chose, which has been my mindset for the last 20 odd years.

For instance, I've always wanted to move to a city, with more to do that drink and work, which is what it is like now, but...
What if a future housemate doesn't like me?
What if a future flatmate turns out to be a nutcase?
What will they expect me to do?

And so on until the thought of moving becomes too much of a risk in my head that I remain where I am even though I don't like it.

I apply this type of thinking to every situation and can't seem to focus on anything else even though it is getting in the way of moving on with my life. I'm fairly sure that it all stems from experiences and incidents that occurred in my early life.

Any help or advice that you could throw my way would be greatly appreciated as I really really want to break this cycle.[quote]

I know how you feel, and I go through the same thinking patterns, but you just HAVE TO take risks! PUSH yourself! Whenever I'm about to take a risk and I'm feeling afraid, I tell myself: "I'll still be alive" ..."whatever happens I'll still be okay"... Besides, if you've noticed, the only people who are happy are the ones who took risks, sometime in their lives. While, people who never took risks are depressed their whole existence (sorry for the bluntness). How can you be happy if you don't even try? And even if you try and fail...get up on your feet and try again! Don't let life get the better of you! FIGHT FOR YOUR HAPPINESS(however many tries it takes!)
If my parents (who live in Canada) wouldn't have taken risks, they would have stayed in their poor criminal town in Russia, wouldn't have finished university, wouldn't have found each other, and wouldn't have had me... I believe I've made my point. I hope I convinced you. All the very best of luck to you!! !!

I've had that and then the worst did seem to happen...don't know if I will ever get over it.